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Vocabulary
Tom Gorin, head of Cleveland, Duble & Arnold, suggests two new terms for our real estate industry. One is “Farport”, describing what results when a builder is prevented by our Floor Area Ration rules (FAR) from building a real garage: you get a lattice-sided carport, easy prey to thieves and vandals but, by God, it’s not included in FAR calculations because the walls are see-through. Does this (farports, not the term itself) make any sense? I was on the Riverside Association Board of Trustees (or whatever) when that august body voted to support the FAR concept. I thought it was a dumb idea at the time but my fellow members did not. Dumb or not, the concern was restricted to protecting the streetscape from too bulky buildings; no one on the board seemed concerned with what individuals did with the inside of their homes, they just didn’t want to see large houses.

Franklin Bloomer and his fellow FAR zealots did, and do care, however, with the result that the interior space above garages must now be rendered unusable, garages can’t have walls and houses on two acres in the four acre zone must now be smaller than those in one acre zones. None of this affects bulk or serves streetscape preservation. In fact, the results are so blindingly stupid that the only possible excuse for not amending the FAR, in my opinion, is the refusal of Bloomer et als to admit that they were wrong in the first place. Dumb, dumb, dumb.

More Vocabulary from Tom“Listing wars”, used to explain a ridiculous price on a new listing. Happens when three or four agencies are invited to “price” a house. The first one in probably has a decent grasp of value. The third or fourth, knowing that others have trod where they are about to, shoots the moon and comes up with an absolutely insane price and wins the listing. Of course, the house will never sell for anything close to what the agent proposes but by then, it’s too late.

Maher Avenue
Two great listings on this street, 4 Maher Court (Michelle Klosson listing) asking $3,250,000 and 15 Maher Avenue (Martha Jeffrey) at $2,799,000. Each nicely redone, each with its own distinct charm. An added bonus: you can admire the cars parked along the street by Brunswick students. Nothing lesser than a Lexus, naturally.

7 Middle Way
This Lucas Point home, listed by Ann Simpson, is owned by friends of mine (well, I thought they were friends, until they listed with Ann!) so take my praise with a grain of salt. But really, it’s a wonderful old house. Built in 1889, nicely renovated and updated over the past century and located in one of the best neighborhoods in Greenwich. Lucas Point is a “you get it or you don’t” kind of place; if you get it, and I do, you’ll pay to have a terrific group of neighbors and friends, a private beach, boat yard, and so forth. You don’t get it, you’ll see a crowded area with no privacy and small yards. Testament to its virtues is that folks here either move entirely away, out of town, or just shift around within the Point. No one seems to leave voluntarily. Neat house, three floors, 5,000 + sq. ft., a ½ acre yard, all for $4,450,000. I think that’s a good price.

Lost Art
There’s a great book called, I think, “The Lost Art of Building Stone Walls”. I used it years ago when I was trying, with limited success, to rebuild drywall stonewalls but it’s superfluous now that our Mexican neighbors have figured out how to mortar and shape stone. We do seem to need, however, a new book instructing folks how to build banisters – I am amazed at how many otherwise decent houses have shaky banisters that wobble when gripped and give absolutely no assurance that they’ll prevent one from falling to his death twenty feet below. What gives? After the exterior appearance, the first thing a buyer encounters that suggests the quality of a building is the banister as he ascends the stairs. If that’s a flimsy bit of nonsense I, at least, assume that the rest of the house suffers from the same lack of attention to detail. Crazy, especially when the asked price is $6,000,000 and higher.

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