Who is George Lindemann, Jr.?

 

Oh, Monica, how can you laugh? George is back to frying frogs and im sure puppies are next!"

"Oh, Monica, how can you laugh? George is back to frying frogs and I'm sure puppies are next!"

For anyone who missed the story, George Lindemann Jr. is the son of one of the wealthiest men in the world, George Lindemann Sr., of Greenwich and Palm Beach. George Junior grew up in Greenwich and graduated from Brown but his heart was set on being an Olympian. To further that end dad bought his boy Cellular Farm (one of dad’s fortunes was made in cellular communications) in Armonk, New York, just up the road from Greenwich. Georgie proved as inept at managing a horse farm as he was at riding and dad eventually grew tired of footing the bills for a failed venture. “Make the place profitable” he warned,”or I shut the place down.”

 

Georgie was in a panic. He’d spent $250,000 of his father’s money on “Charisma”, a jumper that was supposed to bring fame, and a subsequent improvement in fortunes, to George and cellular Farms. But the horse was a bust. Rather than admit defeat or plead with his father for more time, Georgie hired a professional horse killer to come up to Armonk and electrocute his horse. If you aren’t squeamish, here’s how a horse is killed for insurance purposes: the killer takes a heavy-duty extension cord and cuts off the female end, replacing it with two alligator clips attached by a long wire. One clip is attached to the horse’s ear, the other to his anus and the cord’s plugged into a wall socket. The lights flicker, the horse starts to fry and eventually his guts blow up, simulating a fatal case of horse colic. Horses are big and rot quickly so their bodies usually don’t hang around long enough for an insurance adjuster to view the corpse. Instead, the owner either buries it immediately or pays the local large animal veterinarian to sign off on the cause of death and then brings in the bulldozer. So long as the killer is careful not to leave obvious scorch marks around the anus, no one complains too loudly, especially if the vet is paid handsomely for his troubles.

Georgie was convicted of his crimes. Sentenced to jail, he never attended – in fact, as far as we can determine, he never even endured a full body cavity search – there are some things you just don’t do to the son of the richest man in town. He has retreated to Miami, Florida, where he now poses as a patron of the arts, philanthropist and all-around decent good citizen. His parents, of course, are best friends with Walter and Monica Noel. What a small world.

4 Comments

Filed under Uncategorized

4 responses to “Who is George Lindemann, Jr.?

  1. anonymous

    God bless you.

  2. anonymous

    Don’t post:

    But just to be clear, please, can you confirm that this picture is taken within the last week? That
    this is who she chose to be with after what happened in the last few weeks – all the lives ruined?

    • christopherfountain

      No, old photo – 2 years old, at least. I’m just having fun with the material I can find. Speaking of which, it seems almost impossible to find a photo of George Jr. There’s one showing a beefy bearded guy but it’s variously identified as George Jr. and George Sr. If it’s the latter, it was taken a long time ago. I think I’ll post it and see if I hear from Lindemann lawyers.

  3. Anonymous

    i can’t believe what was done to that horse.:-( .
    Do unto others…