Daily Archives: January 14, 2009

Bush derangement syndrome rages on

Now the poor bastard is blamed for encouraging too many breast implants

In the Bush years, the plastic surgery bubble seemed a sure sign of madness bound to burst. Parents purchasing breast implants for their teenage daughters, husbands buying surgery gift cards for their wives, actresses and models documenting hospital pilgrimages on TV, boob blogs. Rear ends were lifted while Iraq burned, the deficit soared, and the polar ice caps melted.

Oh puleeze – I was quite sure that I’d heard of breast implants before George came to destroy Eden and this suspicion was confirmed when a quick trip to Google for “Breast Implants 1995″ (when, you may recall, a certain breast aficionado not named Bush was President) came up with two billion hits.

I’m warning BDS sufferers now – you can drag out the inevitable, hold show trials of Bush Administration figures for years, blame the death of polar bears and a surplus of overly-plump buttocks on Bush, but some day in the not too distant future you’ll have to face the new reality and acknowledge that the man’s gone. And then what will you do?

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Too much coffee makes you see double

Too much coffee makes you see double

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A bad market will do that to a fella

lucyfootball Hugo needs $85 a barrel oil to stay in power and it’s trading at less than $40. What to do? Invite western oil companies to come back, pretty please? Are they that dumb? Hell yes!

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It’s Allah’s will- don’t blame us!

Arab sovereign funds lost $80 billion last year.

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Tan me hide when I’m dead, Fred*

Into rich, Corinthian leather, please. Ricardo Montalban dead at 88.

* for those of you too young to remember 1963’s finest song, the lyrics to “Tie me kangaroo down, Sport” may be found here.

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There’s always a bright side

 

Sorry!

Sorry!

That charming wife we quoted yesterday notwithstanding, the economic collapse may actually prolong marriages that are based on hubby’s earnings – the unhappy couples are realizing that they can’t afford to divorce. Aw, that’s so sweet. Andy and Debby Madoff will reunite, the Fabulous Noel Girls will keep their husbands, and all will be right with the world, until the pending charges are resolved, anyway.

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Damn

Steve Jobs taking a medical leave of absence. In fact, since I’m posting this using my firm’s awful Windows machine, double damn.

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