Dealbreaker: How to solve the slump

Warning to my humor-challenged friends: sarcasm ahead.

How do you handle a flagging economy convulsing with the powerful seizures of acute (and badly needed) deleveraging? Why, by creating incentives to pour more debt into the system, of course. You have to make sure people are buying flat panel TVs and SUVs on credit without impediment, as is their god-given right as Americans. You have to encourage more deposit-less mortgages. You create the impression that low interest rates are an entitlement. Raising them to meet market needs is a crime.

You have to rev up the re-fi machine. People can’t afford their mortgage anymore? Give them a tax credit, a check and then kick the living shit out of the lender until she forgives a large portion of the debt. (We call that “modification” and not “nationalization” of the debt, but it’s the same thing. Want TARP money? No? Take it anyhow, unless you want to destroy the financial system in the United States you anti-American pig. And use it to lend lend lend, damnit, or there will be hell to pay).

And you talk the talk:

You don’t say borrowing. You say lending. You don’t say debt. You say credit. Example:

Incorrect: If we want to save this country, we have to increase the debt in this economy.
Correct: If we want to save this country, we have to increase the available credit in this economy.

Now get back to work (buying on credit) you American hating slackers.

Dodd Says Credit Card Companies Too Often Are Gouging Customers [Bloomberg]

1 Comment

Filed under Uncategorized

One response to “Dealbreaker: How to solve the slump

  1. mhanna43

    Maybe we should all go back to old times standards of saving practices. Look at some reports on China’s economy. 70% of there total take home pay per week goes into a savings account where we spend about 30% more than we make on average. Get ready for the nation to be bought out. Check out the article at http://liquidmarket.wordpress.com/2009/02/11/chinese-house-hunters-tour-us-in-search-of-sweet-deal/ about the chinese investors taking group tour trips over here to look at foreclosed homes as investments to place their children in who will be going to college etc. in the state! Comment with thoughts on this matter.