Check out this ad in today’s WSJ. That’s expensive placement, so here’s what Sotheby’s did with its money:
Ah, the brown lawns of winter - so appealing in June!
Bedroom by Diamond and Barata
Dungeon bar by Diamond & Barata for BJ O'Rourke's
Okay, so a collection of horrible photographs – for New Jersey, maybe that’s what passes for high class. But how about this bit of copy?
THIS EUROPEAN CHATEAU HAS INCREDIBLE CURB APPEAL! A GATED CIRCULAR DRIVEWAY LEADS TO THE ESTATE WHICH OVERLOOKS A GORGEOUS INGROUND POOL/WATERFALL AND PRIVATE POND W/DOCK.THIS PRESTIGIOUS HIGH RIDGE HOME HAS 10 FT CEILS,COFFERED CEILS,IMPORTED TILES AND TRIM.AN ELEVATOR WHICH ACCESSES ALL 3 LEVELS.THE CHARM OF THIS ONE OF A KIND SHOWPLACE WITH ELABORATE MBR SUITE/PRIV ELEVATOR AND OVERSIZED BATH/JAC/SS.3 BRS,3BTHS. 2-ST EF LEADS TO LIBRARY,GREATRM/FPL,AND GOURMET KITCHEN OVERLOOKING POOL AND POND. MAIN LEVEL ALSO HAS GUEST BR AND BATH.FULL FINISHED LOWER LEVEL WITH PUB RM/FPL,GYM,BR,BTH.6 CAR GARAGE.HOME NEEDS LOVING TOUCH.
That’s one hell of a big indoor pool, even for new jersey. And I love the “home needs loving touch” touch which of course means, “the place is a hopeless dump.”
No doubt the owner of this place is away for 5-10 and without internet privileges for that period, so he won’t care. But why would a real estate broker expose its own weaknesses so publicly and in such a prominent publication? Or is this just the best that Sotheby’s New Jersey has to offer? I mean, for all I know, maybe this is, as the ad says, “as good as it gets”.
Pardon the typo, Chris. We meant to say POOL COVER FULL OF POND SCUM NEEDS LOVING TOUCH.