Bernie Madoff sentencing date

It’s scheduled for Monday but this author thinks it will be continued, probably several more times. I suppose that Bernie’s not going anywhere anyway, but we do need some new developments in the case to keep things interesting. I wonder how the Brit’s investigation of money laundering by Walt’s son-in-law Andres Piedrahita  is going?

14 Comments

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14 responses to “Bernie Madoff sentencing date

  1. Andres Piedrahita

    Hello everyone! I’m sure you are all dying to know what I’ve been up to. Well…I’ve been hiding from angry Columbian drug lords which is easy for me because I’m a man of small stature. More recently, I’ve been blowing back into the spotlight on a cloud of tanning oil and fresh ocean breeze. The Carribean has great places to stash away people’s life savings. I don’t think I’ll ever come back to Greenwich because there are people there who are looking for me. Oops…I hear a loud bang on the door…gotta run!!!

    Off to St Barths

    Kind Regards,

    Andres

  2. Walt

    Dude -
    You KILL ME!!!! Author? Professional Real Estate Agent? Lawyer? MY WRITINGS!!!!!!!
    I am rolling around the floor here, pissing my pampers. I LOVE YOU DUDE!!
    Keep the comedy up!!! You are showing a spark of talent. I know, it surprised me too. But just in case, consider enrolling in a trade school. I suggest bartender school. We will hire you at BJ O’Toole’s. As long as you agree to wear a gag, so you don’t piss off the customers.
    And tell Hiram to come out of the closet. His schtick sucks. Proof and post, Copy Boy!!!

    WORM!!!
    Your Pal,
    Walt

  3. Oh.dear.lord.

    Chris, you’ve got two Walt’s and now Andres posting on your blog.

    What’s next? Monica? One (or all) of the filly’s? The grandkids? The Brazilian gardeners? Colombian drug lords? Lord Glenconner? Matt Brown? Charles Murphy? Jeffrey Tucker (oh wait, I think he’s already posted a few times. : D )

    I’m really looking forward to Marco Sodi posting because I’d like to ask him how, and why, he was the only one who avoided “working” for Walt.

    This is hilarious. Real estate, libertarian politics, and scandal all wrapped up into one pithy blog with creative writing and creative posters.

  4. Corina No-elle

    Oh Andres,

    You’re such a joker! Everything is fine in London and Madrid. The girls are speaking all the romance languages, our eldest is getting primed for Daddy’s business and I’m fabulous. No worries here at the Piedrahita household.

    Bernie? Bernie who? Never heard of him.

    Due Diligence?! But of course.

    Money laundering? Nothing to launder, I spend it all.

    Can’t make it to Greenwich — our social calendar is tighter than my ass!

    Off to the spa.

    Besos,

    Corrie

  5. Marisa No-elle

    Here here big sister, Corina!

    We’re all fab! We’re Noels (pronounced ‘noelle’). We can get over this little PR foible.

    Madoff Smadoof!

    And it’s a rumor about my town house — it’s not for sale. Ok, well that’s not true. It is — but only because we’re downsizing. And the public schools in NYC are terrific — my eldest is on the waiting list at the most prestigious one in Manhattan.

    And who’d a thought clipping coupons could be so chic.

    Well off to consign last years clothes, then pilates, topped off with a drink at Doubles to meet Matt (he’s checking coats there)!

    Ciao!

    Marisa

  6. oh.dear.lord.

    Thank you. I asked and you blessed me with an almost immediate reply.

    Marco Sodi next, please?

  7. Walt

    Hiram/Andres/Corina -
    You are lame Dude. And lame hurts me, because I think of the Filly’s so. And yes, you can suck it, Hiram. Big time. You no talent hack.
    You proof and post, COPY BOY!!!
    So go ahead and delete this Chris, you weasel. No talent BASTARD!!
    I threw that in just for fun!!
    But take my advice on the trade school. I will do you a solid, and get you a gig. In spite of the fact you have no discernable abilities or talent.
    Your Pal,
    Walt

  8. Sambone

    Walt loves you, I can tell.

  9. Marco Sodey

    Hey Guys,
    Slow down, rallentore, monte bella, easy!
    A wise man in my village told me: “if you want to be-a happy for a life, take a plain woman for a wife” so when Walt lined up his fillies back in 95, I selected the plain Noel girl – and stayed out of that whole Madoff mess. But-a now everyone is-a pullin me back in, they can’t tell a Marisa from an Ariana from a Alexi. If I knew I was-a gonna be dragged in, I woulda married one of the other fillies with the arm muscles and flat bellys.
    I’m-a no crook, just a regular Private Equity guy, making obscene amounts of money for pumping other peoples money into businesses that have no idea what they are worth. I just take a little bit of crust for myself here and there and take-a no personal risk. But that’s-a no crime, I promise you.

    Ciao a Tutti!

  10. Marco Soo-dee

    Ciao belli amici!

    All is well in London, although I haven’t seen much of my little jokester brother in law, Andres. He’s very misunderstood.

    By the way, who’s Charles Ponzi? Is he in the social register?

    Off to the pubs,

    Marco

  11. Philly Taub

    Hey there!

    Like the pun — Philippe, phillie — get it?!

    Andres and Marco told me about this awesome site. You guys are a riot.

    Since I left Walt’s firm, I’ve gone back to my bartending roots and making a some pretty good dough in Port Chester. Remember Marty’s — a great place for fun and fine food (and some hot chicks). I still got it, even with out all the money I once had.

    (But don’t tell my mother in law — our marriages are supposed to be scandal free — remember the VF article back in 2002? he he he!)

    Gotta go –Friday night in PC awaits.

    Cheers,

    Philly

  12. Jessica From Brooklyn

    And, just where have the Noels gone? Their P.R. guy must have them lying low…..it must be getting boring in those houses. The real fighting should be starting soon…… Is a man who has lost his money, or who is about to lose his money, as attractive and funny as he was when he had all the loot? Would a man be as willing to put up with the horse faces and all that incessant chatter if he suddenly had to trade in the Benz for a used Kia? Yep, things are probably getting real interesting about now……

  13. The Housekeeper

    I am still working for the Noels, who are just lovely people. I don know about all this Bernie Madoff situation or the Noels’ financial troubles, but I can tell you that they have kept on paying my thirty five dollar weekly salary right on time just as before.
    I have noticed some things, however that have changed. First I have noticed that the Mrs. has stopped beating me and the other staff quite as often, probably because she doesn’t have the energy she used to when she was loaded up on lobster and rum punch from Round Hill Club. They won’t serve her over there anymore, so I have to make up whatever cocktails I can out of laundry and landscaping chemicals.
    I have also noticed that the girls are going longer between laundry to try to save on detergent. I found the most disgusting thong yesterday – I had to pick it up with a stick.
    I really feel sorry for these people. They were nice enough to bring me here in 1980, and they have never cut my wages even once. And once the Mr. got all that sex stuff out of his system a few years back, my 5×7 room was all mine. They even made me a director of several offshore corporations, but I don know what that is, so I just say “okay”.
    Please, be nice to them. I need this job.

    Sincerely, Consuela