Well we know Bernie’s not walking out of prison alive

Fox News, burned out from wall-to-wall Michael coverage no doubt, has come up with a prison “expert” (that would be any bum who spent years behind bars) to opine on how Bernie’s gonna get shived by an inmate paid to do so by a burned investor. I understand the insane desire to keep up ratings – why do you think I’m all Walt, all the time? – but this is just silly. he dies, he dies, but wasting airtime on a loudmouth isn’t productive.

Besides, and getting back to Walter, isn’t it more likely that if there’s a cheesed off investor floating around out there angry enough to kill  he’s a Colombian and wants revenge on Walter’s beloved son in law, Andres Piedrahita? Where is Andres these days, anyway? If he’s going to get whacked, I do hope he’ll have the decency to return to Greenwich for the final exit interview – we have standards to maintain here and his death in an obscure little Spanish village won’t help us at all.

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3 responses to “Well we know Bernie’s not walking out of prison alive

  1. Andres Piedrahita

    They will ever find me. I have been pacing up and down Greenwich avenue for the past week and no one even batted an eyelash. How did I do it? Simple. I went to Brazil and had extensive facial reconstruction surgery. I also changed my name to Fucter N. Hadasnack.

    Off to The Round Hill Club

    Kind Regards,

    Andres

  2. Walt

    Dude –
    Andres invested the money of rich white aristocrats, not Colombian drug lords. Read this:

    http://www.spectator.co.uk/the-magazine/life-and-lives/3213051/high-life.thtml

    He will be fine. Hiram – give it up.
    Oh – AND SUCK IT!!!
    Proof and POST – Copy Boy!!!
    Your Pal,
    Walt

  3. Tilly

    Ok you made me spit my drink through my nose on that one. That was priceless…

    I would think all the noels and their husbands are having some sleepless nights and looking over their shoulders…