No wonder my ancestors fled Holland

The NYT writes about a “hamburger”chain in Holland that features a six-inch-thick contraption, replete with truffles, sixteen kinds of cheeses and a wooden shoe. And it costs $2o bucks. And no french fries! Whatever it is they’re selling over there, it’s not a hamburger.

A hamburger, to riff on that old joke about Queen Elizabeth, must fit in my mouth. If you need a knife and fork to dissect it, you’ve moved into the category of pot roast, or something. The best hamburgers I make involve the use of a hamburger press and an 85/15% mix of ground hamburger, served on a sandwich-sized English muffin, a slice of red onion, salt, pepper and ketchup. That’s a hamburger. Anything else is some effete version of Dutch/New York Times food.

Not a "hamburger"

5 Comments

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5 responses to “No wonder my ancestors fled Holland

  1. Cobra

    Per burger, a third of a pound of ground Kobe-style beef, a spoonful of bacon bits, a half ounce or so of shredded sharp cheddar, lots of worcestershire sauce, all kneaded together. Serve with lettuce, tomato, two additional slices of bacon and one of Deli-Deluxe “Bacon Cheddar” cheese on top, all placed on an appropriately sized kaiser roll. Add catsup or A-1 sauce if desired. Alternatively, crumbled gorgonzola as a substitute for the shredded cheddar and slice of bacon cheddar. Tasty and good for you, too.

  2. Peeps

    I agree with your recipe, but I’d switch the english muffin for a hard roll and also switch the hamburger for a sauteed portobello mushroom. Oh, and add some sliced avocado.

  3. Peeps

    I was waiting for a testy reply from you. I think your recent brush with mortality has definitely mellowed you. I was kind of goading you with the “Replace the burger with a mushroom” suggestion.