If you have to ask, you’ll need a tax payers’ subsidy
Tesla sedan arrives to rave reviews. It does sound like fun: zippy, quiet, great handling, 300-mile range, the whole package. But that package will set you back $105,000 and with a recharging time of eight hours you’ll need a second car if you want to take an extended trip from home.
Of course, if you can spend six figures for a toy you probably already have a few spare cars kicking around in your garage. Word has it that John Kerry’s ordered six of these, five of which he’ll contribute to the Obama campaign.
Stop him before he squirts again!
Arrest teens for attacking others with chlorinated dihydrogen monoxide. Vice President Joe Biden, who recently engaged in the same felonious behavior on the White House lawn, is reported to be in hiding at Camp David while Justice Department lawyers negotiate his surrender.
You talkin’ to ME?
The end creeps inexorably closer to the Round Hill Club’s most infamous member, Walter Noel.
Hedge fund manager agrees to pay clients $405 million he lost to Madoff.
Clients of J. Ezra Merkin, a prominent Wall Street hedge fund manager who invested his clients’ money in Bernard L. Madoff’s epicPonzi scheme, will recover more than $400 million under a civil settlement negotiated by the New York State attorney general’s office.
The deal was approved by a New York state judge late Friday night, according to people in the office of New York Attorney General Eric T. Schneiderman; it is expected to be publicly announced on Monday.
Mr. Merkin, whose funds lost roughly $1.2 billion when Mr. Madoff’s fraud collapsed in December 2008, has agreed to pay $405 million over three years to compensate his investors. He also will pay an additional $5 million to the state to cover fees and costs, those people said.
The agreement settles a civil fraud case the state filed against Mr. Merkin in April 2009. That case accused Mr. Merkin of deceiving his clients by concealing the fact that he was simply handing their money over to Mr. Madoff, not managing it himself under the parameters set out in their investment agreements.
The only difference between Merkin and Noel is that Noel had $7 billion entrusted to Madoff.
You’ll bend over and like it
Federal TSA agent forgets to plug in metal detector, entire terminal evacuated.
The TSA’s bungling reached a new low yesterday when a JFK Airport terminal had to be evacuated and hundreds of passengers marched back through security screening all because one dimwitted agent failed to realize his metal detector had been unplugged, sources told The Post.
The stunning error led to hours of delays, two planes called back from the runway and infinite frustration for furious passengers.
“The truth is, this is the failure of the most basic level of diligence,” a law-enforcement source said.
“How can you expect the public to feel confident of the mission of the TSA if they don’t even know if the lights are turned on?” [He can rest assured that this incident won't change the public's opinion of the TSA one bit - Ed]
The chaos at Terminal 7 was caused by screener Alija Abdul Majed, who had manned Lane No. 1 during the morning shift with no idea his metal detector had no juice, sources said.
Airport security as practiced in this country has nothing to do with safety or security and everything to do with theatre and giving the false impression that the feds are “doing something”. As an aside, it’s interesting to note that, not only are these ridiculous procedures caused by a refusal to target the most likely pool for terrorists, we hire them too, just to be doubly sure we aren’t discriminating.
I refuse to shop at Whole Foods in Greenwich because of the horribly rude shoppers and their behavior both inside the store and when careening their Lexus SUV’s through the parking lot; in fact, I avoid the Starbucks in that same shopping center for that reason, too, so I’ve tried the new Fairway a few times to find some of the better stuff I can’t find at ShopeRite: bread, olives and cheese, mostly.
Fairways does sell a delicious baguette for just a buck, best bargain around, I like their olives, and their fish is fresh – far fresher than the poor creatures who land in ShopRite weeks after their demise, eyes flat and opaque and a sorrowful look on their face.
But I doubt I’ll be returning because the service is so bad. Today I picked up one of those baguettes and some decent vegetables but the olive oil section was bereft of bread slices, essential for tasting, the Portuguese oil I’d liked before was still prominently advertised but nowhere on the shelves and there was no one around to look for more (and forget getting advice from one of these minimum wagers, even if you could find one – I made that mistake when the store first opened, asking the clerk pretending to be the store olive oil expert which of three varieties he liked best: “they’re all great”, was his non-reply. Moron).
The meat department, usually pricey, offered hanger steak on sale today but coupled that with just one man to take the orders of the seven people in line, so I passed on that deal and headed for the registers. Most were closed, Fairway offers no automated check-outs and the only manned “express Lane” took five minutes to navigate.
Fairway does offer New York style service, but if I wanted that ambience I’d live in Manhattan. As it is, I’ll forego their baguettes and shop elsewhere.
The Official Obama Begging Bowl marking, at least so far, the nadir of his presidency.