Social Security system is solvent, solar energy will meet our needs, and now this:

Scholar and explorer, William Gastric, Greenwich

Scholar and explorer, William Gastric, Greenwich

Ancient unicorn lair uncovered near Pyongyang. 

A report released by the History Institute of the DPRK Academy of Social Sciences claims that archaeologists discovered the lair of the mythical animal just outside a temple in the capital Pyongyang.

And, unsurprisingly, the lair – according to the report – means that Pyongyang was the focal point of an ancient, united Korea.

“This discovery was inevitable”, Greenwich Democrat Charwoman Gastric told reporters. “We used the same exact scientific methods employed in our economic analyses of entitlement benefits, so of course the favorable outcome of this search was completely expected and predictable.”
Gastric also reported that the unicorn was found sleeping underneath a melting glacier and atop the very first Social Security card issued by the United States, in the name of Kim Jong-un and signed by Eleanor Roosevelt herself.

11 Comments

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11 responses to “Social Security system is solvent, solar energy will meet our needs, and now this:

  1. That’s nothing. Kim Jong-il shot 18 holes in one the first time he played golf. I guess he was too busy running the workers paradise and exporting missiles to other dictators to play professionally.

  2. Daniel

    Lets remove the debt ceiling. Print all the money needed to fund entitlements and government. Then do away with all taxes. Problems solved. I love unicorns and rainbows.

  3. Dollar Bill

    Facts are stubborn things to Tea Partiers who live in cuckoo land, I know, but it should be noted that Social Security finished 2011 with a $2.7 trillion surplus. That surplus is almost twice the $1.4 trillion collected in personal and corporate income taxes last year. And it is projected to go on growing until 2021,when the youngest baby boomers turn 67, and qualify for old age benefits.

    Does that sound like a program facing insolvency? Neither do I.

  4. The Social Security “surplus” is an accounting fiction. When the program takes in more than it pays out congress takes them money, spends it, then issues Social Security an IOU. So the money is long gone and all the government has is an IOU from itself, for which the taxpayer is on the hook.

    Gee Bill, I’m a little surprised you didn’t know this.

  5. Dollar Bill

    Richard, the idea that the SS trust fund is a fiction is one of those zombie lies on the right that just never dies, despite the evidence refuting it. A little perspective is in order here. Remember if you will that back in 1983, the payroll tax was deliberately set higher than it needed to be to cover retiree payments. For the next 30 years, the extra money was sent to the Treasury,and this windfall allowed income tax rates to be lower than they otherwise would have been. During this time, people who paid payroll taxes suffered from this arrangement, while people who paid income taxes benefited. Now things are very different. As baby boomers have started to retire, payroll taxes are less than they need to be to cover retiree payments. To make up this shortfall, Treasury is paying back the money it got over the past 30 years, and this means that income taxes need to be higher than they otherwise would be.

    For the next few decades, people who pay payroll taxes –who tend to be poor and middle class — will benefit from this arrangement, while people who pay income taxes –who tend to be upper income and rich–will suffer.

    Now you can say this was never a good arrangement, and you might be right, but a deal is a deal, and the poor and middle class have kept up their part of the bargain for 30 years. Now its time for the rich to keep up their end of the deal. Unless you think those promises were jyst a bunch of worthless IOUs. Too late to renege on this deal, Richard.

  6. Where this departs from reason your assumption that the surplus somehow translated in lower tax rates. I see no historical evidence of that. Pork, yes, lower taxes, no.

    It used to be that the average retiree collected more then they paid in. Not so for people retiring now, thanks in part to all of the other benefits SS pays, like survivor and disability. And if SS is just another entitlement feeding at the trough, why all of this talk about trust funds and lock boxes? Structural changes have been made to the program in the past to keep it solvent and it looks like they will be again. The benefits have never been carved in stone.

  7. Dollar Bill

    SS is not “another entitlement feeding at the trough.”. It’s an earned benefit, one that payroll taxpayers have been paying into for years. We shouldnt be messing with their lives. That’s pure bait and switch. As is not an “entitlement,” if by that you mean some undeserved handout. It’s not! People paid into it, and they deserve what is in essence deferred comp. It shouldnt be taken away.

    If you want to tackle real pork, look elsewhere. Like the Pentagon, which wastes billions upon billions of our taxpayer monies every year, but which CF and his Tea Party comrades believe against all evidence is underfunded, even though its never once passed a federal audit. Our country could chop 30% off the top of war spending, and that would go a long way towards deficit reduction. Also end practice of corporations like GE paying no corporate income taxes. Pure corporate giveaways. That’s real pork, if you ask me. And it costs us plenty!

    • Social Security merely pays back what people put into it? Even you can’t be so ignorant as to believe that. So the bulk of the recipients are getting a handout I agree with you on this much: that’s not an “entitlement”, it’s welfare.

  8. Balzac

    $ Bill:
    Check this out, from the government’s social security website: “The last 5 Trustees Reports have indicated that Social Security’s Old-Age, Survivors, and Disability Insurance (OASDI) Trust Funds would become exhausted between 2036 and 2041…”

    That research took 20 seconds.

    If you think that SS is on a sustainable footing, well then you may just be the only human who thinks so……

  9. Cos Cobber

    Sometimes I get the feeling Dollarbill was upset we fought the axis powers in WWII and stood up to challenge the communists in the cold war given his zeal for economic class warefare and disdain for our military.

    In modern times, which country best fit’s the DB viewpoint: Spain, Greece, Italy or anyone of Putin’s satelite states?