How to do it

Can't improve on the original caption: "now we're going to move into shavasana".

Can’t improve on the original caption: “now we’re going to move into shavasana”.

Man hogties burglar, leaves him in the yard for police to pick up and goes to work.

13 Comments

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13 responses to “How to do it

  1. Okie Fan

    States like Oklahoma get it. They understand the rights of the homeowner, do not bend over like east coast pansies to defer to the criminal. I watched The Pioneer Woman 4th of July episode on Food Network (they live in Oklahoma) and think they have about the neatest life on the planet. They homeschool their four children. Eat meat with abandon from the cattle they raise. The children work hard on the ranch, learn real life lessons, and the best, the family had huge fireworks in their own backyard. One clip from the show showed the children helping dad load boxes of fireworks into their horse trailer, later they showed the youngest using a weed whacker, and two on a utility vehicle who were no more than age ten. Give me parents like that any day who teach children how to use tools, guns, how to ride horses, how to rope. God Bless Oklahoma.

    • With the possible except of Oklahoma, the whole country’s gone soft in the head. My own father taught us boys how to chop down trees with an axe and left us to have fun in our woods – I was no more than ten at the time and today, he’d have been arrested for child endangerment. And on and on. We’re raising a generation of indoor-dwelling video/texting scared little people who will grow up to pass on that timidity to their children. In fact, I saw the change in the younger siblings of my own peers, that’s how quickly the transformation took place. Not only do we have a mommy state, most young adults and their children today want one.

      • Okie Fan

        The question I have is what triggered the mommy state? Where did we go wrong? Whose to blame? And its not just a mommy state, its a politically correct mommy state. To prove my point, go see the new movie The Lone Ranger. It is filmed through the eyes of Tonto, played by Johnny Depp. Depp said he wanted to right the wrongs of Indians, portray Tonto not as TLR’s slave, but as his equal, or the one in charge. I watched TLR as a child, never once stopped to think that Tonto was anything but TLRs equal. My brothers and I played cowboys and Indians and I always wanted to be the Indian, with the cool feathers. Does anyone play cowboys and Indians with their kids now? A kid would probably make front page news if he was sent to school for Halloween in an Indian costume.Not in a good way.

        Life is crap for kids today and pansy parents make it worse by telling them they need to love everyone and that everyone is their equal. Couldn’t be more wrong. If everyone is equal, why strive for betterment, why set yourself apart? The message today’s kids are getting is killing the country.

        • TheWizard

          I think what triggered it is the entitlement mentality that came along with the war on poverty. People think they are “owed” safety along with a couple hundred other things.

        • I never saw Tonto as a slave, either, but the masked man was definitely the one in charge. The name “Lone Ranger” always bothered me, though, because he always had Tonto with him, which seemed to contradict the “lone” part of the title. That is, until I recently saw the very first episode — he was the lone survivor of a group of Texas Rangers who were led into an ambush by one of their own. I’ll refrain from further spoilers, but the first episode is important to understanding so much of the show.

          And no, I don’t think kids can play cowboys and Indians any more, although genocidal racist sexist homophobic environment-destroying oppressors and Native Americans may be permissible — as long as the Native Americans win. On the other hand, I have no sympathy at all for Custer.

          I think I’m offended by the very idea of a Lone Ranger “reboot” (as opposed to “remake”, the term “reboot” seems to mean stealing the names of established fictional characters, and maybe bits of the general setting, and telling a completely different story about completely different people), but it does seem to have provided a bit of unintentional comedy over at the LA Times with this headline: “Review: Not even Johnny Depp can rescue ‘The Lone Ranger’ “. Get it? They think the movie tanked despite the presence of Johnny Depp! I’m not sure if even Walt is that funny (sorry, Walt, but it is a close call).

        • Flash Forward

          You think America is pussy-whipped nos, just wait fir ten first woman president.

      • Anonymous

        womens lib….otherwisw known as the war on men…….triple whammy on caucaision men.

  2. Walt

    Dude –
    I just picked up the mail, you little lemon headed loser. Many thanks!! I will actually read it, and brunch is on me. Pick a spot.
    You frigging weasel.
    Your Pal,
    Walt

    • Well I worried, because there are no pictures, but I figured maybe one of the fillies could read it to you.

    • Anon

      The first draft of Chris’s new book?
      A contract from The Comedy Channel for The Walt Show?
      A letter from the NSA demanding Chris to release Walt’s IP and email info?

      Inquiring minds are inquiring.

  3. David Smith

    Did the homeowner put the (suspected) felon under arrest before detaining him and did he properly Mirandize him.

    Otherwise, any compet . . . any lawyer can argue illegal detention, assault, battery, etc. AND if he moved him more than 4 feet – kidnap. (law I am familiar with).

    • My guess is that if the burglar brought a case before an Oklahoman jury he’d get worse than hogtied. In NYC, of course, he’d be awarded millions in damages.