Tag Archives: Jon Heinemann

The sad decline of the Metropolitan Club

This space for let: Metropolitan Club, NYC

This space for let: Metropolitan Club, NYC

There was a time, not so long ago, when the Metropolitan Club in New York was a high class joint, with an exclusive membership and a strict rule against publication, especially on the internet, of the goings on of its members. Now that’s all gone and not surprisingly, it’s everyone’s favorite parvenu Michelle-Marie Heinemann who’s helped kick it over the cliff.

Here’s her report on a Christmas Ball held there last week, at which she was guest of poor old Paula Timmerman, who should know better. If there is now any difference between the Metropolitan Club’s parties and one of those pay-by-the-hour staged soirees put on by publicity rags like “Black Tie Magazine” and “Fairfield County Look”,  I can’t see it. What a shame.

(UPDATE) Just noticed in her blog that she’s threatening to do the same thing at the Everglades Club when befuddled Paula sneaks her in there next year. I suspect that unless that club joins the Metropolitan in its desperate quest for publicity (and so far, it has most emphatically not) Michelle-Marie will be tossed out on her liposuctioned rear the moment she tries to horn in, camera in hand, on a member’s conversation.

On Friday I attended the Metropolitan Club Christmas Ball, it was splendid as always. My hostess was the beautiful and gracious Paula Timmerman. We have sat through many dances together, chatting about our lives and all that we are doing.
Paula has the most adorable little doggie that my children just love.

 

It's all about me - and this gawky green giant

It’s all about me!

Here's Paula, Jay and our bus boy - Paula was wonderful to let him join her in the picture

Here’s Paula, Jay and our bus boy – Paula was wonderful to let him join them in the picture

I'm just glad I brought my Instamatic!

I’m just SO  glad I brought my Instamatic!

Me me me!

Me me me!

No, I don't know Catherine and Ray Bacon, but aren't they just adorable?

No, I don’t know Cathy and Ray Bacon, but aren’t they just adorable?

Here's my admirer Tony Lo Bianco - I'll be singing with him in Palm Beach next month!

Here’s my admirer Tony Lo Bianco – I’ll be singing with him in Palm Beach next month!

One classy dame: Mrs Soloway certainly likes me!

One classy dame: Mrs Soloway certainly likes me! Funny that she’s married to the Burglar Alarm King but is still willing to stand next to me – remind me not to use her hubby’s services! (to be fair, Ms. Soloway can be seen tightly clutching her purse, away from MM – Ed)

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Page Six, FWIW edition

The Heinemanns find alternative dining at Louigie's - "we wanted to eat here all along - it's where all our Greenwich friends dine!"

The Heinemanns find alternative dining at Louigie’s Sloppy Seconds – “we really wanted to eat here all along – it’s where all our Greenwich friends dine!”

A friend in NYC tells me that Michelle-Marie Heinemann and her brood were tossed out of Swifty’s last night. It seems Michelle-Marie, tag-along husband Jon and Little Lord Fauntleroy showed up without reservations and made such a fuss when they encountered resistance to being seated that they were (firmly) asked to leave.

We’ll have to wait to see if the paid publicist Michelle-Marie retains will submit this to the press but in the meantime, you read it here first.

I'm broadcasting from a dark closet at Swifty's so that I can tell you all about the cruel, cruel things those people said to me

I’m broadcasting from a dark closet here at Swifty’s so that I can tell you all about the cruel, cruel things those people said to me

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Okay Walt, who loves ya, baby?

Michelle-Marie Hienemann’s CD “Garden Party” arrived from Amazon and although I have not yet had an opportunity to actually listen to it, one look at the album art and I knew I just had to share these- with the world, certainly, but especially with Walt. Without further ado …

Knee socks porn

Knee socks porn

Michelle-Marie does the convent garden

Michelle-Marie does the convent garden boogie

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Well okay, then, now I understand why the Heinemanns are so upset with St. John the Devine

Hudson Cornelius Heinemann holds chair for his betters

Hudson Cornelius Heinemann holds chair for his betters

Law suit complaint found here. Replete with all the events that caused Michelle-Marie, Jon and yes, Hudson - especially Hudson! to suffer such emotional harm and grief. Art work rarely sent home with the chauffeur, vague kindergarten report cards and even allegations that none of the other reindeer would let Hudson join in all their reindeer games.

Frankly, I’m surprised the Heinemanns showed such restraint in limiting their claim to less than $500,000 – just the one incident where Hudson was required to hold the door for other students must have caused harm well into the millions and there’s more, far, far more. Shocking.

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Finally, a Greenwich connection for Michelle (sort of)

Jon & Michelle Marie Heinemann Wappinger Falls, New York 35 x 46 oil on canvas

Jon & Michelle Marie Heinemann
Wappinger Falls, New York
35 x 46 oil on canvas

Reader Flash sends along this by Greenwich portrait artist Ed Salazar. I’ll admit to ignorance about the New York State social scene, but identifying oneself as from “Wappinger Falls” strikes me as about as prestigious as claiming to be “Jon and Michelle-Marie Heinemann, Port Chester, New York”.

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So okay, who is Hudson Cornelius’s father?

Who is Michelle’s fourth husband, Jon, and what’s he do for a living? Google says he runs OPM (Other People’s Money), and that’s a nice thing to do for folks. But I’m a little confused by the firm’s website, which boasts that it’s been “building and securing family wealth for generations”, while admitting that Jon put the firm together in 2010. Even the flies of summer live longer generations, don’t they?

And then there’s this explanation of the fund’s “strategy”: Doesn’t that sound exactly like the Madoff strategy? I don’t think that worked out so well, did it Walt? Walter?

Odd that there is nothing about the principal or any associates of Jon Hinemann on his firm’s site. Nothing, as in “none”. No bio, no resume, no picture, even. Wouldn’t you want to know something about who you’re entrusting your family’s wealth for generations to? Odd.

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