Want your money back? Forget it, chump. Actually, the poor schnook who received the letter I link to is lucky, in that maybe, someday, if the hedge funds CitiCorp invested with on his behalf ever change their minds, he might get some of his money back. I’m friends with a former banker who said his absolute worst job as a young banker was to write “Dear Customer, please be advised that your trust no longer meets this bank’s minimum financial standards and you’ll have to take your business elsewhere” letters. He would be assigned this duty after his betters in the Trust Department had mismanaged and frittered away huge sums, all while collecting generous management fees for their oversight. My friend says he didn’t mind writing the letters so much as dreading the unhinged phone calls he’d get upon their receipt.