They’ve banned light bulbs and coal – now they want us to wipe our asses with pine cones

The holy roller church of global warming and human starvation has a new target: toilet paper. Unlike our Arab neighbors, Americans use paper instead of their left hand to clean their bottoms and the eco-freaks have just discovered that paper comes from trees! That’s right, those warm, fuzzy tall things that provide shelter to spotted owls and nesting protestors are being cut down for human comfort. Can’t have that, so let’s just stop it, right now!

A few things that the eco-freaks don’t know, or ignore: paper is made from cultivated trees. “Virgin timber”, which they claim is being chopped up into little rolls of tp is far too valuable to waste on such a low-cost product; trees are harvested by human beings, who live on what they earn and support families and small rural towns with those earnings. When you shut down logging, you shut down rural America. The eco-freaks have mostly accomplished this in northern California and would have succeeded completely if the nearly-depopulated Humbolt County hadn’t become the largest pot growing area in America. The eco-freaks see nothing wrong with that transformation, others might.

But the eco-freaks hate humans and civilization so these arguments won’t sway them, any more than the idea of using sand, sticks and dirt to clean up with will dissuade them. We’re supposed to die off and bring Eden back with our demise; if we’re uncomfortable while waiting for that terminal flush, so much the better.

This is all getting more interesting by the day.


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5 responses to “They’ve banned light bulbs and coal – now they want us to wipe our asses with pine cones

  1. Peg

    $30 million for a mouse:

    $7,500 toward scholarships for D.C. kids (in contrast to $14K for crummy schools?) – nixed.

    You’re right, Chris. I think that they simply despise humans.

  2. greenmtnpunter

    This Obama Admin inspires thoughts of our heritage and the founding Patriots in their valiant struggle against tyranny, immortalized in Longfellow’s classic poem:

    “…Ready to ride and spread the alarm, through every Middlesex village and farm, for the country folk to be up and to arm.”

    And the last few verses send the same message to today’s Patriots:

    Through all our history, to the last,
    In the hour of darkness and peril and need,
    The people will waken and listen to hear
    The hurrying hoof-beat of that steed,
    And the midnight-message of Paul Revere.

    Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, 1860.

    • christopherfountain

      I’m printing your screed, Green Mountain, because it’s just that kind of blog but you should know that we’re mostly Giants fans down this way!

  3. greenmtnpunter

    Nobody’s perfect!

  4. pulled up in OG

    Better bring your own if you’re flyin’ on Ryanair.
    And a pocketful of quarters/shillings/euros??

    Ryanair mulls charge for toilets: