My Five Year Plan

Hey, if Obama can do it, why not me? Reader OGRCC’s position that if you take money from US taxpayers you relinquish the right to govern your own affairs got me thinking. That’s not an unreasonable point OG makes, but let’s extend it. Take, for instance, this picture of young Europeans at play, copied from today’s New York Times:

Mao forever!

Mao forever!

The accompanying article says that Europe won’t supply more troops for Afghanistan, but that’s no loss – most NATO countries that have sent troops there did so with the express provision that they wouldn’t fight, so who needs them? And who needs NATO? We give them money, they won’t do as we ask, OGRCC and I are together on this: U.S. out of NATO, now!

The United Nations? We’re gone in sixty seconds.

Foreign aid to Africa? You’ve got to be friggin’ kidding me. Those dictators’ Swiss bank accounts are fat enough. Cut them off.

Is there room in this plan of donor control to address domestic policy? You bet there is:

Welfare recipients: if you’re single, under 25 and a high school drop out, no kids for you, ma’am. Abort or adoption, your choice, but no more mouths for taxpayers to feed. And all of you, regardless of age, will return to school. Maintain at least a C average and graduate from high school and obtain at least a two-year college degree or no bucks for you. Did I mention the mandatory weekly drug and alcohol testing? I just did. And if you’re not in school, you’ll be working to payback your debt to society. Possible replacing some of those municipal works mentioned next.

Municipal and state workers: We taxpayers will decide how many of you it takes to screw in a light bulb, not your union. And let’s talk about those pensions. Teachers are municipal workers and shall be treated as such, under my plan.

Social Security recipients:  Hey Granny, you’ve already collected 1000 X more than you put in the system, so it’s off the shuffleboard court and back to work. You can babysit all those illegitimate children while their mommas are earning their GREs. Granpa, I see litter around that fountain you’re lounging in front of – pick it up!

There’s more, of course; much more, but if we implemented just these improvements we’d save enough money that we could cut taxes to the bone, allow people to keep most of what they earn and no one would need the government dole. Result? More freedom and, as government withered away, fewer politicians. I don’t know what we’ll do with Chris Dodd, but maybe Granpa will need some help with that litter.


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5 responses to “My Five Year Plan

  1. anonymous

    Would also legalize drugs and prostitution; tax ’em and cut income taxes and capital gains taxes on “legitimate” work; will save billions in wasted law enforcement and prisons

    Ration immigration into US to those who can invest significant capital or gain engineering or science grad school admission to one of US’ top 20 univs

    Provide those who choose risky or unhealthy lifestyles the right to die early if they lack ability to pay for own healthcare…far cheaper than wasting taxpayer billions on healthcare for easily avoidable diseases like AIDS, lung cancer, obesity/diabetes, etc

    Suspect cheapest solution for much of crime, welfare and chronic health issues is via forced sterilization of criminals

    Allow one vote per dollar of taxes paid in last 3 yrs; taxation with representation, right?

  2. Riverside Dog Walker

    With some pointers from Ned Lamont, maybe you take Dodd’s seat. If you haven’t read the chapters on how government really works in Washington in Matt Taibbi’s hysterical book “The Great Derangement, ” I highly recommend them.

  3. pulled up in OG

    Somethin’ wrong with trickle-down reform?

    Or was that a one-way street/theory?

  4. fred

    remove all ex lawyers from the ct. husky rolls.

    • christopherfountain

      In fact Fred, from what I read, the Husky program desperately wants more people like me to sign up for it – I’ve paid thousands for what is essentially a one-time, catastrophic insurance plan (capped at $100,000 lifetime, so that’s one good hospital stay) and don’t use any of their other services. But what they have instead is too many people paying the minimum premium and usig the maximum of services. To come close to solvency, they are encouraging people with income to sign up. Maybe you?