New defense witness in Bourke trial

We have just learned that Frederic Bourke of Greenwich will be calling Stephen Dido Dent, also of Greenwich, as a defense witness in Bourke’s upcoming trial for bribery. Dent is expected to testify that, even if Bourke and his co-conspirator hired prostitutes while in Azerbaijan as alleged by the prosecution, there is nothing particularly immoral or wrong with such activity.

“Busy, successful businessmen need to unwind,” Dent told this reporter, “and we often just don’t have the time to establish the level of intimacy with our wives that would encourage the sexual activity we crave. I mean, how often does your wife agree to dress in black latex, strap on various appendages and go at you with a riding crop? Sometimes, it’s just easier to pay a lady and be assured of getting exactly what you deserve. If that’s what Freddy did, so what? And if he likes to carry those purses his partner Peter designs, so what again? A man’s got to have a little fun on this world or why bother inheriting?”

Mr. Bourke is out in Aspen running down hikers with his SUV and was unavailable for comment.


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6 responses to “New defense witness in Bourke trial

  1. Do you have a link for the Dent quote? Not that I’m skeptical, but that level of stupidity is hard to fathom.

    • christopherfountain

      No Richard, no link – I make some of ths stuff up. But I’m sure he would have said it, if asked, so I, like Dan Rather, will defend the “truthiness” of the quote.

  2. anonymous

    LOL; the real reason many guys prefer business trips to London or Geneva, etc over trips in prude US

  3. Bourke Wild Daughter

    This filly rumored to have married a kissing cousin. Keep all that Ford dough in the family. What is left of Ford stock?

  4. Walt

    I was going to quit anyway. So there. Greenwich snobs!!
    Your Pal,

  5. Ah, fake but accurate. Gotcha.

    Have you considered a career in the mainstream media, Chris?