Walt Noel may not be available for that bartender’s gig at BJ O’Rourke’s

I’ve been pretty excited about Walt Noel’s plan to open BJ’s Pub, especially since he’s promised me a job busing tables. But now I see that the Geneva (that would be in Switzerland, not upstate New York) public prosecutor has opened a criminal investigation into Banco Santander’s role as a Madoff feeder fund. The areas of investigation: failure to conduct due diligence and turning a blind eye to Bernie’s evil ways, sound exactly like what Walter’s Fairfield Greenwich Group is accused of. It’s possible that what is criminal in the land of chocolate is not illegal in the US – mere negligence, for instance, is not – but if that lovable son-in-law Andres sold FGG “investments” over there,and I believe he did, then this could be a worrisome development.

Of course, the prosecutor says it will take “at least two years” to complete his investigation and, at 78, Walter may very well not be around to hear the results. I don’t wish you ill, Walt, but you might be more comfortable in a 2X8 box than a 6X12 room. Just saying ….

6 Comments

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6 responses to “Walt Noel may not be available for that bartender’s gig at BJ O’Rourke’s

  1. that's deep

    putting mr. noel 6 feet under is getting a bit cruel, you fool-lay off our walter!

  2. Mouse

    Walt’s a tall guy, right?

    If Monica and the girls insist on cutting too many corners, they may end up with a rather unsavory result:

    AP and WAGT
    Published: June 10, 2009

    UPDATE

    A judge has decided a South Carolina funeral home where a worker was accused of cutting a corpse’s legs so he would fit in a casket can remain open as it appeals the revocation of its license.

    The order issued Tuesday says funeral director Michael Cave and Cave Funeral Home in Allendale could suffer irreparable harm if they have to stay closed until the state Administrative Law Court can hear an appeal next week.

    The state Funeral Board revoked Cave’s license on June 1 after he admitted an employee used an electric saw to cut the legs of 6-foot-7 James Hines after he died in 2004.

    Hines’ widow says Cave apologized to her at that board hearing.

  3. Jessica From Brooklyn

    • So now even the Swiss may be after Walter and the sons-in-law. What fun they could all have in prison over there! Don’t drop the soap Walt! However, they will live a fine life over there and well could end up staying once the prison terms are up. Lord knows with all the money the Noel crowd has stashed in those numbered Swiss accounts, they’ll live like kings….you know….just like they are living right now. Happily, the Swiss are not known for giving long prison terms. A few months and the whole gang will be hitting the slopes!
    • Odd – Four of the Noel girls have reportedly bedded the same guy. Given the age differences of the girls, this does seem a bit far-fetched. Yet, there has been no denial of this officially or unofficially (at least that this poor scribe has seen). Such an accusation could be the possible basis of a lawsuit if untrue and done with “malice aforethought.” Yet, again, no response from the Noel crowd. What could be the reason for this lack of response? A major reason could be that the rumor is true. That should make the four hubbies feel VERY special! Now, who is the guy and how much will some publication have to pay him to provide the details? Do you suppose he’d rank the bedded mares? Will DNA tests on the “golden” children be next?
    • Marisa – I do hope someone gets some pictures of Marisa selling her glass rings. She is going to have to sell a bunch of those rings to pay off the “hellhounds” on the trail of her family. It might be “revealing” for someone to ask some “interesting” questions of Marisa while she is out in public.
    • Where is Walt these days? Could he have been spotted at a condo inhabited by one Ruth Madoff? They do have a great deal in common….

    Jessica

  4. Fake Walt

    A 2×8 box? Come on CF give me more credit. I am going to need a much larger box to accomodate my garguantuan cojones. By the time the authorities realize what hit them, I will be sipping mojitos and sailing the seven seas on my new Yacht which is undergoing finishing touches at an undisclosed shipyard.

    Off to Anguila

    Kind Regards,

    Fake Walt

  5. Wally

    Wow – some of the posters here are really bitter. As my teenage kids would say, real “B-I’s”.

  6. Anonymous

    Wally,
    JfB sounds a lot like a certain reckless Mrs. Panstreppon posting over at the TPM.

    Please adjust your tinfoil hat accordingly.

    P.S. I’m pretty sure your kids say “real biyatchs” outside of your hearing.