We’re going to keep at this until we get it right

Admitting utter failure in solving homicides in Greenwich, Police Chief Ridberg has announced a new “back to basics campaign.”

Following a focus of its efforts on enforcing state seat belt laws last month, the Greenwich Police Department is focusing on red light violations in June. Patrol officers and the Traffic Enforcement Unit will be concentrating their efforts across town to enforce signal lights. Violations carry a $124 fine.

“We did cellphones in April, seatbelts in May and now we’re onto red lights,” Ridberg said at a news conference today. “We moving up the ladder in degrees of difficulty. By the time school starts in September we’ll be ready to tackle enforcing helmet laws on those kids riding their bikes to Central Middle. As we go along, our patrol men will gain confidence in themselves and their problem solving abilities. The finale to all this is a retreat we’ll be attending in October – the whole force, to upstate Connecticut ,where we’ll practice falling into each other’s arms, building rope bridges and singing Kumbaya round a real campfire. By November, Murder, Inc. better watch out – Greenwich won’t be the whipping boy for those guys ever again.”

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One response to “We’re going to keep at this until we get it right

  1. edgewater

    before the cops get tough on lawbreakers, they should learn to obey the law themselves. when is the last time you saw a cop using a turn signal while driving? not using turn signals is almost as much a part of the cop culture as dark glasses.