Susan Nova, Greenwich Times hard hitting real estate reporter has a full expose today on the Steamboat Road “Oneida” condos, known affectionately to locals as Porky Manero’s II. Frankly I’m surprised that Greenwich Time, so thoroughly dependent on real estate advertising for what’s left of its revenue, would permit this kind of scandalous information to be printed but I guess journalistic integrity won out, and good for them.
Nova reveals that Oneida is named after three different previous incarnations. The Oneida Indian Tribe, the rather hapless branch of Iroquois who, aside from specializing in torturing captives, accomplished little during their time in this country. They foolishly sided with the Colonists during the Revolution when their brethren went with the British and, ironically enough, had to flee to Canada after the war. Hardly inspirational.
Most exciting, perhaps, is the second Oneida, the communist community in Upstate New York that practiced free love, no marriage and promoted sexual intercourse between all members (so to speak). Again, an odd sort of choice to name a condominium project after, unless it is designed to attract swingers.
Odder still, perhaps, is the third Oneida, which Nova points out was ” the 200-foot Oneida that President Grover Cleveland had surgery to remove a malignant tumor from his jaw.” What that really entailed was knocking out teeth and digging out the roof of the mouth up to the poor guy’s eyeballs and I don’t know about you but I wouldn’t like the idea of staring put to sea from my $8 million unit and thinking about surgeons, scalpels and blood. I prefer to reflect on those frisky commie lasses, thank you very much. Of course, because the view is blocked by the now-vacant Greenwich Capital building, the issue is moot, but still.
Is there anywhere one can see the water from these units? Nova says there is; or I think she does:
Beyond the all-glass atrium ceiling on the topmost level is the roof deck vaunting direct harbor views and an elaborate outdoor kitchen, with natural stone counters, ice maker, beverage center and Viking professional grill and rotisserie. There are two outdoor flat-screen TVs, a hot tub and space to wine and dine an extensive guest list.
I’m just guessing here, but I believe Nova employs the word “vaunting” to mean “boasting” and I suppose that’s okay, maybe. But for all that money, do I really want to have to climb up to my roof to see the Grass Island Sewer Plant? Perhaps not.