Why should I be the only one to get crank emails?

Why would Chris do this to me?

Why would Chris do this to me?

My cousin Henry is answering science questions over at the New York Times. But for heavens’ sake, don’t restrict yourself to questions about science – Henry knows everything and will be happy to tell you so. And if by some miracle you manage to stump him his son Walker, who really does know everything, will answer for him. So go for it – how long should grits simmer? If God is  omnipotent, can he make a rock so big he can’t move it? What if Superman had fought for the Nazis? Henry’s ready for all comers.

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5 responses to “Why should I be the only one to get crank emails?

  1. AnthonyFountain

    Dad told me Uncle Gerard (Henry’s father), when a mere boy, flummoxed the Sunday school teacher when he asked him that same question about God creating rock so big he couldn’t move it.

    • christopherfountain

      Yes well now that he’s had two generations to ponder the question, perhaps he’s come up with an answer.

  2. Fake Walt

    Here’s a question:

    When the stock market closes at the end of the day, why does everyone stand around smiling and clapping regardless of whether the stocks are up or down?

    Off to Ibiza

    Kind Regards,

    Fake Walt

  3. Walt

    Chris, Chris, Chris -
    These are the questions you ponder Weasel Boy? Come on, even you can do better than that. So here are the answers to your ponderings:
    Grits – 30 to 40 minutes. No longer. I grew up on these, and Monica doesn’t know a frying pan from a flounder, so I still make them every Sunday for the Filly’s.
    The God/Rock question – This is a lay up Dude. The answer is God can make a rock so big, he can’t lift it. But a mili second after he hits the send button, he gains the ability to lift it. So he could build another one, but why would he want to?
    Superman/Nazi Question – This is impossible. Superman grew up in Smallville, Kansas, the bible belt and very anti-Nazi. So why would he become a traitor? But if he did, the answer would be we would all be speaking German and driving VW’s.
    I hope that helps. Here are some better questions -
    If I play tic tac toe with God, and he doesn’t cheat, could he beat me if I always get to go first? THAT is a hard one.
    Why do we find farts funny? And why do we like how ours smell, but hate every one else’s? Does God have a sense of humor too, and he just likes all the great fart jokes? Dunno.
    How long do “real estate professionals” and lawyers have to spend in purgatory to be forgiven for their sins? (I will ask that one for you, Dude. I could care less but I am pretty sure its eons)
    Riddle me that BATMAN!! THOSE are good questions.
    OFF TO DINNER!!!!
    Your Pal,
    Walt