Walt Noel should be so lucky

Bernie Madoff’s Montauk house, asking $9 million, has already sold after “a fast and furious bidding war” to an all-cash buyer. That’s excellent news for most of his victims but can his biggest loser, self-described Madoff victim himself, Walter Noel, expect the same kind of action when he’s forced to sell his Round Hill home? Not a chance, for several reasons: first, he lacks the notoriety – Bernie was an evil genius, or at least evil, while Walt’s claim to be just a bumbling idiot is beginning to ring true. Second, the Madoff place is direct ocean waterfront. Sure it will be washed away in ten years or so, but there’s no way you could build in such a vulnerable location today and, until the sea does its work, the new owner will have the best views in town. Walter’s place is a tired old dump with a view of the road, period.

So sorry, Walt, but I don’t think you can count on the proceeds from 175 Round Hill doing much to get you out from under this mess. Have you checked the extradition treaty of Mustique?


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5 responses to “Walt Noel should be so lucky

  1. Fake Walt

    My Round Hill Cottage is much valuable more than you think. I am sure there are many people out there who would love to own a piece of Noel history. The bedroom where the 5 fillys were conceived could be turned into a profitable museum. You should run some numbers with that hack “Walt” and get back to me. Heck I’ll even throw in the stable.

    Moving to Mustique is out of the question. Monica says it is social suicide. My plan is to liquidate every property except for my Hamptons pad where I plan to enjoy my golden years while retaining my social standing. I challenge your readers to come up with a better plan.

    Off to St. Tropez

    Kind Regards,

    Fake Walt

  2. InfoDiva

    Spectacular setting with an awfully dated house.

  3. Walt

    Dude –
    It is Mr. Bumbling Idiot to you. The Round Hill house is not for sale. The Filly’s and their foals will be grazing there for years to come.
    You load.
    Your Pal,

  4. Missy

    Anyone who is anyone knows the only house – in the US anyway – poor Monica will be able to hold on to is the Palm Beach homesteaded mid island relatively modest one. Poor Monica. And after she got me all those decorating jobs. You haven’t told your readers what’s going on with Johnny and my place in a while, by the way.

  5. So Jeffrey Epstein’s new nickname (given the circumstances) is now the “Eggman!” What has ole’ Walt’s nickname morphed into? Something like: “The Round Hill Squealer (as from ole Walt to his many investors: “Now, bend over and squeal like a pig!”)?