Oh oh, Ohio!

Man caught having sex with a picnic table gets six months in jail. Must not have been represented by David Justin Lynch, Esq.


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10 responses to “Oh oh, Ohio!

  1. Anonymous

    “Disseminating harmful material to juveniles…”? Shouldn’t whoever recorded the DVDs be the one accused of that? This guy was in his own home.

    Whatever happened to the concept that a man in his own home should be as safe as a king in his castle? Can you imagine a king being prosecuted for having sex with his own table?

    “He tilts the metal round picnic table on its side and lays up against it and has sexual intercourse with the table.” Most so-called journalists these days aren’t capable of differentiating between the two simple verbs “lie” and “lay.” That is the real crime here.

  2. Gideon Fountain

    Do picnic tables get lawyers, too?

  3. Priapus

    It’s Ohio for goodness sakes, there’s a chance that picnic table was the hottest thing available in the state. And what’s the big deal, she obviously was askin’ for it.

    Pam and Tommy Lee have a tape. Paris has a tape. Why not “the Ohio player”, “life’s no picnic”, or “Ohio gone wild”?

  4. Anonymous

    This inmate will be a true asset to the Ohio penal population.

  5. Anonymous

    anon @ 9:30.

    Come on, grammar-man, lighten up. The guy got laid. The table was also laid upon.

  6. dogwalker

    Shouldn’t the guy who made the DVD be under arrest for voyeurism?

    Some of the comments on the article are marvelous . . . brightened up a dreary day . . . thanks.

  7. Anonymous

    Look – Let’s keep our verbs straight.

    If the perp had stuck to less deviant positions, he would lay on the table.

    But no, he had to get fancy with up-against-the wall positions. That was a bad lie, as they say in golf.

    Once he was filmed, he had to lay low.

    After being reported, he had to lie.

    When that didn’t work, he received jail time for lying, laying and having lain.

  8. Old School Grump

    Anonymous at 1:26: That was hilarious!

  9. Priapus

    “if the table fits, you must acquit”.

  10. Greenwich Gal

    I guess it all gives new meaning to the term “hard up…”