I hate to give Chief Ridberg ideas but …

Is that a taser in your holster, officer, or are you just glad to see me?

In Greenwich, we usually send our cops to get their own blow jobs from the Korean massage parlors in town, but here’s an entertaining story from Pennsylvania, where the cops supplied money to an independent under-the-covers informant and let him have all the fun. I’m thinking that our Chief might want to provide a little distance between his troops and the whores, now that we have a new set of commanders and, supposedly, a regime transformation under way.


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7 responses to “I hate to give Chief Ridberg ideas but …

  1. Retired IB'er

    Hey Chris,

    Maybe you should moonlight for extra cash (given the slow r. e. market) giving classes on how to mine the internet for “gold”. How DO you find this stuff…

    I bow down to you in awe as one who, himself, spends too much time on the internet. I read boring financial prattle until my eyes glaze over, while you, sir, find interesting glimpses into American life.

    Well done, well done indeed.

    • Thanks, IB’er. I think you’re missing out on the fun because you insist on reading financial stuff. It’s all fixed anyway, so give it up and go for the gusto! What’s the worst that can happen? I mean, it’s not as though Patriot Bank is going to foreclose on your Conyers Farm home, right?

  2. Walt

    Dude –
    I thought you could only get a rub and a tug? I didn’t know lip service was available. The Fed’s selling the post office are out of towners, so make sure you low ball our first offer.
    Why isn’t this a good idea? If you don’t pay taxes, you can’t vote. I read 47% of the folks in the country don’t pay taxes. That is insane.
    So I think these are all good ideas. We can call it High Beems. Subdivide it, and put Rubs & Suds on the other side. I am liking this idea, Dude Man.
    Your Pal,

    • Walt, at the risk of exposing myself as the naive Riversider I am, I’ll confess to a lack of intimate knowledge of what massage parlors offer. But my favorite (true) story is one dating back to maybe the early 90s when every single GPD patrol car on duty one night responded to a robbery at the Korean whore house above that chicken place on the Post Road in OG – Boston Garden? Boston Chicken? Whatever- turns out a gang from the housing complex behind it (Adams Gardens?) invaded and robbed the patrons, one of whom, a Greenwich police officer, confronted them wearing only a towel and brandishing his gun and his badge. They kids knocked him down, stole the gun and badge and fled. Something like 18 patrol cars responded and rounded up every black kid in the Gardens until they’d retrieved the badge (the gun, my sources told me, was of secondary concern).
      Greenwich Time spiked that story faster than the Vatican does pedophilia tales, but the memory lingers on. Fun stuff, in the old days.

  3. Retired IB'er

    I am a man of much more modest tastes, and means, than you give me credit: which, by the way, is the only credit I avail myself of believing completely in the “neither a lender nor a borrower be”. So no worries on the Patriot Bank front…

  4. Walt

    Dude –
    That is a good story. But if you are so naive on this topic, why is there a signed head shot of you in “Mama San’s I Ruv You Rong Time” in Cos Cob? Just wondering.
    And on the menu is the “Chris Fountain I can Make him stop bitching” $195 dollar special? Huh? HUH!!!
    You dawg.
    Your Pal,

  5. Anonymous

    nice pic….miso horny…Chris you so big…this is my first time….i swear