“The Ministry of Silly Bans”

Danger, Will Robinson, danger!

Our children are ruled by idiots. From S. T. Karnick

From our fast-growing “Oh, for #@*’s sake!” file: schools around the nation are banning Silly Bandz, those amusing, inexpensive, rubber wristbands that have become immensely popular among the nation’s children.

This is conclusive proof, if any were yet needed, that the people who run America’s schools hate kids and are utterly power-mad. Time magazine reports:

The Bandz are now contraband. Schools in several states, including New York, Texas, Florida and Massachusetts, have blacklisted Silly Bandz, those stretchy, colorful bracelets that are creeping up the forearms of school kids across the U.S. And starting this week, all 800-some kids at my son’s elementary school in Raleigh, N.C., were commanded to leave at home their collections of rubber band–like bracelets, which retail for about $5 per pack of 24. What could possibly be so insidious about a cheap silicone bracelet?

“It’s a distraction,” says Jill Wolborsky, a fourth-grade teacher at my son’s school, who banned them from her classroom before the principal implemented a schoolwide ban. One student stole some confiscated Bandz from her desk, choosing them over the cash in her drawer.

Students fiddle with them during class and arrange swaps — trading, say, a bracelet with a mermaid for one with a dragon — when they should be concentrating on schoolwork, teachers say. Sometimes a trade goes bad — kids get buyer’s remorse too — and hard feelings, maybe even scuffles, ensue.

Astonishing! Kids distracted during school? Fiddling with things? Feelings getting hurt? Scuffles ensuing?

Obviously the nation’s educators would be much more comfortable teaching robots, or potted plants.

It’s a never-ending power struggle for “educators”. In the Sixties, they were freaking out over white vinyl go-go boots on girls and tight corduroys and long hair on boys. Every year brings a new fad that drives these autocrats nuts – and in large part, isn’t that the purpose of indulging in them? But fads come and go. By the time our educators eradicate this threat to western civilization it will have already passed and a new threat will loom. The constant vigilance keeps them busy, I suppose.


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13 responses to ““The Ministry of Silly Bans”

  1. just_looking

    Yet another example of Unpreparing kids for a real life.

  2. Anonymous

    Inept parents and unions at work
    Kids who can’t read or count or get a decent job despite their $250K Harvard English degree and/or $250K HS diploma from Dalton or Spence…natural selection and mean reversion I suppose

  3. I used to be proud to be a teacher. This type of nonsense is unspeakable. I am sick at heart.

  4. Demmerkrat Patriot

    Parents don’t want to parent, so they let the schools do it for them.

    Teachers don’t want to discipline, so they get a school board to ban something innocuous.

    And the rest of us are expected to support this idiocy like good sheeple.

    Common sense has left … and we supposedly “edu-ma-kate” these kids. But what do they learn? Isn’t conflict resolution a good skill to have before leaving high school? What are they prepared for?

  5. Old School Grump

    The surest way to make something completely irresistible to children (and plenty of adults as well) is to make it verboten. Whoever manufactures these things could not have planned it better!

  6. Red

    And on the local front – today a mom told me that Brunswick School has banned those bracelets too.

  7. diva4ever

    My daughter came home on Friday with a weekly bulletin from school. The Greenwich schools are now spearheading an effort to banish Lysol wipes and other dissenfecting solutions from the schools–apparently not killing germs is a top priority! The administration has jumped on the “green” bandwagon and the schools must now purchase environmentally approved cleaning supplies. The bulletin even references a recent “60 Minutes” show to “prove” how on top of things they are.

  8. Old School Grump

    diva4ever at 5:28: I betcha some supplier (and some school supplies purchasing agent) will benefit mightily from the changeover. Hope someone does some investigative reporting!

  9. Walt

    Dude Man –
    This is actually the right way to go. Free will and the ability to choose is way over rated. Left to your own devices, you would probably eat salt, smoke, not wear a seat belt, and do plent of other stupid stuff. You need the goverment to decide this stuff for you. You moron.
    You think we fought all these wars so people could have free will? You know how many men died to pry that salt shaker out of your filthy little hand? Well do you, PUNK?? ( Dirty Harry!!)
    And besides, they did you a favor. Think how stupid you would look in that picture – peg pats, nehru jacket, Beatle bowl cut. Actually, you could probably pull that look off. Oh well.
    Your Pal,

  10. Way Up Valley

    What’s funny is that the bandz actually present an opportunity to teach, and one probably a lot more useful than whatever is in the text book the kids are paying no attention to.

    You’ve got everything from commerce/trade, property rules, social hierarchy, the social compact, the basis of civil society itself, right there, wrapped around the kids arms in neon colors, waiting to be discussed.

    Why not create a trade zone for the bandz, like, I don’t know, recess? Lunch?

    Explain to the kiddies time and place, the relationship of activities to each other, whatever, I don’t know, I am not a PEDAGOGICAL EXPERT but it seems to be just brown-shirting some rubber bands sends all kinds of wrong messages while squandering an opportunity.

  11. Cos Cobber

    That is a great idea Way Up.

  12. Wakeup

    Way up,

    Many teachers would have a problem with your idea since the lesson is not already planned for them in a book. The use of everyday situations to teach life lessons will continue to be ignored unless someone can write out in advance.

    Diva – You mean the schools are going to ban the very Lysol wipes that they asked for as handouts from parents at the beginning of the school year?

    I guess the BOE budget just increased to support these more expensive products that they will no longer be asking parents to supply…..