Get real

ESPN will try using real soccer commentators to lure American viewers.

Look: we all know how to play soccer in the US. I played it, badly but enthusiastically, in the late 60s. It’s a great game to engage in, but watch it on TV? Fuggedaboutit. We don’t watch cricket, the rest of the world doesn’t watch baseball. Fair enough. There are some sports that can’t break through cultural barriers and soccer is one of them.

It’s only the New World Order types who seem to think we Americans should go with the flow and join up with soccer fans. The hell with that. I wish the World Cup fans all enjoyment, but I’ll be waiting for the real football season to begin, in September.


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7 responses to “Get real

  1. JDinBkln

    I view the World Cup as I do the Olympics: I wouldn’t normally watch skiing, track or diving but I always watch them during the Olympics because they somehow seem more exciting — same thing with World Cup soccer. The US will likely be out pretty quickly, but I look forward to watching anyway and cheering for any team that plays against France.

  2. Anonymous

    Have no interest in sports or TV/movies but entertainment industry (and its many consumer-oriented advertisers) are major employers of unskilled workers

    Anything to keep more taxpayer parasites off welfare/unemployment…or unionized government “jobs”

  3. Front Row Phil

    Terrific photo. It reminds me of what work feels like every day!

    Chris, I need another referral — a home appraiser who will give us a really high (unrealistically high) number. The house is probably worth $800k. We need a figure of about $940k. Anyone come to mind? Should you contact me privately?

  4. Fake Walt

    CF, I am not surprised at your typical shallow American view on the sport of soccer. Football (as it should be called) is bigger than you think. The World Cup makes the Superbowl look like a pimple. More and more Americans are finally starting to embrace it. You are so predictable in your view…it is time to take the blinders off and see why the rest of the world is so enthralled.

    Let me attempt to stir your interest. Our first game against England has little to do with what happens on the pitch Saturday in South Africa, or the cast of characters. It has more to do with what happened on a hazy afternoon in New England in 1776. Paine’s ‘Common Sense’ invigorated the patriots and some will say that it may have been the spark for the American Revolution. Jeff Carlisle’s incredible piece of literature, outlining several ‘if’s ‘maybe’s’ and ‘I thinks’ of his experience at the USA training grounds is nothing less than stirring.

    Understanding that the US is a big underdog in this match, there is no team that I would rather beat than England.

    England is so pompous, looks down at US soccer, and thinks the world owes them something. Considering soccer isn’t even in the top 5 in sports in America, it would be sweet to beat them in their favorite sport. Ever think you’d see England play us in baseball/hockey/hoop s?

    Would love to see France go further than England to boot…even though the French don’t use deoderant, France is a better place to visit…better food, better wine, better weather, and better women.

    Let this be the guiding light for our players, our great and sovereign nation, and all rescued puppies the world over.

    Let’s go USA!!! Beat England!!!

    Off to South Africa

    Kind Regards,

    Fake Walt

  5. The Duke of Deception

    Regarding that photo:

    One of the many things the Duke hates about soccer (David Beckham, no, seriously), is the way these pansies act like they’ve been shot every time another pansy breathes on them. He will make an exception here, however, cuz that’s GONNA LEAVE A MARK!

  6. Anonymous

    The reason that I, along with most of the rest of the world, find NFL games unbearably boring is this:

    “According to a Wall Street Journal study of four recent broadcasts, and similar estimates by researchers, the average amount of time the ball is in play on the field during an NFL game is about 11 minutes.

    “In other words, if you tally up everything that happens between the time the ball is snapped and the play is whistled dead by the officials, there’s barely enough time to prepare a hard-boiled egg. In fact, the average telecast devotes 56% more time to showing replays.

    “So what do the networks do with the other 174 minutes in a typical broadcast? Not surprisingly, commercials take up about an hour. As many as 75 minutes, or about 60% of the total air time, excluding commercials, is spent on shots of players huddling, standing at the line of scrimmage or just generally milling about between snaps.”

    Just ask any World Cup soccer fan about NFL “football” and they will tell you that the pace of it, compared to that of soccer, is so slow that it is unwatchable.

    So, CF, enjoy the 11 minutes of “real football” you will get next September for every three hours you spend staring at your boob tube.

  7. I Canoe Bayou

    CF, I agree with your observation. But, it’s nice to have something other than CNBC on all day at the office. Plus, some of the people have really funny accents and goofy haircuts. And the players do too.