Fountain for Tax Collector?

My brother John is visiting and, reading about our new tax collector Tod Laudonia’s nonfeasance, suggests that I run for the office. I’ll admit the idea has appeal. I know nothing about tax collecting, so I’m as qualified as Mr. Laudonia, the job pays $100 grand a year and is not only part-time, it is, at least as performed by Laudonia, no time. Unlike Laudonia I don’t golf but I do enjoy sailing and fishing so I could keep myself as busy as he does. As to putting out tax bills, who cares? As several readers have pointed out, the taxes are due whether or not a bill is sent, so I could fire everyone else on the staff, for a significant saving, and just direct the town attorney, who’s already on the town payroll, to sue everyone twice a year.

I like it.


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11 responses to “Fountain for Tax Collector?

  1. Anonymous

    Great plan Chris!! why does this sound so simple and right?

  2. Pierre Bergé, Nom de Plume

    Cher Monsieur DelaFontagne,
    “Just the Facts” says my tax bills are “a courtesy.” As Chip (Kevin Bacon) would say, “Please, sir, may I have another?”
    Or, as we say en francais, “S’il vous plaît, monsieur, puis-je avoir un autre?”

  3. bc

    I called Town Hall, they don’t know when the bills are going out! Just another cluster ____.

  4. Burning Madolf

    Is there a pension to go along with that hard earned salary?

  5. Fred2

    Tax bills are a courtesy like a mugger saying “please”.

  6. 'Bill Grad'

    You had your chance, assholes!

  7. just_looking

    Is it an elected or appointed position? Reporting to whom? How are terminations initiated? Who oversees the termination procedure?

  8. leatrice fountain

    I will be glad to contribute to your campaign.
    Old New Dealer