Drinking in the ‘burbs

By Teri Buhl

Should Fairfield County Parents take more Action to Stop Underage Drinking?

By Teri Buhl

Early this year Greenwich Magazine named Fairfield County the number ONE underage drinking capital in America. Surprised? New Canaan, CT was named the number two city in the state for underage high school drinking. It’s an issue often gossiped about at dinner parties after a teenager gets alcohol poisoning or a friend’s daughter get taken advantage of by a boy – but a subject often investigated in the local media. The State even passed a law a few years ago giving local cops the right charge Parents who know underage drinking is going on in their home, allow their kids to host drinking parties, or supply alcohol for a party and then leave, with fines from a misdemeanor to a felony. Yet few families in the towns of Greenwich, Darien, New Canaan (who I’ve been polling) have ever been charged since the law took effect.

Over a year ago I started to get complaints about a few Wall Streeters I’ve covered in my finance reporting, allowing their kids to host drinking parties. I started to track the cases where local high school students were boasting about their drinking on their Facebook or MySpace pages and their parents were visible witnesses. I was even able to document a few case where parents filed police reports about missing property during one of these parties, but the local cops did not pursue or charge the parent with allowing the party to happen in the first place . An outgoing Patch editor let me know they’ve also been getting the similar complaints and watched the cops in their town refuse to enforce the law even though they had clear evidence of its violation. It’s an investigation that’s sensitive and I’m often surprised at parents who will complain about this issue but get a shy look on their face when I ask them to go on the record to talk about another parent or their neighbors’ involvement in underage drinking.

I grew up in a zero tolerance home in Southern California and came up with all kinds of creative ways to hide my partying for my eagle eye mother. I can’t imagine what could have happen if there were not strict boundaries set for me. But even then we didn’t have laws telling my parents they couldn’t let me drink at home and have friends over so they could monitor it.  In New Canaan, they’ve recently raised private funds to host 8-week classes for parents on why they shouldn’t allow underage drinking and how they can effect change in their community to get other parents to stop it.

But I have to wonder if the State has gone too far in setting up laws that tell parents how to parent on issue like teen drinking.  I’m still working on this story and would love to hear from parents who read this blog if you have stories about other adults turning a blind eye to underage drinking or if you think the current laws that can charge adults for their kids’ actions are just unnecessary. All conversations will be kept confidential unless you choose to speak out. You can reach me at: teribuhl@gmail.com

59 Comments

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59 responses to “Drinking in the ‘burbs

  1. unpopular parents

    Our views are shared by only the tiniest minority, but here goes.

    1. There is no problem sending a person as young as 18 to war but they can’t have a beer. The argument is that their brains hasn’t developed. What is the impact of war on an immature brain? We allow immature brains to vote? And who says we all develop at the same rate? It was stupid to raise the drinking age in the first place. If you want to curb drunk driving, set up random road blocks. Now we’ll hear the parents scream!

    2. Why should we ask our kids to take responsibility for their behavior when we can blame someone else, have lawyers sue and juries award. We have done a bang-up job passing our values on to our the next generation; we have individual rights and not individual responsibilities. The country is doomed.

    3. As for ratting out my neighbor, picture this scenario: young person arrives at the house sober but minutes after chugging vodka, later passes out. Or: young person drops booze in bushes outside house to retrieve later, gets drunk, passes out. Arrest followed by law suit and award…

    Our family has a simple solution: our kids don’t have friends over and they don’t go out. How sad.

  2. boredatwork

    I have always thought that kids will drink no matter what restrictions you throw up to stop them. When my kids are older, I am pretty sure I would rather them drink in my house where I can keep an eye on them and make sure nothing gets out of hand, make sure no-one drives afterwards, etc. That would be far preferable to them drinking elsewhere where I have no idea what’s going on, who’s doing what, and who’s driving while under the influence. Prosecuting parents who (in my view) are acting responsibly is not going to stop kids from drinking, it will just change the location and the level of parental supervision.
    I grew up in the UK where the drinking age is 18 but in reality there are pubs in almost every town where anyone can buy a drink if they are 16. The US’s fascination with restricting drinking has always puzzled me – when you are 18 you can get married, adopt kids, fight for your country and die doing so, and yet somehow you’re deemed to be too irresponsible to have a drink. Getting off topic here, I know, but it is strange (to me).

  3. Jane

    Are those her typos? Or something that took place in the cut/paste event.

  4. The Word

    As with everything it touches, the government’s deepening involvement in this issue has only served to make the problem dramatically worse (how’s the “war on drugs” going down there in Mexico and Texas lately?) . “Back in the day”, kids getting alcohol poisoning and needing EMS attention and/or hospitalization was practically unheard of. It almost never happened. Why? Because the beverage of choice was beer (almost always from kegs), and it’s awfully damn hard to drink yourself to death using beer.

    In comes the government to make near impossible for kids to get their hands on kegs, so kids move on to objectively more dangerous substances, primarily vodka, and now it’s not a question of whether a kid will need an ambulance on the weekend but how many.

    And while the government is busy demonizing and making it harder for kids to get their hands booze, many of them are moving on to prescription medications for their highs (pain relievers, etc.) Good job Hartford!

    What accomplishment of any government anywhere would incline any sane person to believe that it could solve any problem whatsoever. I’m a better and more accomplished parent and person than any government bureaucrat, and I’d appreciate being left the phuck alone to raise my kids as I see fit.

  5. Why would this be a topic for a finance writer? If you do pursue it, be suspect of someone ratting on another parent or child. The subject matter is important, but I don’t see you as the vehicle for such a serious conversation.

  6. Anthony Fountain

    She’s a wonderful investigator but her writing is, well, “teribuhl.” I wish she would let an editor tidy things up.

  7. Cos Cobber

    I agree with the unpopular parents. Its absurd to give an 18 yr old the right to vote, marry, purchase arms and join the military, but not yet drink. heck, they can even borrow money too. I’d rather see the kids in bars and adopt NYC’s position and drinking and driving….when caught, the car is impounded.

  8. As a former editor, I heartily agree with Anthony.

    CF, no matter the developments, Ms. Buhl needs to tread very carefully. I think she’s WAY off base to entertain writing about this. When you go nosing around or accusing parents of doing something wrong, you get alot of hackles up.

    Here’s my investigative reporting: Parents make choices, right or wrong. Kids drink, right or wrong. The End.

  9. Walt

    Dudester –
    You going to let Ms. McBeal insert a guest post now and then? You get to insert anything in return? Huh? HUH!!!!
    And I agree for all the reasons stated above, the drinking age should be 18. If 18 is old enough to get your brains blown out for your country, we should at least let them drink.
    And I agree with your brother Tony. If she is gonna post, teach her some grammer. Or at least tell her what a plural is.
    You load.
    Your Pal,

    Walt

  10. Patrick

    EOS –

    Your comment – “I don’t see you as the vehicle for such a serious conversation” – seems a bit out of touch. Teri is a reporter….reporters tell stories. If they tell stories they are interested in that is even better. I’m not sure there is a ton of content knowledge required for a story on underage drinking…just good investigative reporting skills.

    I say more power to anyone who wants to tell the story….

  11. Kidding Really??

    I hear a lot of kids of hedge fund dad are drinking heavily this time of year in anticipation of Dad’s bonus.

  12. Patrick: Ms. Buhl’s own profile says this: I’m a Wall Street investigative reporter.

    There’s my disconnect with doing an article on underage drinking.

  13. Anonymous

    I knew a woman who hired an off-duty Greenwich police officer to screen the guests at her son’s high-school graduation party. This not only kept out would-be crashers but let the invited underage drinkers inside know that there was a uniformed cop complete with gun just outside the door in case of any disorderly conduct. Smart lady.

  14. On the outside looking in...

    Oh come on New Canaan where are you?!

  15. Libertarian Advocate

    Mercifully, my kids are past that stage. I had several hellish years.

    Imposing criminal liability on parents drives the kids’ conduct further underground, increasing the likelihood of tragic results due to zero adult supervision.

    Also, as noted above, if you can get your brains blown away in the service of your country, get married, be bound by contractual obligations, pay taxes, then a beer or 4 should also be permitted.

    Of course, that’s not how pandering politicians see things.

  16. The Duke of Deception

    “I am the godamn Shore Patrol”!

  17. Lls2

    Rich kids will always drink and it’s sad that some will die.

    Ms buhl has every right to ruffle feathers and report on this

    Parents can look the other way or be enablers. I think parents want their kids to be popular and the easiest way to do that is to throw keggers.

  18. anonymous

    Maybe they don’t run a story like this every 2 or 3 years in Southern California where Teribuhl is from, but this is a tired old yawner in these here parts. Earth Ocean Sky Redux pretty much covered it in 13 words…and he didn’t capitalize random words like “state” or “parent”–that just drives me to drink. Woops!

  19. anonymous2

    Having lived from age 9 through 16 in the UK, mostly confined to boys’ boarding schools, I agree with Boredatwork’s puzzlement at American attitudes towards drinking. From age 10 on my parents, one English the other American, always gave me a watered down version of whatever they were drinking. When they went to the pub where I couldn’t go I’d sit in the car and they’d bring me a shandy, 50% beer, 50% fizzy lemonade. When at 14 I got to the English equivalent of an American prep school I found they had a “house binge” the night before we went home for the Christmas holidays. This included the school providing barrels of hard cider. I grew up with drinking a normal part of life and as a teen I think I was plastered only twice. In contrast the US attitude seems to trigger what I call the “cookie jar” syndrome. That is if parents tell you that you can’t have something that thing becomes what you want the most. Stupid.

  20. IDAHO

    We all knew what beer tasted like in GHS and that if you were tall enough to put your money on the bar you could get served in NY. (age there was 18 then)

    My dad’s line of 50 years ago was: “If you get yourself in trouble you better be able to get yourself back out” I never tested that one, worked for my kids too!

  21. Not my usual screen name

    I have a 15yo HS sophomore who has two events in the past two months where alcohol was involved. The first was a supervised party in Darien held at a town civic center or something. Though my son is a sophomore, he and a friend were invited to this party thrown by seniors. When they got there, they noted that some adults were present and that some of the kids had clearly been drinking prior to arrival. Then some new arrivals snuck in a couple of pints. The police were called by someone and my son, his friend and and older neighbor departed. Much to my kid’s credit, he did not want to part of the scene. Unfortunately, I do not know what happened afterward.

    The second event was a weekend ago. A friend of my sophomore hosted a party at his parent’s house (parents in process of divorcing). Word spread (online I assume) that a keg would be present and my son and his friend decided not to attend (friend’s mom suspected something and put pressure on boys). No idea if adults were present or not but those is a very “progressive” and very permissive family which has had adult substance abuse issues. By Monday stories were already spreading about the girl who passed out and had to be taken to the hospital for a stomach flushing. When I asked my son about he said that was nothing special and that there is at least one every week or two. Ugh!

    Don’t get me wrong. I am no puritan and had my first beers outside the house when I was 16. Back in the late 70s the drinking age was 18 and getting a friend or older brother to get you a duplicate drivers license was not difficult (no photos back then). Better (or worse), compliance at bars and delis was not very high as long as they “tried”. Liquor stores were tougher but we preferred beer so not a big deal. Getting into bars at that point put us in a different environment which made our imbibing feel more “adult”, less illicit and slower paced (we all has after school and weekend jobs so we were spending earned money as well).

    Did we get drunk? Yes. Did some of us drive after that? Yes. Did we have any car accidents? Amazingly, no but we also willingly gave up our keys to a more sober friend.

    I recently commented to a train platform friend how things have changed and I worry about our kids. For some reason today’s teen drinking seems worse than 30 years ago – it certainly has worse implications vis-a-vis schools’ supposed zero tolerance policies, police interaction and Facebook bragidacio (sp?) being carved into the internet’s stone.

    Also, binge drinking seems to have gotten worse, both in teens and college, since the increases in the drinking age. Is it tat alcohol is the forbidden fruit?

    Worse, pot has become a bigger issue as well. While I have some experience, it has been over 20 years since my last. Over that time, pot potency has increased and THC concentrations are said to be 10-20x that of 30 years ago. So, if I am a kid and want to get high, can’t get beer easily, pot is an easier chois
    Ce. Readily available in this

  22. Stump

    Walt can’t spell “grammar” correctly, but he wants to criticize someone’s faulty mastery of it.

  23. Old School Grump

    I’m pretty sure that it’s fed policy (not law) that keeps the drinking age at 21; setting the drinking age remains a state’s right, but they all switched it to 21 and have stayed there because otherwise the Feds will cut off their access to federal dollars for road building and maintenance.

    I can’t figure out if Ms Buhl is being disingenuous or naive when she says she is surprised parents will not talk about this on the record. I can’t think of a quicker way to get your house egged, your mailbox blown up, and your phone calls unreturned.

  24. aliprowl

    Just like anything else, one can be taught how to drink responsibly. And just like anything else, forbidden fruit tastes so much sweeter! If alcohol is used responsibly in the home, the urchin is far less likely to go insane and binge away from home.

    My advice: lower the drinking age to 18 and raise the driving age to 30. Solves a myriad of problems.

  25. Teri Buhl

    Thanks for the feedback.

    I think the other big issue here is how the cops seem to sweep the issue under the rug. I’d love to hear feedback on if you’ve seen them play favs with one family and then target another. Or if you think they don’t have enough tools and resources to tackel the issue at it’s core.

  26. @notmyusualscreenname: that was really wonderful of you to share. I bet many reading this column could tell a similar tale but few want to admit it. Never trust a parent who says “that’ll never happen in MY household.” That’s the FIRST kid to get wasted. It’s all about keeping conversations open with your kids. It doesn’t mean they won’t still get in trouble or go to an unsupervised party, but if they know, no matter what, that you are there for them, you’ll likely get the truth. You might not like the truth, but at least the kids will feel they can tell you the whole story. I don’t mean to say that being there for them is getting them off the hook or sweeping it under the table. Kids HAVE to learn to get out of their own trouble (IDAHO said it best) because if they have parents who always take care of trouble, the more trouble they will find. My kids are grown but over the teen years, I’ve had more than one child get drunk (girls and boys) or be at unsupervised parties. Those were very tough years, constantly worrying, have I taught them right, what will they do when in a situation. I don’t envy parents with young kids/teens today. I agree it gets harder – so many over-the-counter drugs that kids can get hooked on (far worse than any alcohol). We have a good friend whose son got hooked on oxycontin. Four rehab stints later he’s okay, but it was a long haul. Scary world out there.

  27. Ms. Buhl: I seem to always be on your case but I’m stunned, absolutely stunned, that you want to pursue this topic AND add small-town police into the equation! OMG woman, what are you thinking? I’m sorry to be so blunt, but go back to your Wall Street investigative reporting. Grump has rightfully warned you.

    FYI: tackle, not tackel.

  28. I think I should apologize. I was too harsh. Ms. Buhl has a job. I don’t. Ms. Buhl hunts down out good stories. I don’t.

    Good luck to Ms. Buhl and may she be successful in her tasks. But please take spelling lessons.

  29. No my usual screen name

    First, apologies on the roughness of my post. Somehow the Submit button got pressed before I was done. Then the train got to my destination and i could not revise. Hence the messy ending.

    EOS, no, it is different and more complicated today. Also, and at the risk of angering my contemporaries, too many parents either want to be their kids’ friends or are living vicariously through their kids (sort of). I have peers who think, “well, we did it (and survived) so what’s so wrong with our kids doing it?” Are those parents worse than those who are blissfully ignorant of what is at play?

    My primary concern is that consequences today are far more serious than 30 years ago. MADD has made zero tolerance the norm both on schools but also courts. One youthful moment of bad judgement and a kid’s permanent record is toast. Or, stupid text message or embarrassing photos get emailed, tweeted or otherwise posted online and can dog a kid forever. There is a private school in Town that has put a zero tolerance policy in place which seems to have real teeth (I will believe it when a trustee’s kid gets tossed out but I digress).

    Talk to your kids and make sure they can talk to you. Tell them they can call at any time, no questions asked then, to get extricated from abad situation. Sure, repercussions the next day but do not ever leave your kid stranded at a bad scene with then thinking they have no way out/home.

    I have told my sons that they have to earn our trust and that it is like a bank account from which they can make deposits and suffer withdrawals. The more they tell us of what is going on, the greater their trust reserve. But not telling us and our finding out from someone else later is not a good thing.

    Not an easy discussion…..

  30. bubbles

    The past president of Middlebury College, John McCardell, is the leader of an organization that is attempting to expand the conversation about our nation’s drinking age.

    Here is the website.

    http://www.chooseresponsibility.org/

  31. ilsa

    Reading the comments of some of these weenie parents, its no wonder the US is becoming a nanny state.

  32. Anonymous

    My 2 cents:
    My kids are thankfully through the teen years and safely. This is what I did:
    1. I told them that it was against the law (illegal) to drink under 18. Whether I disagreed with that or not, it was the law. And,as with other laws you are to abide or pay the consequences.
    2. I explained to them the consequences for me, if they had a big party at our house and someone left drunk and got hurt. They would not be going to jail. It would be ME.
    3. I also told them that I knew what went on in town regardless of the law. And I knew people drank when they were not supposed to, drove, and in some cases got hurt or died.
    4. I told them that the most important thing to me was that my children were safe and alive and because of that, I did 3 things.
    a) Gave them the Safe Rides # and had them put it in their wallets.
    b) Opened an account with the local taxi company, which they could use when they found themselves in a position where it was not safe to drive or be driven.
    3) Told them if all else failed to call me. No questions asked. I would pick them up.
    Not perfect, I know. But, that is what I did. And it provided an avenue for open communication.

  33. OOT

    Petur Agustsson of New Canaan (looks like a graduated senior) threw a large party this summer and a few teenagers had to go to the hospital over a fight. He said his parents were out of town. The New Canaan patch reported Petur had been busted for pot possision a few months before. I have to wonder if the local police looked into the parents role?
    http://newcanaan.patch.com/articles/police-blotter-house-party-leads-to-street-fight-another-burglary-marijuana-more

  34. Gmom

    I was just coming here to ask the same thing! CRAZY!

  35. Teri Buhl

    Yep – they arrested me. It was quite the surprise. I haven’t even seen the warrant yet or had a chance to enter a plea of not guilty. Since I’ve now been read my rights it will likely have to be my lawyer who will comment for me. The editors I’ve talked to about this story fully stand behind me. But I will say this: I firmly believe this is nothing more then a case of small town cops harassing a journalist over first amendment rights while protecting sources and a few Wall Street parents trying to keep their and their 18 year old daughters’ name out of a story about what happens when adults let underage drinking go unchecked. One local New Canaan cop threaten me with charges if I didn’t offer up my sources a few months ago but I had no idea they’d go this far.
    I also find it interesting that Hearst Newspapers – via the New Canaan News- didn’t even call me for comment. It’s not like they don’t have my contact info. And I think they forgot the word ‘alleged’ in their re-write of the police blotter.

  36. Jim

    You are the scum of the earth Teri. This is none of your business. Let parents parent, and stay the fuck out of it. They aren’t your kids.

  37. oenoke

    Teri, really, its not your business. Don’t mess with NC.

  38. Jimmy

    They aren’t your kids either. How can you defend this? Who are you to decide what is and isn’t good parenting? And is that really the reason Teri was covering this story?

  39. tonguesincheek

    I grew up in southern Fairfield County not too long ago. I began drinking in my sophomore year of high school (age 15) and was well into drinking and driving home by the end of my junior year: in my feeble mind it was the best solution to the catch-22 my parents forced me into, as I had to be home by 1, but I couldn’t drink (Earth to parents: in what world does this policy make any sense?). If I ever got home late (or was clearly drunk), it was willfully ignored, never even discussed. After all I was in the top 10 of my class, varsity in 3 sports, etc.

    Now at 23, I have a full time job, a graduate degree from Stanford, and a spot at HBS. By most people’s definition I am not a total screw-up (I’ll be waiting a bit longer for the final ruling here).

    Was I stupid at 16-18? Without question. I was merely lucky enough to not suffer anything close to the appropriate consequences given the gravity of the mistakes I made. But my parents should have known better. To this day, I’m still baffled that I got away with what was obviously drunk driving for three years.

    I hope that this can serve as a wake-up call to some of you who are acting just like my parents did. Being involved, taking kids’ keys, and hiring bouncers to keep the riff-raff out is the exact right approach to take (well, that or having an older sibling around who’s seen it all, good and bad). Don’t ask don’t tell did not work out well for my parents. I’d be surprised if it will in other cases.

  40. OMG THE WORLD TOTALLY NEEDED ANOTHER TEEN DRINKING STORY.

  41. Also, would some please tell Terrible Teri Buhl that “The Ice Storm” was only a movie. A very, very poor movie.

  42. NC mom

    Did you see this morning’s CTpost.com story on this?

  43. ginger

    The funniest thing is she thinks she’s a journalist.

    Since when does stealing a girl’s journal, posting the private contents on Facebook, and then anonymously mailing them to your boyfriend count as journalism?

    Teri, you are clearly a disturbed individual who should seek professional help. And mind your own business

  44. TMS

    A few thoughts. I was an introverted kid and when I started to drink it opened up a whole new world to me. I never had fun before drinking like I did after I started. Now If I ever have kids do I really want to deny them that same fun. I think a lot of people are ashamed to admit that drugs and drinking allow them to enjoy themselves more easily and/or to a greater extent than is possible without drugs. They feel like its a personal failing and they are insecure because they aren’t as uninhibited without drugs. Its not a failing, inhibitions are normal and drinking and drugging take them away and allow people to ‘cut loose’ in a way that is not possible without them. These are simple facts and they are not debatable.

    Unfortunately drinking and drugs giveth and they taketh away. The fun, uninhibited times you have with drinking and drugs come at a cost, not the least of which is the familiar hangover complete with headache, vomitting and diarreah. Then there are the accidents, both driving and otherwise. Don’t forget the alcohol-fueled fights and horrible impaired judgement. Also there is the humiliation of realizing you’ve made a fool of yourself. But having said all that there is just no denying that they allow you to have more fun than is otherwise possible. This is a neurological fact. So its not so simple an issue. IF you’re being honest you’ll admit that getting drunk and getting a bit crazy with friends is one of life’s greatest pleasures. And then there’s hooking up. One of the strongest drives we have. And for a shy kid approaching the opposite sex without some chemical help is next to impossible. Its not easy to just deny all that to your kids. If you’re honest you’ll admit that drinking has its payoffs. Thats what is really missing from the discussion. Because deep down parents want their kids to have fun and drinking really can be a whole lot of fun.

  45. NC Parent

    TMS you have have a good point but we I hope we also see other reporters now covering the story write about how these local CT cops in a wealthy town have taken it upon themselves to likely wreck a journalist ability to report by having her arrested. I bet they likely scared off the teens or parents who might have come forward to talk about how much is swept under rug by the parents (and the cops) ignoring serious problems in underage drinking.
    Why do our police get to determine what a group of teens and local residents can talk about on private group facebook page. My teen said they were invited to join to page, checked it out, and thought it was set up by a group of parents trying to catch teens admitting how and where they’d been drinking. There were a couple teens named being at the party at Avery Underwood’s house. My kid got an email asking if he saw if Avery’s parents supplied the booze.

    It looks like Buhl’s lawyer was quoted saying they question the information used by the cops for getting a warrant. If she gets this dismissed what happens then. Should she sue the local police for interfering in her ability to research and report a story – and earn a living.

  46. Chinatown

    Teri, forget it kid, it’s only Chinatown

  47. NC mom

    Private to Christopher Fountain… is it appropriate to have a child’s name published here?

  48. Tory

    She stole letters from her boyfriend’s teenage daughter and then posted it on the internet… if that doesn’t scream crazy then what does?
    She can’t write and she can’t cover her tracks because, yes, she was tracked down and found. Clearly the woman has many problems going in her life beyond the fact that she can’t spell.

  49. Anonymous

    Teri-
    I must say that it takes a lot of guts for a 38 year old woman who doesn’t have kids, or a husband yet (embarrassing enough?) try to teach other parents a little bit about how to raise their kids. If anything, I would think that your parents were the wrong ones since they raised a daughter who thinks it’s ok to harrass her boyfriends daughter on Facebook. No really, a round of applause for the number one parents you have! Also I find it hilarious that you think you really aren’t guilty and can use the excuse that you were simply helping out a second source–you’re a journalist who is good at making up excuses so we all don’t believe you. You are a sad, sad human being for breaking an entery, stealing someone’s belongings and scanning them onto the internet for the whole world to see, especially since the girl is your own boyfriends daughter. It makes me sick to know that you can sleep at night thinking you did nothing wrong. Kids drink, get over it. You aren’t going to stop it so you might as well stop ruining innocent teenager’s lives in the process. How screwed up are you? I really hope your court date goes well and that they realize you are a guilty scum-bag who deserves to be locked up for the pain you have caused this poor girl and her family.
    Oh and for a “journalist” your grammar blows.

  50. Tory

    Nc parent-
    You are obviously just upset that your kid was at that party. This woman doesn’t deserve to earn a living, esp. from posting a teenage girl’s personal journal on the internet. You are using the word “private” very lightly when you talk about the facebook page because it wasn’t private at all. If your kid was exploited on the internet I’m sure you would be taking the same actions as this girl’s parents are. Think before you speak next time and go read the CT post…

  51. Cathy

    The reason you were arrested is because you were cyber bullying a 17-year-old girl, not to mention your boyfriend’s daughter. Good job keeping your career and personal life separate.

  52. another NC mom

    This is quite simple to me. I will not serve underage children. It’s against the law. I’m not going to break the law. Period. To show your children that you are willing to break the law shows an incredible amount of disrespect.

    and this poster:
    “You are the scum of the earth Teri. This is none of your business. Let parents parent, and stay the fuck out of it. They aren’t your kids.”

    ummmm – i do believe that’s the point. Parents should parent their own kids. They have no right serving other parents’ children. You can serve your own child. You cannot serve others. Get it?

  53. another NC mom

    and why . . . oh why . . . do people try to defend early drinking with examples of England? Are the English youth responsible and safe drinkers? hmmmmmm

  54. Scott-New Canaan Parent

    Meagan Brody (the letter writer) and Avery Underwood (the party host) are both 18 years old. Meagan Brody is named in the police report. There is no reason for any blog or newspaper to not publish their names. Any one who thinks Meagan Brody is innocent should read this update by Business Insider. It appears she not only got keys to her friends house to binge drink before a party started (which is illegal) and then wrote a letter and bragged about it so she could be popular.
    http://www.businessinsider.com/new-canaan-girl-on-sex-diary-teri-buhl-reporter-new-canaan-2010-11?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+clusterstock+%28ClusterStock%29

    Typical Wall Street dad trying to cover up for his teens behavior. It’s sad but I’m not surprised the New Canaan Police would try to down play the real news here. Why haven’t they arrested either teen with underage drinking?

    Buhl hasn’t been charged with stealing anyone’s diary. Read the warrant report and you’ll see for yourself. Anyone posting here as if that’s a fact is either a friend of her family, her mom, or doesn’t know how to read.

  55. Anonymous

    http://www.facebook.com/meagan.brody
    Has anyone seen how the Brody girl dresses? Looks like binge drinking isn’t the only thing her parents let slide.