July 6, 2011 · 4:31 pm

Sadly, mine’s more a replica than representative

Korean scientists announce that you ladies can estimate a fella’s weenie size by comparing the ring to the index finger. I’ll have to start wearing gloves when dating.

11 Comments

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11 responses to “Sadly, mine’s more a replica than representative”

  1. Al Dente
    July 6, 2011 at 4:43 pm

    Everyone knows that Koreans have little baracks. It’s a ploy to spook us, since their nukes aren’t ready yet.

  2. deleted
    July 6, 2011 at 5:34 pm

    Length is definitely overrated. It’s technique, technique, technique and also location, location, location.

  3. Earth Ocean Sky Redux
    July 6, 2011 at 5:41 pm

    That study is all wrong. The OFFICIAL EOS Guide is:
    The more expensive a man’s car, the smaller his appendage.

    Lord, by that standard Chris, with your shitbox car, woman should be knocking down your door in droves!! 🙂

  4. Honda Man
    July 6, 2011 at 6:54 pm

    .Funny. I have short stubby fingers. However, my penis resembles a baby’s arm holding an apple

  5. Walt
    July 6, 2011 at 7:33 pm

    Dude –
    So the size of your Mr. Happy has you worried? Don’t worry about it my friend. You sell dirt. Surely you know how to put lipstick on a pig, right? You can work with whatever it is you got, no matter how stubby you are. And this is Greenwich, so wallet size tops package size. Hmmmm….ok, forget that thought.
    First, you need confidence. Go fishing more, and when you catch a fish, and someone says “Wow!! That is a big one”!! Pretend they are talking about you. It will make you feel self assured.
    Practice more with your inflatable Love Dolls. They never complain, right? RIGHT??? If they do, you have bigger problems than the size of your weasel and you need more help than I can give.
    And Hotties like a little mystery, Dude. Give up the Speedo, and wear Surfer Shorts. And boxers, not briefs. So by the time they realize you are packing only two inches of powder, you will already be finished!!
    Hope this helps!!
    Your Pal,
    Walt

  6. Greenwich Gal
    July 6, 2011 at 7:57 pm

    Apparently that is bad news for you?

  7. Nathan Hale
    July 7, 2011 at 8:51 am

    The linked-to study was for 144 Korean men hospitalized for urology surgery, measured while under sedation. Is this really a scientific study? We hope the EOS OFFICIAL guide is equally data-deficient in the “valid science” department.

    The study also found that:

    “Most men have index fingers that are shorter (low ratio) than their ring fingers, while most women’s index fingers are the same size or longer (high ratio) than their ring fingers. Research has shown, however, that lesbians and female-to-male transgendered people are more likely to have more “male” ratios.

    “Finger-length ratios have been linked previously with a variety of other characteristics: in both males and females, lower ratios are associated with better athletic performance. In men, one study found that a lower ratio was connected with more success at high-frequency financial trading, while another study associated it with better performance on medical school entrance exams; women were not included in those studies.

    “Men with lower 2ndDigit:4thDigit ratios were also more likely to have more “masculine” features, to have more symmetrical faces, and to be considered attractive by women, according to another study.”

    • christopherfountain
      July 7, 2011 at 9:59 am

      I just thought it was funny, Nathan, and I enjoy teasing myself (almost) as much as teasing other people. Boring and hypocritical to dish it out without taking it, too although my readers do a pretty good job on the latter.

  8. Linda from Poughkeepsie
    July 7, 2011 at 1:18 pm

    Didn’t Maria Muldaur sing “It ain’t the meat it’s the motion”?