Starbucks introduces new swill while banning blonde jokes

That's not funny

No kidding. Stabucks has come out with what the manager of their own “flagship Chicago store” describes as “coffee for the non-coffee drinker”, a light roast it’s calling “blonde’. And it will be a “written offense”, whatever that is, workers are warned, to crack blonde jokes in the stores. There aren’t too many jokes in that vein to begin with, I don’t think, but here are some:

Why aren’t blondes allowed coffee breaks in the office? It takes too long to re-train them

Blonde brings a thermos to the local Starbucks and asks, “is this big enough to hold six cups?” Assured that it is she says, “then I need two blacks, one decaf and four with milk and sugar”.

Okay, those suck. I think the best joke is that of that manager in Chicago who admits that his new brand is intended for non-coffee drinkers. That ought’a sell well in a coffee shop.


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4 responses to “Starbucks introduces new swill while banning blonde jokes

  1. I predict whoever came up with the Blonde label and marketing idea will be looking for a job at Dunkin Donuts soon. Stupid.

  2. Brit

    as a blonde – I want one of the t shirts……

  3. CatoRenasci

    Well, Starbuck’s signature has always been cheap beans roasted to a burn, if they’re selling a lighter roast (which is what serious coffee connoisseurs prefer for all but espresso) it will either have to have better quality beans than their usual swill or it will really be execrable….

  4. AJ

    I uses to love Bustelo when I lived on the lower east side. It’s available in most (probably all) Bodegas where they sell this little sock on an aquarium fish net handle thing for a one cup filter. Watch out for Gypsies, they’ll want to look in your wallet to see if there’s anything in there to bring you luck. I always liked to go visit Gypsies with an empty wallet: it really makes them crazy.