None so blind, and all that ….

A Realtor/owner/builder asked me today what I thought of her house and, since she asked, I told her I thought it was overpriced. “But that [the new, lower asking rice] is what we have into it!” I must have been feeling ornery so I explained that what someone “has into” a new house is as irrelevant as the price someone paid for a used one – market value is what someone is willing to pay, not what it cost you to build, not what you paid for it, not what you “need” or want. I thought they covered this concept in that grueling real estate course we all had to endure before joining this august profession.

19 Comments

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19 responses to “None so blind, and all that ….

  1. Anonymous

    The blind leading the blind!

  2. Walt

    Dude –
    You know where I am? Of course you don’t. You don’t even know where you are, you dummy!! I am at 39,000 feet, flying home from L.A. No shit. Yes, that’s right. Tinseltown Baby!! Hollywood!! And I have internet access on a plane!! How cool is that? I didn’t go out there to pitch our treatment, but more on that in a bit.

    So I get picked by the TSA for the full body scan. What the frig do I care, I would have stripped bare assed naked if they wanted me to. I actually would have preferred to fly the whole way home naked if they would let me.

    Anyhows, they have a big fat black chick running the scan. You go into this round tube, with yellow foot marks, and they make you stand sideways, and put your arms over your head. Then glass spins around you, and they look at the scan. So I chat up the TSA chick. Black chicks in general are cooler than white chicks. Great sense of humor and not hung up about sex. You ever pop a black hottie, Dude? Lots of fun!!

    So I asked her if I could see my full body scran and she lets me. There was not really a waiting line, so I wasn’t holding anyone up. And the picture looks just like an x-ray, and you can see everything Dude. My franks and beans were right there in all their glory!! I asked her if she could tell, from the scan only, if someone was black or white, and she said yes, based on racial characteristics. I asked if she thought I was really black, and we both laughed our asses off!!

    Then she swabs my hands and sticks the swab into a machine. I asked what that was for, and she says to test for explosives. I said the only thing you are going to find is some electric glide, and we both laughed our asses off again!! She was cool!! Then I volunteered for a full body search, but she sent me on my way. After she patted my ass. So like all things in life, the TSA really isn’t that bad if you just know how to enjoy the moment. I had a blast!!

    Anyhows, again. I was out there on non-flick business, but everyone you run into out there is connected to the entertainment biz. So I talked up our treatment to some folks I met. Dude, a SILENT FILM just won the Academy Award!! They got NOTHING I tell you. They are DYING for product. A SILENT FILM!! I can write better than that before I finish my morning dump.

    So I made some good contacts, and this is a go. But I need your help. YES THAT’S RIGHT I ADMIT IT!! I can write first person narrative, third person narrative, erotica, and dirty limericks, but I want to do DIALOGUE and I can’t!! I tried on the plane. This is what I have:
    Me: Dude, where are we on the treatment?
    You: Uh…….
    Me: How you doing with the GAR Evil Princess?
    You:Ummmm.

    I have forty pages of this crap!! So the dirt market is dead, we have plenty of time, so let’s get writing. I already sold the concept, and told them about you, and they can’t wait to meet you and see a rough draft!!
    What do you think? By the way, for some reason, they think your name is Izzy Mendelbaum. OK?
    Your Pal,
    Walt

  3. Anonymous

    Based on your musings here, unless you plan to wright for High Times or possibly bawdy stories on the toilette walls in bus stations between Greenwich and LA, it would probably be advisable to find another line.

  4. Spencercat

    Oh, I think Walt and the Dude would do fine out in LA. Dude’s a great writer, or else we all wouldn’t be coming back here…

  5. Row Your Boat

    This guy Walt is one low class but funny guy. Wonder if he’s CF’s brother? Only a good friend or family could write that stuff.

  6. Cos Cobber

    oooh, a chop down for Walt.

  7. greengal

    Did you see 12 Lockwood today in OG? What did you think of the price?

  8. Sound Beacher

    CF: touche`

  9. Peg

    Actually, Chris (returning to real estate) – one of my favorite lines is the “But we NEED ‘$xxxxyyy’ for our house.”

    I always love that. They “need” 28% more than their home is worth. I always think to myself, “Why just 28% more? If the home is going to sell for $500K, then why not ask for $1.5 million? Couldn’t that extra million come in handy?”

    How hard of a concept is it that buyers are going to offer what they feel they need to offer to purchase in any given market? Well – silly question, I guess. I mean – look at our federal market……. they seem to have utterly no concept of this principle, either.

  10. Greenwich Gal

    Oh Walt – it is my secret fantasy that you are really a handsome, well educated, 48 year old former athlete who happens to write this stuff up between investment meetings for your personal amusement. And someday we’ll meet and be friends. The tough truth is – you are probably sitting in front of your old TV with foil on the antennae in a ratty, stained bathrobe with your teeth in a glass, swilling beer and scratching your balls waiting for your unemployment check to arrive.
    Such is reality.
    But – you really have a talent for writing humor. And I just want you to know how much your grammar and spelling have improved since you have started posting!
    xoxo – Your number one gal – GG

    • Walt’s actually a toothless octogenarian who lives in a van. You can find him at Greenwich Libray (just follow your noese) where, thanks to the free Internet access, he can pen his missives.
      Sorry to disillusion you.

  11. Walt

    Thanks GG. And you are actually much closer than the Weasel Boy!! No surprises there, though.
    Your Pal,
    Walt

  12. Row Your Boat

    This is funny stuff!

  13. ML

    Tell her that I have a closet full of Lehman “RSUs” (Restricted Stock Units) that “cost” me between $40-80 a share. I will gladly barter her house for my RSUs. How about your broker that deal??

  14. Greenwich Gal

    Well, Walt, honey, which one of my scenarios is the accurate one? Just wonderin’.

  15. Walt

    The former, of course.

  16. Greenwich Gal

    Well, Of course.

  17. Walt

    But I do scratch my balls. But only when they itch.