Yeah, but what about just second base?

Doesn't count if you're on a tropical isle

Republicans in South Carolina demand their candidates swear that they never engaged in pre-marital sex. Given that this article appears in something called “The Clinton Chronicle”, I suppose anything up to but not involving the dirty deed itself is not really “sex”, so that’ll be alright.

I’m just guessing here but I’d expect a dearth of Republican candidates next election. Or a whole bunch of liars.


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8 responses to “Yeah, but what about just second base?

  1. Libertarian Advocate

    ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANT STRATEGY!!!!!! If your trying to guarantee you won’t get a Republican elected.

  2. Cobra

    Can you imagine if the Demonrats in Laurans County enacted such a requirement? They might not come up with any candidates, even if they lowered (or in that geography, “raised”) the bar to beastiality.

  3. Peg

    “ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANT STRATEGY!!!!!! If your trying to guarantee you won’t get a Republican elected.”

    Eggsactly what I was thinking…..!

  4. Anonymous

    This could be the beginning of the end of the Republican party.

  5. AJ

    I think it’s an excellent idea: it guarantees that all their candidates will be dishonest and willing to play ball.

  6. Walt

    Dude –
    So the treatment is really starting to take shape. I have been working hard on it, while you have been just dicking around, doing who knows what.

    I am thinking we call it “Golden Showers – From a Fountains Perspective”. What do you think? It’s set in the fictional town of Grandwich, Ct. So the innocent will be protected. And we can avoid any nasty nuisance law suits. I have enough of those already, for Pete’s sake.

    But I need you to add some local color. For example, does Francis really have horns on his head? Does he really believe the crap he says, or is he just doing it for the money? Does he really have the personality of sheet rock? Or is that just an act? I need to know this to give the characters the right texture. I think Francis is the texture of jello, but I need you to validate. OK?

    And the Gar Evil Princess. I have never met her. I have written her as a fiery redhead, curtains to match, with a body to die for. Kind of like Jessica Rabbit on steroids. Am I in the ball park? If I am, can you arrange a lunch for us? My treat!!

    And I need to visit Cos Cob. Is that safe to do, or do I need security? And where is Riverside? And I need to interview some Greenwich blacks and Jews. Where do I find them?

    Then we need to go to some Day Spa’s, to find out what the women of Greenwich do all day. Not the Rub & Tug, you pervert. The classy ones. Where lezbo stuff probably goes on!! And bikini waxes!! I always wanted to learn how to do those. And then line up some tennis pro’s. They have tales to tell, I bet.

    When can you make the trip to L.A? You will love it Dude. Hotties in 5 inch heels, micros, with racks so big it’s a wonder they can stand upright. Not that you want them to. I kid you not.
    Your Pal,

  7. Anonymous

    I take it the Tea Party doesn’t have much of a presence in Laurens County.

  8. pulled up in OG

    Walt might be joining Robert Vesco if any of these pass.