I thought the French invented oral sex?

Surrender monkey

Anti-smoking ads equate cigarettes with  forced blow jobs for old men.

6 Comments

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6 responses to “I thought the French invented oral sex?

  1. AJ

    In our current what’s fair is foul and foul is fair world, it’s hard to say whether such ads might discourage or encourage smoking. Maybe they could spend a few hundred million in an attempt to find out. If only Edward Bernays was still around, they could just ask him.

    I think it’s time to stop picking on smokers, after all they choose to smoke, and address more serious health problems such as do we have the right to know whether our food contains GMOs, which in addition to potentially destroying the health of millions who would rather not eat spider-fish-monkey-tomatoes could also be the end of life as we know it.

  2. AJ

    Unlike carbon dioxide, which is essential to life: without CO2 all life on the
    planet would disappear, GMOs are a true threat to the planet (just google
    it). But then, carbon credits and cap-and-trade have nothing to do with
    saving the planet, and everything to do with bringing about
    one-world-government and a global tax on everything you do, including
    breathing.

    Though I fully support everyone’s right to smoke wherever and whenever
    they please (The whole second hand smoke argument is pure
    propaganda and absolute nonsense: the original World Health
    Organization’s study on the effects of second hand smoke found no
    epidemiological evidence of a link between second hand smoke and lung
    disease. However, since those were not the results everyone wanted to
    see, they changed them to be politically correct, science be damned. See:
    The WHO study at http://www.davehitt.com/facts/who.html), even if
    smoking doesn’t kill you, it will catch up with you. And my guess is that at
    your age it already has started to catch up with you and the effects of
    prolonged smoking are becoming readily apparent.

    Nicotine is NOT addictive: there is nothing in a nicotine “high” that anyone
    would crave. To discover the true affects of nicotine, just wait an hour or
    more before you smoke your first cigarette of the day, then be sure to
    smoke it while standing on your feet. What you will feel is slightly dizzy
    and nauseous, just like you did when you first started smoking before you
    became acclimated, or developed a tolerance, to nicotine. Oddly, what
    smokers are addicted to is breathing: they use breathing, or breath
    control to alter the way they feel much more than non-smokers do.

    For instance, while on a long drive and beginning to feel drowsy behind
    the wheel, a smoker will light-up to pick himself up, to stay awake and
    give himself energy. On the other hand, at the end of a long day a smoker
    will smoke to relax, to drain away built up stress and tension. So how
    does that work? How can a drug (nicotine) be a stimulant and a sedative
    at the same time, depending on whatever effect the user would choose.
    The short answer is a drug can’t be a stimulant and a sedative at the
    same time; the long answer is a cigarette can be both depending on how
    you smoke it: a long slow inhale and exhale to relax; a quick, short inhale,
    with a short or medium pressured breathing (forcing, or pushing, your
    breath out through tightly pursed lips — mountain climbing stuff)
    exhalation. So breathe the way you would when you smoke and you’ll feel
    the way you do when you smoke, nicotine has got nothing to do with it.

    Another important factor in the “addiction” of smokers is making physical
    contact with yourself. If you’ve ever been in an uncomfortable social
    situation, you’ve probably brought your hand up to your face and touched
    either your lips or your chin. You can see people on television in interview
    situations doing this all the time. Why? Because it instantly discharges
    built-up accumulated tension, and makes you feel normal again. It’s
    something you do when you smoke (and one of the reasons you smoke),
    and something you can do without a cigarette.

    Another reason people smoke is to change their circumstances, to shift
    forward from one moment to the next, to change the way that you feel.
    The best way to do this is to simply get up and stretch; it will accomplish
    the same shift forward out of your present moment. Also, stretching
    pushes out stale energy, both tiredness and tension, and pulls fresh
    energy into your body from the surrounding atmosphere. A yawn is a form
    of a subconscious mini-stretch, and it’s purpose is the above mentioned,
    to push out the stale energy and pull in the new — it’s instinctive, even
    cats and dogs do it.

    But the all important thing in quitting is killing your urge to smoke. How do
    you do that? You don’t, you can’t, but you can change the meaning of
    your urge to smoke, and thereby eliminate it. Everyone has this urge, this
    urge to move forward and change the way that they feel. For some people
    it’s an urge to just take a deep, mostly unconscious breath and sigh, for
    others it may just be an urge to get up and stretch or move about, and for
    some it’s an urge to eat. This urge has always been with you and you just
    have to re-learn how you responded to it before you trained yourself to
    respond by smoking a cigarette. Before you know it, not smoking will
    become your new habit that will meet all your needs that smoking fulfilled.
    I quit smoking twelve years ago, and haven’t smoked a single cigarette
    since, even though I live with a two pack-a-day smoker who has no
    interest in quitting, and am often surrounded by smokers (yes, anyone
    who wants can smoke as much as they want in my house). Twenty-two
    years ago I quit for three years, and though I’d read everything that was
    available on quitting, living with a smoker and constantly being
    surrounded by smokers, as well as never being able to completely
    eliminate the urge to smoke did me in. After another seven years of
    smoking — I truly did love to smoke — I figured out the above “secrets” to
    quitting, and haven’t needed or wanted to smoke a cigarette since. Quitting is easy, once you know how.

  3. The old man should be a Catholic priest

    Add religion and this ad would be realistic but more astonishing!

  4. Anonymous

    these ads will only encourage cf and other gays to smoke

  5. AJ

    Sorry guys no ad, no link to anything I’m selling, nor will there ever be: I prefer to remain anonymous. The link is to a sight I have no connection with that as far as I know, the last time I read it in full, isn’t selling anything other than the authors point of view. I am passionate, though, about destroying your health smoking something that doesn’t even get you high, even more passionate than I am about people who throw away their health and fortune by snorting cocaine, a stupid drug that brings on a self-induced anxiety attack until you take the edge off it by drinking yourself into oblivion, but then, that’s another essay about fools who threw away multi-million dollar fortunes getting their “friends” high or who dropped dead of heart failure after a week of non-stop snorting and drinking. Everything anyone needs to know to quit smoking is contained in the few paragraphs above for anyone who cares to try. You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink; it’s just my advice on smoking, take it or leave it. In my case, my breathing got so bad that if I hadn’t quit, I’d surely be dead of respiratory failure by now. Smoking is about breathing and has nothing to do with nicotine: mimic the way you breath when you smoke and you will be able to quit. I do like the religion idea though: maybe it’s time to figure out an angle and make some money off of the 1000 plus books on religion and psychology I have read. I’m exagerating, probably more like hundreds, but I’m not going to go upstairs and count them, there are thousands of books up there. What are they all about? No one ever said I was going to be tested, so you’ve got me? All I can tell you is I’ve read most of them, and you are what you eat.