Well this sucks

NOAA forced to declare that mermaids don’t exist. Elvis and Generalissimo Franco are still dead, the Easter Bunny was poisoned by Farmer MacGregor years ago and Obama’s not going to pay your mortgage.

Anderson Cooper, on the other hand, is as queer as the three-dollar-bill we knew him to be. Bottoms up!

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7 responses to “Well this sucks

  1. Walt

    Dude –
    This is absolute balderdash. Of course Mermaids exist. They made a documentary about it years ago, with Tom Hanks and John Candy. Candy was a genius by the way Dude. He checked out way too young. The fat bastard.

    What will they tell us next, no Fred Flintstone? He had a TV series for years. No Dr. Kildare? He did my proctology exams. And he was a homo too. NTTAWWT. And being gay is probably a plus if you are inspecting man ass, don’t you think?

    What will they try and convince us of next? That the Tele-Tubbies do not exist? Is Wonder Woman a mere figment of my imagination? Then who have I been tossing off to for all these years? There is no Bat Man? The guy has like 5 blockbuster flicks, for Pete’s Sake.

    Anyhows, sometimes it is nice to dream the impossible. Because sometimes it happens. And if you don’t dream it, it is never possible.
    Those are my deep thoughts for today. You frigging loser.

    Your Pal,
    Walt

  2. AJ

    Excerpts from your Anderson Cooper link (quotes from Anderson) :

    “…I’ve begun to consider whether the unintended outcomes of maintaining my privacy outweigh personal and professional principle.” [Professional principle? Surely, you jest.]

    “…the tide of history only advances when people make themselves fully visible.” [I did not know that history was on hold, waiting for Anderson to come out and tell us that his masculine side was also his feminine side in addition to his femine side. Top or bottom?]

    “…I believe there is value in making clear where I stand.” [I guess he hasn’t looked at his ratings lately; apparently not all that many people find much value in where Anderson stands — not too close to me on a crowded subway please.]

    Could this be Anderson’s descent into defending endless lawsuits, à la John Travolta? What would his namesake Cornelius Vanderbilt, who put his portrait on stock certificates in order to boost stock sales to women, say?

  3. anonymous

    Maybe the Scientologists were trying to get him.

  4. NRA

    3DB… Has a ring to it.

  5. Dollar Bill is a gay threesome?