Worse than a heart attack

I’d rather have paid full price

I’ve now experienced both and I can attest that, for driving home an awareness of one’s mortality, receiving an unsolicited Senior Discount at Dunkin Donuts does an even better job.
Anyone can have a heart attack; you have to really look old, at least to a young whippersnapper, to get a senior discount.

Damn, I was feeling pretty perky before that happened.


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11 responses to “Worse than a heart attack

  1. Earth Ocean Sky Redux

    Just wait, it does get better, when you actually are a senior, and all those discounts seem pretty great. I’m speaking from experience!

    Happy 4th from our house to yours. This darn rain has got me scrambling to contemplate Plan B for the gaggle coming at 10. Walt, we’re using many of your recipes!!
    XXOO to all.

  2. Cobra

    How about Walt’s recipes?

  3. Walt

    Dude –
    It may just be your clothes. You are wearing a cardigan sweater, and have your pants pulled up to your armpits, right? With a bow tie, and brylcreemed hair? Am I right? Of course I am!!

    You need to go for a younger look. Become a fashonista!! Go with a tie dyed wife beater and camouflage shorts. Wear flip flops and lose the Croc’s. Don’t wear knee high black socks. I know that will be hard for you. When you walk, keep your right hand on your nutsack. It is what all the cool kids do. I am not really sure why.

    Say ‘YO” a lot. Grow a ponytail, and always be texting. Call everyone ‘Bro”. Figure out how to use “shizzle” in a sentence.

    Go try this out and report back.
    Your Pal,

  4. Pensioner retires at 52

    To the govt, old is 52 so you can start collection of tax dollars while you work a second pension job. That will keep you young. While we maintain the pensioner lifestyle. Where are the activists against this?

  5. Al Dente

    Just for Men works wonders.

  6. I feel old when people assume that my father is my husband.

  7. Anon

    what would be the 4th without poking some fun at Obama?

  8. Al Dente

    And what would the 4th be without drunken idiots blowing themselves – and others – to smithereens!

  9. Funny you should say that, Al:

  10. The Duke of Deception

    A waitress here in Stonington offered the Duke a large plastic menu while he was ordering takeout from the small paper one. When told the one he held was fine, she said “but this one has bigger print”.

    F^*k you very much.

  11. relative value

    Ask a 20-something if they’ve ever heard of Cary Grant, Jimmy Stewart or John Wayne. Now these actors had their run even before my time, but it’s amazing how shallow younger people can be when it comes to cultural reference points.