Live blogging from the party

Looks promising from a fund raising perspective so far- mine’s the only pickup truck, and I’m the freeloader. Secret Service guy told me there’d been one Prius spotted but I alerted him that that undoubtedly belonged to a Democrat trouble maker.

6:10 haven’t sold a single house yet- this may not be the deal I thought It would be, even with the discounted ticket. Maybe I can interest Paul Ryan in a house up here if he loses the election (just heard motorcade arrive- I’ll go try)

7:10 Tackled by his bodyguards, but I did get one of those Sotheby’s color brochures (with my ID pasted over Gideon’s picture) under the windshield wiper- maybe the limo driver wants a house in Cos Cob ?
Congressman Ryan ( that’s how they refer to him here in the tent so why not?) spoke forcefully and well, laying out the issues – the Biden/Ryan debate is going to be a hoot. Dont bring popcorn, you’ll choke on it.


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20 responses to “Live blogging from the party

  1. Al Dente

    Look out for any cliffs, Ryan will push you and your truck over the edge.

  2. Someone forwrded me a craiglist ad calling for OWS protestors to meet on North. Did you see anyone on your way in the gates?

    • A couple butt they bounced off my hood and flew all the way down to Dickie Fuld’s place-300 yards if it was an inch. It’s all in the acceleration and flicking the wheel at just the moment of impact.

  3. Walt

    Dude –
    Are you really live blogging this Paul Ryan fundraiser at Cliff Assneses house? Why didn’t you tell me in advance, so I could write you some questions? I hope it is not too late, but here are my questions. OK?

    When you park your car, ask the Secret Service if your date Squeaky is there yet. And ask him if they have a practice target range available that you can use before you start to drink.

    Go inside. Act like you own the place. But don’t steal anything. When a waiter offers you a horse de…. a whore da vor…..when a waiter asks you if you want a cracker with squirrel shit on it, ask them if they accept food stamps.

    Ask Cliff if you can play with his super hero collection. He has one. NO SHIT!! Ask him who his favorite super hero is, and why. Nod your head like a retard, no matter what he says. Then, in mid-sentence, put your hands over your head, and fly off to the other side of the room, Superman style.

    Sidle up to the hottest chick in the room. Ask her where all the Lezbo’s are. If she tells you she has no idea, ask her if she would like you to go with her to find some. If she says yes, ignore the rest of this post.

    Paul Ryan will speak at some point. Be respectful. He will take some questions, but only a few. So when he asks is anyone has any questions, you need to jump up and down, with your hand in the air, and scream “ME ME ME”. If he picks someone else, don’t stop and he will eventually pick you.

    Thank him for taking your question, and tell him you are concerned about the direction of the Country. He will say something like “I am too”. So ask him, when he gets lost, does he use paper maps or GPS? He will look confused, so ask a quick follow-up. Ask him if he dislikes Barry more because he is a Democrat, or because he is black? Or a commie Muslim?

    At this point, you are getting tossed, but you can still get one more question off. So make it good. OK? Ask him if Mitt’s Magic Underwear is skid mark resistant, and if so, how much would the U.S distribution rights cost us? This could be a real steal Dude, and it is green friendly. We could clean up.

    Report back, and let me know if you need bail.
    Your Pal,

  4. Libertarian Advocate

    Not so funny that popcorn thang. I nearly chocked to death in the old Sony Cinema (resurrected as the Apple Store) back in the early nineties watching So I married an axe murderer. Fortunately there was someone there who knew the Heimlich maneuver. It was in the Greenwich Time, I’m real glad they never got my name.

  5. Peg

    A bridge buddy of mine is there! Guy with Gargoyle investments. Let me know if you want me to find out if he needs DIRT, Christopher!

    • I think he was the guy they arrested- kept screaming as they dragged him out, “but Walt TOLD me to ask about Mitt’s underwear- he TOLD me to!” didn’t have a chance to speak with him.

  6. Walt

    Dude –
    I hope you didn’t take my query on Mitts magic underwear to be demeaning? Did you? You racist slob.

    I see the entire world as equals. We all have our plusses and minuses, and we all even out in the end. Right? I view us all as equal opportunity assholes. You want proof? OK!!

    Take your Pollack’s. Yes, they are dumb, but they bowl great. And how good a scam did Jackson run? Dribble paint on a canvas and they all thought he was a genius. Greatest scam ever done!! Jackson Pollack, you dummy.

    The PR’s? A lovely people. Their plus? Latino chicks with bubble asses and big cans. And horny as hell. But they still bring knives to a gun fight and can’t escape the 60’s. Was Natalie Wood a Shark or a Jet? Her problem was she couldn’t float.

    The Jews. They have great sense of humor, but an inferiority complex. I don’t know why, because they control the financial system and the MSM. They are a smart people, yet they support Barry? That I don’t get. Those dumb bialys.

    Who else? The Irish. They could give a rat’s ass who is President, as long as they have beer, and get to keep banging without a rubber. But they have Maureen, so they can do no wrong in my eyes.

    The WASP’s? They are living in the past, have never met a “Negro” but they pay the bulk of the taxes. Just hoping they will never actually meet the rest of this group.

    Who cares about the rest of these mutts? And once they all start to think of themselves as Americans, instead of some miniscule racist minority, we won’t need this discussion.

    Correctamundo? You retard?
    Your Pal,

  7. anonyous

    How’s the decorating in the $80 million house? Better than Stanley Cheslock’s former $80 million house on Taconic? Same paint by numbers pictures? How’s the jousting arena? Any lions? Linda McMahon send over any wrestlers for entertainment? Dwarfs? What did they give you to eat? Was Peter Brandt there? Does he claim feudal rights on property at Conyers and go wherever he wants? Was Stephanie Seymour there tongue kissing her son? Was Peter Tesei there? Was he wearing red pants? Did they fit? As Suzy Knickerbocher used to say, “Who else would tell you these things?” Huh? Don’t wimp out just because Asness was nice to you and bought you off with a ticket that was free to him too.. Tell all.

  8. anon

    Greenwich Time the local newspaper of record reports here that Ryan did not go to Asness but to Scarsdale instead:

  9. Anonymous

    I told you that invitation was real, I’m so glad you followed up on it. Cliff Asness is a rock star for inviting the likes of you to his home, you lucky bastard. Good on ya.

    Did Frankie’s head explode when you gave him the news? 😆

  10. Riverside

    The Greenwich Time is wrong. He was at the Asness house (saw him myself).

  11. Libertarian Advocate

    The Greenwich Time is wrong.

    Oh, gee, that’d be a first.

  12. Another Reader

    Sounds like somebody was trying to fool the Greenwich Time reporter, and he took the bait.

  13. Balzac

    Today’s paper again shows the amateurism and bias of the Greenwich Time. The story on the Paul Ryan speech and reception used the word “fundraiser” 7 times, (plus again in the sub-headline). Also prominent were words intended to generate disgust such as “mega-donors… alienated…attack dog…assailed…accused.” The theme of the article is not well disguised: Ryan is just here to collect the money, and is distasteful.

    Another sentence: “Like many of the Romney’s wealthy Fairfield County fundraising bundlers, Morgan [a host] has a background in private equity.”

    Shall we expect the paper to write this sentence which would show the reporter’s even-handedness? “Obama’s largest Fairfield County fundraising comes from bundlers among the wealthy trial lawyer fraternity and the deep coffers of the largest public employee unions in the state.”

    Don’t hold your breath. Greenwich Time really is a garage-band newspaper.

  14. Obama lover (I’m told he’s donated near $1million) William (Bill) Mahoney – who was the guy that made millions raising all of Ray Dalio’s money for the alpha fund at Bridgewater Assoc- just got screwed over by another New Canaan hedgie he’d invested in. Mahoney and other investors are now suing Imbruce for investor fraud. I guess the Obama lovers need to learn how to do due dilly before they give their money away.

  15. LAK

    Did you really get tackled by a Bodyguard???? OMG! LOL

    Question for you since I spend more time on my cell than on the computer itself. Do you tweet or are on FB? I’d like to follow you that way if I can.
    If not, I have to manage to get on the computer more!