There’s still time, but here’s my candidate for the year’s most idiotic combination of headline and article

MSDCOHA EC007Man dies after eating 28 raw eggs. So far, so good: love these human interest stories. But after recounting how some dumb mutt lost a bet with a friend that he could consume 30 raw eggs, the article branches off into this useless piece of knowledge:

Whilst eggs cooked properly are a great source of protein and part of a healthy diet, raw eggs could cause food poisoning and may contain salmonella bacteria.

If you are making food demanding raw eggs, such as mayonnaise or ice cream, use pasteurised eggs to eliminate risks.

Whatever caused this poor man’s abrupt return to the land of his ancestors, I guarantee you it wasn’t food poisoning occasioned by eating a bad egg.


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7 responses to “There’s still time, but here’s my candidate for the year’s most idiotic combination of headline and article

  1. Walt

    Dude –
    Cool Hand Luke!! One of my all-time favorite flicks!! “What we got here is… failure to communicate”. A CLASSIC LINE!!

    And doesn’t Luke look EXACTLY like Paul Newman? Who was a Jew, by the way, and lived in Westport. Did he move there before we let Jews move in?

    Anyhows, Luke swallowed 50 eggs, and they were hard boiled, so they weighed more and are harder to eat. This Arab Tunisian wimp choked his chicken on only 20? So Luke swallowed TEN TIMES the eggs of an Arab!!

    They better knock off this Jihad crap, before we challenge them to an egg eating contest.

    Speaking of Arabs, did you know Will Morton’s closed? I was craving some pulled pork today, and he is gone. Where do we go to get good anti camel jockey food in Greenwich now?
    Your Pal,

  2. Luke Gardner

    How did I wind up a subject of this post? Also, I can’t remember ever having met you Walt. Was it at Beamers?

  3. Peg

    Most of the problems of the world in a nutshell (or should I say, eggshell?) Way too often, way too many of us are stupid beyond words. Alas; me included……….

    Happy New Year!

  4. Walt

    Dude –
    What time does your New Year’s Eve Party start?

    Do you want me to bring anything? Noise makers, hats, whoopee cushions, handcuffs, dildos, or do you have all of these?

    Is the Dick Clark, “your scribe” dude going to be there? I actually think he croaked earlier this year, so probably not, right? His “writing” won’t be missed. He makes you look like Hemingway.

    I am sure Ms. McBeal will be there. I noticed her sniffing around again lately, now that you are a “star”. That gold digger. That was sarcasm, Dude. A literary technique deploying a cutting, often ironic remark intended to sting. Learn something, you loser.

    But I digress. I am sure you have invited the GAR Evil Princess, who you have secretly lusted for all these years. I would like to meet her, try and heal old wounds, shove my tongue down her throat at midnight, and maybe give her a little finger bang, to show her there are no hard feelings between us, and start the year off right. I think she would appreciate that. Under the assumption she isn’t some pearl wearing ancient blue hair. In which case you can do it.

    How about any of your other new celebrity friends? You were on CNN. Will Larry King be there? A man after my own heart!! He has gotten more trim than the Barber of Seville! Or Erin Burnett? She is a hottie!! But she just got married. But maybe she likes threesomes!! Who doesn’t?

    Anyhows, let me know what time, and if it is a sleep over. And start working on your resolutions. I expect a long list.
    You load.

    Your Pal,

  5. kathy lee gifford Bombs On Broadway

    regis, are you laughing.
    devos family foot the bill thx to amway money
    extra wine at today show 10 am monday.

  6. Stephen Phillippo

    If the White Plains Newspaper wants to do some real journalism they should go make a list of the illegal gun owners. Now that’s a story.

  7. AJ

    Instead of sitting around sucking eggs, maybe the lefties should take heed of what this guy has to say: Oliver Stone to RT: ‘US has become an Orwellian state’

    After four years, I’m still scratching my head as to why what the left found abhorrent under Bush is peachy keen when Obama is doing it. How does that work? I thought lefties were intellectuals, so what got them to turn their brains off? They should be outraged.