When I die, I want to go like my grandfather, peacefully in my sleep

Not kicking and screaming like his passengers in the back seat.

Dispense with a horse!

Dispense with a horse!

Ford’s Lincoln Continental division announces new SUV to lure Land Rover’s younger buyers. That’s a good idea: the average age of a Lincoln buyer is 65 and many knew the division’s namesake personally, but judging from what I observe around town, it’s a temporary fix: the average Rover driver is in her mid-to-late 5os. What’s next, baseball cards in wheelchair spokes?


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23 responses to “When I die, I want to go like my grandfather, peacefully in my sleep

  1. Al Dente

    Obama is the new Lincoln. Call it a 2013 Barack and they’ll sell millions!

  2. Anon

    Apropos of your post title, not all Lincoln’s were designed to let you go peacefully. The 1961 continental was famous for its “suicide doors”. Not sure how or why the doors got so named. Maybe one of your resident car experts could opine.

  3. Reader

    It’s going to be a very long time before a Greenwich Mom is driving a Lincoln in the pickup line at GA, Brunswick, or GCDS.

  4. Atticus

    Lincoln is a dead brand. It’s what Mercury was, a fancier, uglier Ford.

    Ford knew that when it assembled its “Premier Auto Group”, PAG, from second-tier brands Volvo, Range Rover and Jaguar years ago – all of which are doing better w/o Ford. Lincoln became a taxi company.

    See Ford Fiasco:

    Ford thinks it’s a premium brand anyway – despite closing its New Canaan and Greenwich stores – judging by the pricing on its recent compacts and the Aston-maw bunker-styled Fusion – now known mainly for its engine fires.

  5. Atticus

    Car and Driver gave the new Lincoln “Worst of Show”:

    Worst Concept: Lincoln MKC Concept. Ford’s design department under J Mays seems to be falling back into an old pattern. Remember the Ford Five Hundred, a blatant ripoff of Peter Schreyer’s Volkswagen B5 Passat? I can just imagine Mays ordering Lincoln chief designer Max Wolff to take an Audi Q5 and morph it to the Ford Escape’s package. From the side window opening to the wraparound tailgate, the MKC is embarrassingly lacking in originality. Several Ford designers have worked in Audi and VW design, but shouldn’t they be allowed to move on?

  6. anonymous

    FORD: Found On the Road Dead. A great man and a great car.

  7. Greenwich Gal

    When I was a freshman in college, I was given my great grandfather’s Lincoln (don’t know the year, guys know that stuff) to drive back and forth to school. It had huge fins out the back and was an enormous beast of a car! You could easily fit 5 girls in the back sofa seat and 4 in the front. Needless to say, even more girls were crammed in as we took “the beast” out for joyrides and to parties. The car was amazingly high tech for it’s time and it felt like a boat, floating along the streets.
    I’m sure I was given that car because no matter what stupid thing I might have done – I would have been protected inside that giant, hulking metal automobile. It was a riot and I will never forget that car. Good times.

  8. Anonymous

    A car called the “Obama” ? how about one called the “OJunkie” or
    “OLoser” or maybe the “OLemon” We could name the entire series after major political leaders that have helped destroy our country thru the years. We could have the “OBoozer” = for those that like to leave the political parties drunk and drive women off in pools of water to be left to die. Bent up fenders and scratched paint optional.

  9. Balzac

    Lincoln: the man….the car….the tunnel.

  10. Fred2

    “the average age of a Lincoln buyer is 65 “… and have been for decades.

    Shouldn’t someone design a car for older people?

    • The Carswell Model? (“Shouldn’t mediocre people have a representative on the Supreme Court?” – actual question posed in his defense by a senator during confirmation hearings)

  11. Anonymous

    find me a good domestic car that seats 5 comfortably like a modern lincoln continental. smooth, plenty fast, and well-appointed (for what it is/costs–obviously it’s not a mercedes). ford killing that car is making car service/limo drivers scratching their heads, and me (as a frequent user of such services) wondering what miniaturized sedan i’m going to have to stuff my fat ass into.

    it was bad enough bloomberg getting rid of crown vics. do you know how ridiculous it is trying to cram just the wife, kid and a couple of shopping bags in a prius cab or one of those ford escape hybrid cabs? they’re fine if you’re 4′ 8″ and 13 years old and 90lbs fully soaked, but anything more than that, good luck.

    • Wait until Obama’s rules for cars take full effect in 2025 – a Cooper Mini will be a fond memory of a time when two people could ride in the same car at the same time. And Congress, the same people who took away incandescent light bulbs, is letting it happen.

  12. Anonymous

    i talked to a limo driver the other day who said the company owner is scouring the country to buy used late-model black or grey continentals with lo mileage, buying everywhere from old people listing classified ads to auctions.

    they’re easily a 500k mile car if maintained properly. very well made, reasonable to fix, half decent mileage (lo 20’s), and they (ford) just got the thing dialed right. and of course now they’re killing it thanks to eco-mandates.

    one of the few caucasian, clear-english speaking cabbies left in nyc (who owns 2 cars) told me apart from the russian mafia buying thousands of medallions and now effectively controlling the industry, the tiny replacement car thing is killing his economics (many people wave him on in his escape hybrid, because they know they won’t fit). he’s hoping to retire soon. medallions are right around a million bucks nowadays, which will keep him comfy in leisure suits in florida.

    i can remember when they were a little over a 100k, which is when i began to pay minor attention to it.

  13. AJ

    The idea of the “suicide door” is so the both doors open away from the center just like the french doors you would find on a house. This is to create the atmosphere of a horse drawn carraige where the front seat looks backwards and the back seat looks forward, and have therefore, a central entrance, not a front and back entrance, and in a way, no front or back seats. This would be the idea in the Lincoln Continental, that there is no front seat or back seat, and all passengers travel like royalty.

    ‘Suicide Doors Car Styling’
    “Suicide Doors are doors that are hinged on the opposite side to the present-day type doors and swing open from the front as opposed to the rear. Horse-drawn coaches of the time featured doors similar to the French Doors found in homes and this car styling design was incorporated in some of the very early automobiles.”

  14. Atticus

    Not really. The Continental was meant to be the Thunderbird.
    Both were built off the same platform – which was long enough for two doors but not four hung conventionally.

    The suicide doors remedied that.

    They next looked at the four-door seating buck to see how much room there was for egress. The front seat was fine, but when Johnson got into the back seat, he couldn’t get his foot back out without kicking the door. At that point, both Johnson and Davis realized a Lincoln with a wheelbase short enough to please VP Robert McNamara would never work with conventionally configured doors.
    In his previous assignment, Johnson had been chief engineer at Continental Division when a Mark III Berline proposal was built with back doors that were hinged at the rear. He suggested that the back doors of the 1961 Lincoln be hinged the same way so the thickness of the doors would no longer present an egress problem.
    When he proposed the rear “suicide” doors, Johnson also suggested doing away with the B-pillars entirely, and locking the doors to the floor and to each other, as he had done on the Mark III Berline mockup.