7-year-old gnaws Pop Tart into a mountain, teacher sees a gun, he’s suspended for two days

Sandy Hook II averted

Sandy Hook II averted


7-Year-Old Joshua was suspended this morning from Park Elementary School in Brooklyn Park [Maryland]. Joshua says he was eating a pastry during snack time and trying to shape it into a mountain, the teacher said it looked like a gun and took him to the principal’s office. Joshua’s parents were called, he has been suspended for two days. Joshua’s father says it’s ridiculous since no one was threatened or harmed by the pastry. A letter will be going home to all students of Park Elementary School this afternoon. School officials declined to comment due to privacy issues


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17 responses to “7-year-old gnaws Pop Tart into a mountain, teacher sees a gun, he’s suspended for two days

  1. These “educators” are ruining our country.

  2. Al Dente

    In the name “pop tart” I believe “pop” sounds like a gunshot, and you could be severely punished for even publishing this story.

    And why is there an octagonal blueberry dragon next to my name?!

  3. Libertarian Advocate

    Al Dente: Quit griping. I got a crab lice as an avatar.

    Anyway, teachers today are incapable of teaching critical core subjects like math, English, History or any science other than Al gore’s Ponzi scheme pseudo science “Globullshit Warming” yet their subjective interpretations of a pop tart art is to be given credit? We are doomed!

  4. Peg

    Half of America has gone nuts.

    And Al Dente – your avatar’s better than mine😦

  5. Anonymous

    All the recent mass shooters have been Democrats.

    The 5% of the population responsible for 75% of the violent crime are professional voters for the Democratic party.

  6. TheWizard

    This is madness.
    Henceforth, all prospective teachers should spend a mandatory year on a working farm.
    Some good perspective can be had that way, and it’s obvious it’s needed.

  7. Anonymous

    So if your child doesn’t eat a carrot fast enough it can be seen as a shiv? How about a baked potato as a hand grenade? Cake as a block of C4?

  8. anon

    These “teachers” need a lesson from Thomas Paine and Philip Howard. The latter, my hero, founder of an organization called the Common Good and author of several books, my favorite called The Death of Common Sense that was used as a text book in one of my chidlren’s high school classes.

  9. Far, far more violent than a loaded Pop Tart are some of the lyrics from some of the popular songs.

    What about this oldie from the Beatles:

    “Joan was quizzical, studied metaphysical
    Science in the home
    Late nights all alone with a test-tube
    Maxwell Edison majoring in medicine
    Calls her on the phone
    “Can I take you out to the pictures
    But as she’s getting ready to go
    A knock comes on the door…

    Bang, bang, Maxwell’s silver hammer
    Came down upon her head
    Bang, bang, Maxwell’s silver hammer
    Made sure that she was dead.”

    And that’s just the first verse!

    And speaking of Maxwell’s Silver Hammer, the Superintendent of the Anne Arundel County Public School system, on whose watch this asinine disciplinary action is occurring, is Kevin M. Maxwell, Ph.D.

    Maxwell’s Silver Hammer indeed!

    According to the Anne Arundel County Public Schools website, Dr. Maxwell’s e-mail address is superintendent@aacps.org .

    And, while we’re providing e-mail addresses, the members of the Anne Arundel County Board of Education also have e-mail addresses:


    Sandy Blondell, the Principal of Park Elementary School, has apparently taken pains to not publicize her own e-mail address, but I would suggest the possibility that hers is sblondell@aacps.org .

  10. Walt

    Dude –
    This little douche bag got exactly what he deserved. He isn’t even pop tart worthy.

    He is an oatmeal kid. Just look at him. He has the fat chubby little red cheeks, with squinted eyes and lips, squeezing out an olive loaf from his big fat lard ass, and making a spectacle of himself, just so no one else can eat.

    This little kid is vermin. His chemically enhanced, Lego built Greenwich Mommy should wake up to that fact.

    If the snot nosed little brat doesn’t come around, tell him to take the pop tart, shape it as a dildo, and shove it up his hairy little ass.

    You agree?
    Your Pal,

  11. Anonymous

    I might not go quite as far as Walt, but I think there may be a grain of truth in what he writes. In the video this kid is just about the shiftiest looking 7 y/o I have ever seen. And when he’s asked the final question “Did you mean to do it?” watch his eyes: he’s lying.

    • I couldn’t care less if he chewed his Pop Tart into the shape of an atom bomb – the point is not the veracity of a seven-year-old, it’s the hysterical reaction of adults charged with our children’s education who can’t distinguish between reality and what the hear on TV.

  12. kimchi

    Soon, 5 year old girls will be arrested for solicitation when their underwear are showing. Teachers will claim the kid is trying to seduce them.

    I’m a purple heart! Bite me.

    • peg

      Kimchi – here you are incorrect. Plenty of the teachers want to seduce the children! So – they won’t rat ’em out. Just will be delighted that the sluts-in-training are onboard with the program.

  13. Artie

    Next thing you know, he’ll be breaking into Rikers…