Food fight at Democrat Picnic (Dollar Bill, center)
“Wealth should hurt”* Greenwich Democrat Chairman Francis Fudrucker proclaimed as he announced his candidacy for the Board of Estimate and Taxation yesterday. “And while I certainly appreciate the efforts of my fellow Democrats who have served on our BET for the past three decades, it is time to thank them for their service and move on. I’ll be running with John Blankley to replace two of those
dead-wood pansies, members, and we expect to win. Like me, John too has been rejected by the voters of Greenwich so we both know pain, we both know humility, but we also know that BET seats are assigned, not contested, so here’s our chance to smack you people in the face and make you pay, for past indignities and future swimming pools. In fact, I believe the appropriate expression here is nananananana.”
Fudrucker and Blankely’s palace coup left the present Democrat incumbents shaken and miffed: “We’ve tried to spend like Democrats, William Finger wailed, “we’ve tried so hard! But those Republicans wouldn’t let us! Oh what could we do, what could we do?”
As he shuffled off, defeated, Finger said there is no debate among Democrats about incurring more debt.
“Every member of the Democratic caucus is supportive and in favor of long-term bond financing,” Finger said. “We are now and have always been. For anybody to say otherwise is making an inaccurate statement.”
Too bad BET seats aren’t contested, because this would otherwise make for a fun election. As it is, there will be no chance to debate spending and how much to increase it (Republicans say, “a whole lot”, Democrats say, “a whole, whole lot, and let’s pile on debt to do it.”). But because the parties have split the job into twelve non-elective appointments, six for each side to distribute as it sees fit, there will be a certain amount of climate-threatening hot air released at the parties’s respective clam bakes but nothing of substance will be discussed, or done. Which, presumably, is how we like it here in the land of steady habits.
*Our lawyers suggest we mention that we made this quote up – Ed.