Light Blogging this Weekend

I’ll be out of town for the next few days, with Internet access, maybe, by Sunday. Other than perhaps a few iPhone posts, you guys are on your own for a while. Behave yourselves.

127 Comments

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127 responses to “Light Blogging this Weekend

  1. Al Dente

    Don’t tell us what to do. You’re not our boss.
    Ok, everyone, let’s wreck the place.

  2. Mickster

    Don’t let the door hit you in the ass on your way out!!

  3. Peg

    How come I wasn’t invited!?!

  4. LAK

    No excuse, I use my iPhone for all my conversing!

  5. housecat

    Party at Fountain’s house!! Walt, if you promise to bring the entertainment, I can throw in a few bottles of MD20/20. Don’t worry, CF, we’ll take good care of the place while you’re gone.

  6. Mark B.

    I’ll be curled up in a fetal position sucking my thumb and doubting my own existence.
    Have fun.
    Irresponsible cad.

  7. EOSredux

    Be very very quiet …but have fun.

  8. TheWizard

    I know this concept has been beaten into the ground, but I still enjoy it.

    Imagine if George W Bush had enacted a sweeping new law controlling a large portion of the economy and giving jurisdictional powers to the IRS, and its implementation were a complete disaster.

    Just imagine what the lovely, quiet tones of NPR would be saying then.

    • Peg

      Wiz – you surely don’t mean that you think their broadcasts would be ANY different than they are currently, do you?

      Bwaaaaaaaaaaaahahahhaaahha!

  9. Anonymous

    archery season for deer?
    fall turkey season?

  10. Al Dente

    Report from The Fountain compound: Things are getting a bit rowdy. Someone let some Port Chesteranians in, and the music is exceeding acceptable levels. Reports of nudity in the sauna, I will investigate. From the live-cam:

  11. Walt

    Dude –
    Are you spending the weekend at Mama San’s House of Yanks? You just couldn’t help yourself, now could you? You weak little man.

    Anyhows, have fun. Order the “reverse global cowgirl” from that slant eyed little hottie, Mi Fuk Yu. You won’t regret it.

    And email me the admin credentials, and I will have this place hopping while you are gone. It’s getting a little stale. I will add some light porn, a bondage section – I know you like that – and an advice page. My first bit of advice? Don’t shoot your foot off.

    You loser. Enjoy.
    Walt

  12. Riverside Chick

    What tatoo are you going to get??? I vote for the Johnny Walker Black guy! That would look awesome on your shoulder!

  13. housecat

    Hey, some guy just showed up in full drag. He said he was a friend of Frank’s, so we let him in. Hope that’s okay! 🙂

  14. Pete

    Wish you were here.

  15. Riverside Chick

    OMG- Walt just took some Molly and he’s twerkin like crazy!!!

  16. housecat

    Okay, just let me say first off that it was a total accident. One of the strippers got into an argument with another one about who had the biggest – never mind. I’m sure it will come out with a little baking soda. Oh, and apparently, you are now out of eggs.

  17. Mark B.

    WHY are there no FIRE EXTINGUISHERS in this kitchen…?!?

  18. housecat

    Dude I just peed on your carpet.

    • Mark B.

      Man, I totally could’ve used you in the kitchen…

      • Cos Cobber

        Permanent marks of a good time – ‘fire in the kitchen’ and ‘peed on your carpet’ – good work.

        • housecat

          Now, now, CC. Don’t play innocent for CF’s sake. I SAW you. If you take it to the dump this morning, he probably won’t even know it’s missing.

        • Cos Cobber

          Dump run? Nah, that’s what the ditch is for. I know he fancy’s that salt ditch of his, but its not just because he’s ‘ocean’ front, its because you can dump crap in it and watch the tide pull it out to Tod’s over the course of winter. Heave-ho – out goes that old sofa and that musty green lazy boy.

          Now where is that potato launcher he built a couple years back…

  19. Walt

    Who dropped the deuce?

  20. Here’s one for ya next week….I thought Ruthie was pleading not guilty? Apparently she is trying to cut a plea.

  21. Walt

    Dude –
    Where are you? Traipsing the woods like a homo, trying to shoot Bambi? Or a quick trip to Southeast Asia, hopping on as many LBFM’s that you can get a hold of? Then riding them like the energizing bunny. You perverted little slob.
    When are you coming back?

    Your Pal,
    Walt

  22. EOSredux

    Hate to change the party mood here but Cobra, other car peeps, what year is this Mustang I saw today? Do you think its real or a kit? The tail lights didn’t seem to match the other parts of the car.

    • Cobra

      First Generation…’64 1/2 or ’65.

      • Cobra

        Might be a ’66. Appears to have a small block, 289 c.i. emblem on the side front quarter just behind the headlight.

        • Walt

          It is a 65 Mustang Humpback. So named for the back seat activities. They could have named it submarine rides, but didn’t for some reason. Or the spread leg lick em.
          Anyhows, a classic car.

        • The little badge behind the front wheel indicates it is a “GT” which denotes the solid lifter 271 hp version of the 289. The red rocker panel stripe came with that too I’m pretty sure. The one to have in any case.

  23. Joey

    What time is the party starting tonight? Are liberals invited?

  24. Anonymous Citizenette

    Uh oh, somebody just drank the last Colt 45. TOGA TOGA

  25. housecat

    Walt: did you remember to let that guy out of the basement?

    • Mark B.

      …yeah, about that…
      When the guy showed up, Walt had hammered enough molly to kill Charlie Sheen, and he thought the dude was one of the village people. Talks him into goin’ down to the basement, and it turns out he actually WAS a cop…
      ..anybody heard from Walt…?

      • housecat

        Speaking of which, Walt, buddy: CandyCane and Twilight said you still owed them for Wednesday, and that you “better get your s*** out of Julio’s apartment.” I figured you’d know what that meant.

  26. Al Dente

    This evening’s soirée was quite pleasant until some hooligans from Town Hall showed up and there was a problem with the pastries:

  27. jB

    I stopped by but you weren’t there. DollarBill showed me around. I’ll be on the boat.

  28. Walt

    You ruv her rong time Dude?

  29. Anonymous

    Dates in History !
    Rock The Boat First Annual Fountain Festival

  30. Walt

    Dude –
    Why is it that we are in constant pursuit of the love button? How do women deal with that? They have the pleasure palace right there, no guard, so why not go for it all day long?

    Are they not diddling all day? With their finger on the trigger? If not, why? If you actually had the pleasure button at your disposal, at all times, how do you not diddle it? WHY!! It’s like having a virtual Pez Dispenser at your fingertips.

    I wish I had one. A love button, not a Pez Dispenser, you retard. I would pick a baldy. How about you Dude? I suspect you are an old fashioned carpet guy.

    Nothing wrong with that, especially if they are a ginger.
    Do you agree?
    You homo. NTTAWWT.
    Your Pal,
    Walt

  31. Walt

    Dude –
    And if I had a love button, I think I would stay home and play with it all day. Why not?

    I think that is how life evolved. Men found a love button they liked, then let it stay home all day, while they worked, and then came home so they could play with the love button.

    But the love button got bored staying home all day alone, while the guy worked to support his love button, so she strayed to another love button tickler.

    Then she divorced the guy, who was at work all day, just waiting to get home to play with the love button, and she took half his stuff.

    The morale of the story?

    Love Buttons are expensive, Dude.
    Your Pal,
    Walt

  32. housecat

    Okay, well it looks like LA and Mark B were able to bail Walt out, after all. I’m just leaving now. Place looks pretty good. CosCobber decluttered the living room a bit – you didn’t want the elk head anymore, right? The smoky smell is mostly gone – we just left some of the windows open all night. Worked like a charm. It should be gone completely in a few weeks. Maybe a month. The goat is yours, yes? I left it in your bedroom for you. Oh – and did you have a boat?

    • LMNOP

      @Housecat: I’m impressed you were not only able to party hardy all night, but managed to oversee the clean-up crew this morning. What’s your hangover secret?

      • housecat

        Oh no – I can’t take credit for that. Walt’s friends Candy and Twilight said they’d take care of everything. You know, those girls were so nice, they even organized CF’s dresser drawers! I didn’t have to do a thing. I told them they were welcome to come and clean my house anytime. We just laughed and laughed at that. Walt has such nice friends.

  33. Walt

    Dude –

    DUDE!! Lou Reed died today. LOU REED DUDE!! Do you have any idea how significant he was, you insignificant little carpet crawler. The man was a genius. Listen to this, then call yourself a writer. You disappearing little hack.

    LOU REED MAN!!!
    Your Pal,
    Walt

  34. Walt

    Dude –
    The passing of Lou Reed has made me most morose. You hemorrhoid.

    The man defined a generation. He produced magic. While you still spend your time traipsing the woods, picking up deer turds, smelling it with your disgusting little nose, feeling their warmth, in an effort to blow their brains out. You savage. How does that make any sense?

    When are you back?

    Brunch? You loser.

    Your Pal,
    Walt

  35. Walt

    This is writing. You loser.

  36. Greenwich Gal

    WALT….Dude.
    Lou Reed was living on borrowed time. He lived large, dangerously, and truly walked the wild side and got to 71. Pretty lucky, in my opinion. Celebrate his life and no whining – Lou would encourage you to adknowledge his life, man up and move on. Walk your own wild side – which I know you do.
    As for the prior conversation regarding women sitting around all day playing with their “love button.” That ain’t gonna happen – as you have surmised already – but I will tell you why.
    WE ARE TOO F’in BUSY!
    We are single handedly responsible for the perpetuation of the species, darling. You males may plant the seed and your work is done (which is part of the grand problema) but ours is just beginning.
    It is an awesome responsibility.

    • gee whiz, GG. I hope you’re not saying that fathers just “phone in” their role after seed planting. nevertheless, yeah, the cycle of life continues

      • Greenwich Gal

        Many do a great job, but on the whole, you have to admit that the job of rearing the children rests with the female. It all boils down to basic biological imperitive.

      • LMNOP

        You must not have watched the Bette Davis movie on TCM last night called Mrs. Skeffington. Nor read Mommy Dearest. There are Plenty of mothers in this world with zero biological imperative. Lots have the biological skill to make babies but to care for them? I don’t agree with your analysis.

  37. What was his LGBT stance ?
    Hit ?

  38. Peg

    OK. It’s Monday – e.g., the weekend is OVER.

    Where the hell are you?!

  39. Walt

    Dude –
    JESUS H. CHRIST!! How long does it take you to assassinate a deer? I could reach out of my kitchen window and strangle one of those little vermin at will. And what does the H stand for?

    Anyhows, we need you back. GG has already rendered all people possessing a peni…penises….all people having a joystick as useless. And Housecat can out party me.

    This place is turning into a dump Dude. It is becoming, dare I say it, COS COB!! What should we do? What would Arnold do?

    Your Pal,
    Walt

  40. Walt

    Dude –
    And while you are out there, can you please find out what the fox says?

    And does a bear shit in the woods? I am pretty sure it does, but bring back some proof. You loser. And find out if the Pope is really Catholic while you are at it.
    And how do they shave those things? AMAZING!!
    Your Pal,
    Walt

    • Cos Cobber

      Dude, this is so last week…but nice to see it finally made it to your circle.

    • To answer your question: the current pope is a Jesuit. Hmmm… I guess that doesn’t really answer the question, does it?

      Oh well, what I can do for you is to suggest a couple of other Ylvis videos — Stonehenge and The Cabin. There are others as well, but most are in Norwegian, which is like messed up German. English is also messed up German, so you’d think they’d be interchangeable, but for some reason it doesn’t quite work that way.

  41. Walt

    Dude –
    Did you go to Phuket without me? YOU WEASEL!!

    Did you board a plane, with no luggage and $500 of crisp singles? Plus a gallon of EZ Glide? Did Mi Taste Like Tuna meet you at the airport?

    Have you spent the last 48 hours in a hedonistic, monkey sex filled orgy? Have you been melded to Tug Mi Wang since you landed?
    You PERVERT!!

    Anyhows, can you ask Do Mi Wong to call me? Thanks!!
    Your Pal,
    Walt

  42. LMNOP

    Saw this Walk of Shame lady leaving your party early Sunday. Who brought her?

    (PS: she went to church in this same outfit she partied with you all in).

  43. Today’s Greenwich Time opinion page has surrendered several column-inches to a tale (Associated Press, I think) of someone whose son got cancer-or-something, and could only be saved by that stunning work of compassion, brilliant management and foresight known as Obamacare, which enabled Jr. to be on Dad’s insurance.

    Don’t you love it when the paper tries to manipulate your emotions, all in the service of the messiah’s glory? Obama saved my family! The Republicans want my son to die! GET IT, READER, you dumbshit?

    Meanwhile, in the real world, Barry’s government gave itself 3 years from passage of the Obamacare law to the opening of the online marketplaces, in order to push the predictable chaos to a date after the 2010 and 2012 elections, to protect Obama’s political position. AND THEY STILL MISSED THE DEADLINES, due to ineptitude, disorganization, conflicting directives, 55 subcontractors but no overall responsible chief, political interference, major ass-covering…….. Elementary competence is evidently not a skill acquired in a career of community organizing.

    Can you imagine the headlines if Bush had been responsible for this?

    Every serious paper and broadcast outlet is covering the serious disaster of the Obamacare roll-out. Yet the Greenwich Time has no respect for an inquisitive reader, providing only happy-talk for liberals. Please remind me why we subscribe to this pos.

    • Cobra

      “Please remind me why we subscribe to this pos.”
      I cancelled my subscription years ago for the very same reason you describe…severe Libtard editorial bias combined with paucity of any relevant news on local, regional, or even national levels. If content can’t be easily cut and pasted from AP or other syndicated sources, it won’t make it into the Greenwich (Don’t Waste Your) Time. Truly a steaming pile of excrement.

    • Joey

      I thought the rule was no talking about obamacare in the hot tub!!!

  44. Anon

    Somebody needs to wake Chris up and tell him he slept through Monday.

  45. housecat

    My vote is that the whole bow-hunting thing is just a cover. He’s actually running around in the woods with a bunch of fellow LARPers re-enacting various scenes from Game of Thrones.

  46. Greenwich Gal

    MAYBE, just maybe…CF met someone? He is in love? He has fallen head over heels for some lady! Oh my – that could be just what the guy needs!

  47. Al Dente

    I’m thinking that he was attacked by a gay deer. It could happen.

  48. LMNOP

    I read CF’s post to mean he’d be gone several days, NOT that he’d be back Sunday only maybe by then he’d have Internet access to comment.

    The other times he’s gone hunting, to upstate NY and Pennsylvania, he’s been gone more than the weekend.

    Who has a good Tuesday Topic?

    • Back Tuesday night! So far, deer 1, hunters 0, and it’s likely to remain that score (or deer, 10 to zero).. I’m enjoying the vacation from blogging, though.

      • towny

        whew!
        was starting to worry that u went to moodus and the paulmeno crew caught up with you

      • housecat

        Oh behave. We’re on to you, King Joffrey. I think Walt has had to go into therapy, though.

        Aside from a great party (thanks for the use of your digs, btw), you haven’t missed much in GreenTown, other than yet another insipid quote in the paper from Disciple Tamm. She’d like more affordable housing on the Eastern side of town… Because housing is one of those things the BOE is in charge of… Apparently.

        Hope your goat isn’t too lonely after such a long absence! I’m sure it had plenty to eat, though.

  49. But, but, but, you’re missing the Tuesday OPEN HOUSE tour!!!!!!!

  50. Al Dente

    I’m thinking Hawaiian Luau party? Pig roast? Does Whole Foods sell the entire pig? I never get tired of this song:

  51. Peg

    So Chris is out slaughtering Bambi and we are here, withering on the vine, while The One is getting slaughtered (miracle of miracles) even within the MSM.

    Come back, kiddo! We neeeeeed you!

    • LMNOP

      What MSM channel are you watching where Obama is getting slaughtered? I’ve caught mild disapprovement, some David Gregory hand-wringing, even 60 Minutes questioning, but that’s like using a BB gun on a deer. I want some howitzer action. I want Obama to feel the pain if the media against him like Bush endured. Only then will I be thoroughly happy.

      • George Leroy Tirebiter

        Obama’s front group (OFA) wants to know what you think about Obamacare, and what you’re hearing. After you respond to the following survey, they are even asking you to forward the survey to others. I think as good Americans, everyone should indeed do those things.

        http://my.barackobama.com/ACA-Survey

      • Peg

        LMNOP – that they are reporting a fraction of the horror he is commiting I consider to be a minor miracle – AKA – slaughter!

  52. Was that the channel that was on all the time in the outhouse ?

    • Al Dente

      I watched a movie the other night, “The Happening” where New Yorkers commit mass suicide. That’s what this will be. Idiots.

      • Let’s just hope he’s a one term mayor. Like it or not, NYC is the economic body we orbit.

        • Cos Cobber

          You are absolutely right. But I’m not so sure he’ll be a one termer. You need a big story – a big personality to overcome the massive advantage democrats have in the city. Is there really another Rudy or Bloomie out there?

  53. Fred2

    The funniest thing about these messages.

    I’m pretty sure if the regulars showed up and had a party at Herr Fountain’s establishment while he was out…

    A. The neighbors would only know when the saw the overflowing recycling bin of bottles the next day.
    B. The place would be cleaner after they left. (Oy, who mowed the lawn?)

  54. Is there really another Rudy or Bloomie out there Bloomturd is no Giuliani, but lots of New Yorkers still think he’s a Republican. He was a lifelong Demoncrat until 2001, when the NYC dems picked Mark Green as their mayoral candidate. Surely knowing what a complete idiot Green is, Bloomie switched parties and ran as a Republican. A few months after he won, he quietly shed his Republican cape and re-registered as an Independent.

    • Cos Cobber

      Your missing my point LA. We all know Bloomberg was hardly a Republican. However, look at the crop of candidates this cycle and look who’s on city council. Bloomberg is going to look like Barry Goldwater four years from now.