Hair shirts for the faithful

These are, I kid you not, real Christmas seasonal gifts for the tree hugger set.  CNS News has the scoop. How can people so stupid, so gullible, be winning the war? If I were the type to lie down and cry, I’d find all this depressing.

Pine Needle underwear  –  $38 – from France, of course.

Bamboo Smartphone AmplifierBamboo Smartphone Amplifier

Bamboo Amplifier – This product almost looks like it’s fresh out of a sitcom. Take your smartphone and slip it in the slot on an empty piece of bamboo. Voila, it “boosts the sound on your smartphone without wires or batteries.” This bambeco product is based on the fancy technology we used as kids when we’d roll up a baseball program and shout into it for improved sound. It’s a Vuvuzela for your smart phone. For only $38, be the silliest person in your composting discussion group.

Water Pebble – Also from the nature nuts at bambeco, your own personal shower scold. This “clever device sits over your shower drain and signals you via a series of gently flashing lights when your shower is almost over and when it’s time to get out.” Bambeco calls it a “traffic light for your shower,” instead of a terrifying peak into some “Dune” future where the left limits our water supplies too. It’s only $14, a drop in the bucket, so to speak.

New America Game – Brought to you from liberals who don’t like the old America. You can find this now classic board game at the EcoChoices Natural Living Store, which also sells the Earth Game (“not a war game but a peace game!”). In New America, “Players act as Research and Development teams trying to redesign North America’s Social-Economic System before it’s too late.” It’s “designed to provoke discussion among mature, thinking people!” That leaves out the pro Obamacare crowd. Only $34.99, plus your man card if you are a cis-gendered, hetero male.

Stoneware Compost Container – At $100, this is like the Cadillac of indoor compost containers. “Keep your organic matter sealed tight and your house smelling great as you create valuable fertilizer with this sleek stoneware composter.” On the upside, it also weighs eight pounds and has a handle, so you can use it to fend off burglars who figure you have money to burn. Eight pounds? Plus the grapefruit rinds? You’re supposed to haul that where, the air shaft?

3 Comments

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3 responses to “Hair shirts for the faithful

  1. Cos Cobber

    After reading your post I booked it to Riverside McDonalds, scarfed down a greasy meal, toss my wrappers on the sidewalk and returned to take a 30 min hot shower. Ahhh, feeling better now. Big day of excess consumption tomorrow, best to turn in early.

  2. Cos Cobber

    Btw, its pretty much a lock one of your new age kids put one of these items under the tree for ya! 😉

  3. LInda in Poughkeepsie

    Ah, the cute knee high socks were sold out. No wonder you didn’t post them. They looked cute with the high heels. Walt must have bought them out.
    http://www.buygreen.com/g9.8kneehighsocks.aspx