Rocks that are next to each other in Massachusetts now were also next to each other 400 million years ago.
– Geology, Amherst College
Jellyfish don’t like it when you acidify their tank.
– Marine Biology, St Andrews
Look at this zombie. Isn’t it racist and sexist? Yes, it is.
– English Literature, DePaul University
FML: All my feelings are constructed.
– Religion & Women and Gender Studies, Harvard
People get really bored listening to beeping for an hour, but they’ll do it when professors require experiment credit.
– Psychology, University of Chicago
Once there were some lost lobsters who were maybe a tiny bit different from some other lobsters, so I killed lots of their larvae to find out if they were actually a tiny bit different. Turns out I don’t know, so I have to do it again.
– Earth Systems, Stanford University
Just because there’s a bike lane on your street doesn’t mean your rent will be higher. Or lower. Bikes are statistically insignificant to your rent.
– Economics, Reed College
Online ads that claim you are the 100000th visitor are surprisingly effective.
– Computer Science, Harvard
I wanted to see if I could make a really really small circuit. I concluded that, yes, I can make a really really small circuit.
– Physics, Northwestern University
Mark Rothko was a huge asshole.
– Theatre, Dickinson College.
There was this Hittite king who might or might not have had a son, but definitely moved his seat of government from one place to another, and then his brother moved it back, and all 8 people who care are like “Why’d he do that? Tevs.”
– Cuneiform Studies, University of Chicago