Fine by me


On guard

On guard

East Hampton residents stop deer culling plans. I certainly don’t want to hunt in the Hamptons, let alone visit there, so I don’t care what happens to the inhabitants, although I am cheering the deer ticks on, and won’t be too upset to see an outbreak of the deadly powassan virus among the animal lovers on Hampton beaches.

The resident deer population out there is estimated to be 35,000; if the deer do what deer usually do and double their numbers in two years, it will be interesting to watch the results. Friends of Animals is on record as preferring that deer starve to death rather than be shot, and its sister group PETA is fond of claiming that it’s hunting that causes deer to overpopulate, and argues that creating no-hunting sanctuaries will bring the numbers in check. That’s never happened, of course, but it’s nice to think it will, this time.


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9 responses to “Fine by me

  1. Walt

    Dude –
    While anxiously awaiting your email telling me which listing of yours we are holding our Super Breas…our Super Bowl soirée (LATIN DUDE!!) at, I decided to peruse the internet.

    Did you realize that it is black history month? So we must celebrate this most awesome holiday here on FWIW. But the most important thing about history is getting it accurate, correct? The color of one’s skin is much less important than historical accuracy, right, you flea infested mulatto?

    Anyhows, George Washington Carver. Black Mr. Peanut!! He invented everything peanut, correct? WRONG!! He didn’t invent PEANUT BUTTER!! The most popular use of that most pedestrian legume.

    Peanut Butter was invented by J.H. Kellogg, the same guy who brought us Fruit Loops. A white dude. He was also a proponent of yogurt enemas, which made me like him, but he also thought masturbation was evil, and so he invented Nut and Honey Crunch, so you would focus on your pleasure toys, but not abuse them. Evil little genius. And this is also why he invented the toy in the cereal box, so you wouldn’t play with the one in your pants. TRUE STORY!! You can look it up.

    Another one. Famous Amos did NOT invent the chocolate chip cookie. That was invented by Ruth Graves Wakefield, a blue haired WASP. She was also probably an aunt of yours, who invented them so she had something to shove down your disgusting little throat in an effort to shut you the fuck up, while not actually killing you. Amos never paid her the royalties she deserved.

    Finally, Maxine Waters is not stupid because she is black. She is stupid because she is retarded. And racist. The people that elected her are stupid ones. And also black.

    I will continue to add factually correct tidbits as the Black History month moves along, if I may be so bold. Thank You.

    Now send me the address for the party. You frigging loser. We have a hot tub, right? In case the game is boring, invite Francis so we can bounce cocktail franks off his head. That will help pass the time.

    Your Pal,

  2. pulled up in OG

    “I’m going to work for George W. Bush and the Pentagon. I have to slay a dragon and then Barbara Bush is mine.”

    The government believes Smith was referring to the former president’s daughter and not Bush’s mother.

  3. Anon

    Whoa! What’s with the Hamptons hostility?!

    • The eastern end of Long Island was a wonderful place in the off season back in the 1970s – today, not so much.
      But there are a lot more deer now, and they’re nice. I’ll be sorry to see them starve.

  4. FlyAngler

    Walking around behind my house today and I spooked six deer that were bedded down for the day. All does (saw no antlers) and all appeared relatively young. Anyone with a deer permit looking to cull a few deer north of the Merritt?

  5. eb

    When the deer were up in the Northwest Woods, the Town of East Hampton was fine with it. Up went seven foot deer fences over all the four plus acre properties in the Northwest. The deer got hungry and moved into Georgica. The super rich do not like their hydrangeas eaten in the summer, so a move to cull the deer was in full swing. There are way too many deer, way too many car accidents involving deer, and way too much Lymes Disease (which is a another story). Twice we saw a wild cat we think was a bobcat or maybe a mountain lion. I think someone tried to introduce a predator on the East End which is what is going to happen. The super rich have different rules.

  6. Fred2

    Yeah, a dozen packs of wolves, a number of mountain lions and your Deer pop would be in check. Otherwise the usual trend is population bubble ecological denudation, disease, starvation, population crash, rinse repeat. Predators won’t stop that but would help.

    Of course with wolves and big cats, the Hamptons will be much more fun.