It’s because I lack a penis

Dr. Helen Smith: “Negotiating While Stupid”

Over at Slate, there is a ridiculous article about a female academic who asks for too much and is rejected for the job. Naturally, it’s because she is female. Seriously, after looking at the list of demands she wants, who would want her?:

As you know, I am very enthusiastic about the possibility of coming to Nazareth. Granting some of the following provisions would make my decision easier[:]

1) An increase of my starting salary to $65,000, which is more in line with what assistant professors in philosophy have been getting in the last few years.

2) An official semester of maternity leave.

3) A pre-tenure sabbatical at some point during the bottom half of my tenure clock.

4) No more than three new class preps per year for the first three years.

5) A start date of academic year 2015 so I can complete my postdoc.

The dumb advice given by feminists and books like Lean In: Women, Work, and the Will to Lead might make women feel good but no one, male or female does themselves any favors being this entitled when looking for a job. Would you hire this list of demands, male or female?

Here’s the college’s response, by the way:

Thank you for your email. The search committee discussed your provisions. They were also reviewed by the Dean and the VPAA. It was determined that on the whole these provisions indicate an interest in teaching at a research university and not at a college, like ours, that is both teaching and student centered. Thus, the institution has decided to withdraw its offer of employment to you.

Thank you very much for your interest in Nazareth College. We wish you the best in finding a suitable position.


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43 responses to “It’s because I lack a penis

  1. Al Dente

    I asked my boss for a covered parking space. He gave a plastic tarp.

  2. anonymous

    Women are constantly being duped into believing they can have it all. Sheryl Sandberg is the epitome of hypocrisy, telling other women to lean in when she leans ON others for support – her nanny, her housekeepers, her driver, her personal assistant. Kudos to her for being smart enough to get the top job, but let’s not make it about being a woman. Make it about the fact that she brought the best skills.

    When women learn that it’s not their sex that employers care about, maybe then they will be taken more seriously. Hillary Clinton, take note.

  3. Inagua

    Is it a coincidence that this silly woman and the clown yesterday who advocated criminalizing Global Warming Skepticism were both Professors of Philosophy?

    • Libertarian Advocate

      That was of course a rhetorical question, right?

    • Why didn’t she also add that she must be allowed PTO for her vajazzle appointments, too? I’m thinking it’s no coincidence whatsoever. Rather, it’s clearly a demand for conditional surrender in the vein of: I insist upon this list of entitlements BECAUSE I am woman, therefore I am justified (forget about the whole Hear me roar thing) I have leverage because if you fail to live up to my excessive demands then you are clearly a misogynistic member of the He-Man Woman Haters Club! Be assured, NOW will hear about this, battalions of PMS’ing butcher knife wielding Lorraina Bobbits will find you in your sleep, pompous postulates of the penis!
      Demonstrable skill sets, ability to do the job in a manner consistent person for the job, and so on are absolutely not terms in the entitlement mind.-the 1960s called, they want their job requirements back, that’s SO like 30 minutes ago.
      I am female, therefore I deserve. Exceptions must be made. Bras must be burned. Besides, hell hath no fury and all that you irreverent, heathen, knuckle-dragging, defilers of the mother goddess. Take your penile envy theories and…sun don’t shine, y’know the drill (ok, bad puns there, I admit)
      Do I offer exceptional skill and experience in return? Ridiculous! Mediocrity on my best day should be all I need to “teach” the young, nubile mush minds of today and with the bargain basement salary of $65K what more can you really expect of me?

      This aspiring to academic royalty, Venus rising from the foam, deigning to compete woman is surely a Millennial, a rabid liberal, or a direct decedent of Geraldine Ferraro. Maybe all three.

  4. Rivman

    This Nazareth example is classic stupidity. You (or recruiter, if using) negotiate verbally on a new job and then the revised agreement is put in writing. The only time you consider putting it in writing is if you are negotiating a severance. BTW, I notice Slate doesn’t have the ability to comment on the editors assertions.

    • Libertarian Advocate

      FWIW: “verbally” can be in either oral or written format.

      • It matters not. I am woman!
        So shall it be written. So shall it be done!
        ( yet another example of penile “superiority” Verbal, oral, it matters not. We all know where this is going.)
        To demonstrate your true lack of male superiority you must all become self-castrated eunuchs and worship at the alter of the vajay-jay.

        After all, if mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy, right?
        Happy wife, happy life, ring a bell?
        Three wise men. As if you could find three?

        (FYI, I am female. and I’m armed to the Vagina Dentata on this subject.(

  5. If it’s true this women had an offer and if it’s also true she sent these demands in an email, verbally, or otherwise, then she is too stupid to be a college professor. That’s the reason the college should have given for rescinding their offer.

  6. anony

    I’ve always found it bizarre that some women have such a sense of entitlement that when they act foolishly they treat the consequences as evidence of unfair discrimination.

    Speaking of discrimination, why are sports segregated by sex? Why not one tennis team or 100m butterfly? Why is being a woman treated as a disability when they are actually superior? Shouldn’t feminists break down such barriers?

    • They now allow transgenders to play with the sex they feel most comfortable with, so we’re there.

    • Those of us who know honestly know and understand what it means to be female do not see barriers to be broken down. Broken down to the bare metal, that’s a manufactured crisis propagated by those who allow themselves to be marginalized into a sub species. Very much akin to the whole racial discrimination, gender bias, homophobic, Love me love my illness, undocumented worker/illegal alien “crisis” special interest crew.
      As a young, single ,inexperienced, college graduate, I found myself competing with men ,much older than I, seeking employment to allow them to support their families. Never once in all those instances did I feel I did or did not get the job because I am female. Not once. I was outgunned, plain and simple. I saw no “barriers” worthy of rallying my Ya-Ya Sisterhood to battle. I’ve never felt that I’m a “victim” due to lack of external genitalia. Rather than raise your daughters to see themselves as victims of a male dominated society with barriers firmly in place, teach them to be smarter. Not disadvantaged. Not handicapped in some imaginary war on sexism. Truly thinking, smart, and capable. Honest achievers who have earned their place by merit. Period.

  7. Gee, Sheryl’s penis looks alot like Bono, doesn’t it?

  8. anonymous

    The woman who gets my vote as most successful CEO is Mary Barra of GM. Not once have I heard her play the female card. The media tried non-stop to talk about another break in the glass ceiling, but Mary insisted, rightly so, that her promotions and eventual rise to the top were from hard work and having the right skills. Put her in the room one-on-one with Sandberg, or with this nutcase who applied to Nazareth, I put my money on Barra. Straight talker. Straight shooter. Smart. No agenda. Killer.

  9. AJ

    I think the woman known as “W” should get a strap-on and reapply.

  10. Anonymous

    Your byline could explain many of your posts. 🙂

    • Ok, Troll, care to expound?

      Fluffly cotton or brass, it does prove one thing: I have the cajones to actually use a by line rather than lurk behind Anonymous. And you’ll never find the mighty bunny making it personal, so don’t poke the snake. 😛

      • Easy now, Bunny – the post was directed at moi and after putting up with the likes of Walt these many years, I can handle a suggestion that I don a strap-on. It’d probably impress my girlfriend, if I had a girlfriend.

        • Was it indeed? Then I stand corrected-a fete, I must admit, not often and easily accomplished.
          And Walt, whoever he/she may be, is just the bees knees, in my hyperbole-laced and not so humble opinion.
          I’ve been peering over my husband’s shoulder, reading posts for months and Walt simply slays me. In a funny, sullied, rather back alley kinda way, that is.

        • Roger Rabbit

          I think you and Walt have met your match. Little Bunny Foo Foo takes no guff. She might also solve your “no girlfriend” problem. Win. Win.

  11. Thank you Rog, may I call you Rog? It sounds better than say Reg. I take that as a true compliment. The fact that I have been married for a considerable period of time to a long term poster to this site means I’m really not girlfriend material I fear that Walt would scandalize me into a withdrawn shell of a former bunny, anyway. I’m fairly high maintenance. My material is my own, however. I’m sure there’s a bunny out there for every man who thinks he can handle one. Maybe even one who really digs bathroom humor for Walt.
    Fluffily yours,

    • Roger Rabbit

      Ok Bunny, you’ve piqued my interest. Married to a long time poster. Hmmm. High maintenance would lead me to believe your hubby makes real dough, so that eliminates all the realtors who comment here. The hoot would be if you are Mrs. Walt, with an equally fascinating personality. Kinda like Peter and Lois Griffin. Although Walt is more Quagmire.
      Do we get any clues to your spouse?

      • Probably not Dollar Bill

      • Alas, Sir Rog, I’d love to say I’ve taken a vow of chastity but that just doesn’t suit the mighty bunny, err. Ok, that’s came out all wrong. I have vowed to maintain radio silence on the matter. I will tell you that there are very subtle clues mixed in my posts. If you’re really paying attention, it won’t be hard to figure out. In fact, there’s one post that actually spells out his handle. But like all real bunnies, it’s very cleverly concealed right in front of you It’s there, really. Bunnies’ honor.
        Ewwww, Quagmire.

  12. Of course not! My cotton tail is much more stylish than that! TackTackyTacky.

    • Roger Rabbit

      I guess BigMike. He has a big personality who would relish a wife who speaks her mind and spend his $$ on Louboutins and many bottles of Chanel. You’ve referred to being Irish a lot but no way do I see you married to The Mickster.


      • Cold – I have her ip address! (Which, of course, will always be stored in a secure, undisclosed location – only I and the NSA know it)

        • Does that mean I have to kill you now? Totally NOT fair! You cheated!

        • Roger Rabbit

          Ok. I looked at her gravatar and it says PA underneath. I don’t know if that means she’s from Pennsylvania but if do, it would account for why she isn’t commenting on local Greenwich events, like MISA and houses for sale. Her thing is politics and snark. Now I’m really thinking.

      • Ice, frigid cold, Sir Rog. Though I am of Irish decent I have silky blond hair, read: NOT red! All bunnies have soft, silky hair, didn’t you know? and perhaps I buy my own Louboutins and flacons of Chanel? And honestly, i’m far too style conscious to link myself to someone called BigMike. Sounds like a truck driver, really. Read, it’s there. Afterall, the best place to hide is in the open, right?

  13. A little warmer Sir Rog. No I’m not indigenous to PA but I live somewhere within. Politics and snark, that’s me to a TEE. My main magic man is indigenous to Pa and his thing is politics and snark, too.

    • Roger Rabbit


      Of course the shoes could be with your money, but I bet they aren’t. Just saying.

      • I’m busted. I gave it away, didn’t I? But perhaps I’m just leading you down the wrong rabbit hole?

        • Roger Rabbit

          Mr. Wizard lists his location in his gravatar profile as Central Pennsylvania. That was my only way of associating you to him. If you are leading me down the wrong rabbit hole…my friend Chessy has something to say about that.

        • Or maybe..maybe i’m really just a sexually frustrated truck stop waitress named Lurlene, married to some big, beer-bellied slouch who hasn’t had a job since I don’t when. I might even have polyester curtains and a redwood deck, too! 3.5 snot-nosed kids stuffed into a robin’s egg blue, rusted out minivan and a dirty key chain that says “soccer mom” and maybe I can’t keep track of which heathen is in or out of juvvy this week. Maybe I wouldn’t know a pair of Louboutins from an Hermes bag, either. Or maybe I’m just a highend stock broker married to a sexy construction upper management dude. A bunny has to have her secrets.

  14. yeah, like that’ll ever happen, Mr.F.