Russians seize two Ukrainian warships, US responds

Don't make me laugh - it hurts

Don’t make me laugh – it hurts

The Russians step up the pressure. In the face of looming fears of war, United States Secretary of State John Kerry announced that he’ll be dispatching “scientific experts” to Uganda to discuss and explain the root causes of homosexuality to that nation’s president. 

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16 responses to “Russians seize two Ukrainian warships, US responds

  1. anon

    Kerry will have as much success with this lame sucky idea as he did telling Putin to watch out. I wonder why Putin didn’t add Kerry to the Do Not Travel list.

  2. Has anyone else noticed that Putin always appears as though one good orgasm would kill him?

    And someone PLEASE, enlighten me as to why we give a rat’s backside about what the Ugandan president thinks or knows about anything?
    Seriously, who gives a….about Uganda? Sitting in mud huts, swatting flies and fighting off Hyenas for road kill.

    When did anyone last read a headline proclaiming: “Uganda Leads the World in Scientific/Medical/Anything Breakthrough Discovery!”? Or Uganda Public Library open for business and business is good?

    I realize that this is at odds with those having a “Save Darfur!” bumper sticker, none of whom can find Darfur on a map nor tell you why Darfur should even be saved. Plus John Kerry is an idiot.

    AArrGGH!! Makes me nuts

  3. Walt

    Dude –
    Duderino. Dude Man. Balloon Head. Dirt Boy. YES YOU!!

    What is up with this missing plane? How can they not find it? We have the Malay’s, the Kangaroo dudes, the Chinks, and everyone else looking for it.

    IT’S FREAKING ME OUT!! And who is this Deb Bris they are all looking for? Some Jewish mohel? Can a woman be a Rabbi Dude? I would think they would be better at carving up a penis than a man, so I hope so. And are all the mohel’s the fur hat wearing Brooklyn Jews? The really scarey ones with the jerry curls? They would frighten me, even as a baby, and make my wanker retreat like a scared turtle head. Making it hard to scalp, I would think. And what is going on with the Cos Cob synagogue? Not that I really care, just making conversation. You bagel.

    And what is all this talk of a black box? How do they know it was a black box? Why not a Gook box? Or a white box? And do they know if it was a baldy? THAT IS RELEVANT INFORMATION!! I really hope it wasn’t a baldy. They may lose popularity.

    What do you think? You hairy assed monkey.
    Your Pal,
    Walt

    • Well…they did find a “possible object” floating around in the middle of the Indian Ocean..My thoughts are: a “possible” object?? It either IS or ISN’T. Showed up on satellite and the Malays sat on it for a few days, it seems. I admit to raising one finely-sculpted eyebrow to the fact that the spokesman for the Malays was some Saddam-looking guy named, Jihad-Hadib-Ali-Babba-Something HUSSEIN. Coincidence?

      Anyhoo, if the “possible” object turns out to be in fact, an object we should know within a day or two. Supposed to be about the size of a seashipping container-makes me wonder if that’s where my Mercedes got off to.

      Wouldn’t it be like totally awesome if it were a life raft with survivors?

    • Ok, we’ll call it an Obama box or a Maxine waters box. Work for you?

  4. Inagua

    Another great headline, Chris! You are a joy and delight to read.

    • Wait a sec.. was that a manufactured headline? So I wasted a perfectly good rant for nothing?

      • AJ

        Read da links, Bunny, then you will know.

        • Having just arrived, floating in from the shower on a new Vera Wang fragrance, I shall ponder this new information, Thank you kindly good Sir? Madam?
          Then, I’ll be back, locked, cocked, and ready to rock.

        • Ok, so now I know why I skipped over that particular link. Shoulda known it’d be HuffPo.

        • So my rant stands as is…BUT
          $485 mil in “bilateral aid”? For what? More war lord butchery and lawlessness? Upgraded mud huts? This stuff makes me insane. Why aren’t the gay rights nutties over there changing the guy’s mind if it’s so vitally important? Where’s Jesse Jackson and the Rainbow Push disciples? Al Sharpton? Van Jones, Jeremiah Wright? Why aren’t these guys over changing minds if it’s so almost Nazi Germany?

    • High praise indeed, Inagua-thank you.

  5. Fred2

    Wait… we know the root cause of homosexuality? Someone can explain it with facts, figures, etc… rather than some hand-waving theories?

    Sounds like the science is settled, just like global warming to me.

    • I dunno about hand waving, Jazz hands, perhaps.

      A long term friend of mine is a PA State trooper. He’s as gay as they get. Due to his job, he’s about as far back in the closet as one can be. Because I’m a good friend, I’ve acted as his “beard” on a few select occasions to help him maintain a straight image and remain on the down low. He likes his life the way it is and feels no compulsion to make his personal business a matter of public debate.
      This splendid example of drop dead gorgeous man meat would make many a single lady a good catch, (as in: slick this guy’s abs up with warm baby oil and use him for a Slip’n’ Slide!) I assure you. IF it weren’t for the fact that he’s totally gay.

      Moving on, he’s well aware that I am not a gay rights supporter by any stretch and I’m well aware that he’s irrevocably gay. Over the years, I’ve asked him many a pointed question with the intent to understand why he’s the way he is. Like, at what point to you begin batting for the other team and what caused it? His responses have never changed, saying he’s “always been this way” and has always been attracted to men, sexually.

      There was no mitigating circumstance, no instance of revulsion, no rejection by his father. No sudden self-realization epiphany whilst trying on his sister’s panties It just is what it is.
      I’ve come to believe and understand that this quality human being is what he says he is but prefers to keep private business, private. No harm, no foul. He lives on the down low, privately. His choice. Free country and all that.

      I don’t think there really is an “explanation” in some cases. Perhaps there just is no science to it. Leave it to the rabid liberals to insist there’s a science and waste gobs of taxpayer money trying to prove it in some godforsaken place like Uganda.

      Conversely, I believe the defiant “we’re here, we’re queer, get used to it” all up in your face, flamboyantly lewd, utterly disrespectful, publicly lascivious, moral turpitude, sexuality is a political platform, one-way “tolerance” crew have head wiring problems. That crowd should be held to accounting for the why’s of why they are the way they are. Punto.

  6. Chief Scrotum

    Ukrainian warships? That’s just funny to even say.

  7. Anonymous

    Completely agree with the bunny here. I believe you are gay from the time you leave the womb. You’re hardwired to that lifestyle. Nothing wrong with that.

    I’m a conservative who believes homosexuality is hardwired and should be left alone. Same on pro-life. All positions should be respected. If both sides agreed to respect each others position, we would’nt have these childish arguments and we could focus on the things that really matter to the future of this country…..