Daily Archives: May 24, 2014

Downsizing the military to the insignificant

 

Different one

Different one

Marines sent to Chad to protect the elephants. That’s good news for the elephants, but between spending $150 a gallon for “green” fuel for its ships and planes to demonstrate the Obama military’s commitment to the environment, the suspension of promotions because of fiscal restraints and an inability to provide veterans medical care, this strikes me as an odd priority.

Besides, elephants can be nasty brutes, as this incident proves.

While on duty in Chad, a Marine came across an elephant standing with one leg raised in the air. The elephant seemed distressed, so the Marine approached it very carefully, got down on one knee and inspected the elephant’s foot and discovered a large thorn deeply embedded in the soft pad.

As carefully and as gently as he could he removed the thorn, and the elephant gingerly put down its foot. The elephant turned to face the man and, with a mean, stern gleam in his piggish eyes, stared at him. For a good ten minutes the Marine stood frozen, regretting that he’d left his rifle by the trailside, but eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned, and walked away.

After retiring from the service and for years after, the Marine remembered the elephant and the events of that day. One day he was walking through the Bronx Zoo with his son. As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures turned and walked over to where they were standing at the rail, and studied him with a fixed stare. After several minutes, he trumpeted loudly and stepped back three yards.

“It’s him!” the Marine exclaimed to his son as he jumped over the railing and raced for the beast. “He remembers me!”

Suddenly the elephant trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around one of the Marine’s legs, swung him wildly and dashed him to the ground, shattering his skull and killing him instantly.

“Guess it wasn’t the same elephant,” his son observed.

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Bill Whittle on “Trigger Warnings”

Seven minutes of joyful skewering – worth every second.

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On the one day of the year it might be useful …

 

Whoa, can't you take a joke?

Whoa, can’t you take a joke?

Greenwich Public Works digs up sidewalk along the Old Greenwich Memorial Day parade route.

Public Works Commissioner Amy Siebert explained her thinking to FWIW: “We continue to find there is no good time to do these projects — it’s a real struggle — so we finally decided, ‘fuck it, let’s just do it when we want to.”

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WTF?

 

Original

Original

The Democrats, for some inexplicable reason, have started a marketing campaign featuring a likeness of Obama and the catch-phrase, “Like a Boss”. I’m out of the popular culture sphere, so I asked Dr. Google what the phrase meant and got this:

Like A Boss is a catchphrase often used in image macros or GIFs that feature a person completing an action with authority and finesse. Similar to Haters Gonna Hate, the characters in the macros have an air of superiority and do not care how others perceive them.

Whatever the Democrats thought their message would convey, the reaction came quickly.

like-a-boss-except

Like a Bystander

 

 

 

 

like-a-douche

Because F..k You, That's Why

Because F..k You, That’s Why (I had to look that up, too)

 

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This wouldn’t – couldn’t – happen in Brazil

 

Who loves ya, baby?

Who loves ya, baby?

Cardiff: KFC employee suspended after she claimed to have sprinkled pubic hair over customer’s order.

From now on, I’ll only order waxed thighs.

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British real estate agents have more fun

 

Hot hot hot!

Hot hot hot!

Up-scale real estate brokerage bans sex on the premises after agents’ condoms clog the toilets.

A London branch of upmarket estate agent Savills has banned its employees having sex at work because used condoms have been clogging up their toilets.

According to a leaked email sent by a senior member of staff at Savills in Sloane Street, Pimlico Plumbers spent seven hours working out the cause of problems with the branch’s toilets.

Richard Gutteridge, director of residential houses, sent the memo to about 50 members of staff at the branch, warning them ‘obviously such activity should not be taking place in the office’.

The emergency plumbing work ‘cost the office a considerable amount of money’, according to Mr Gutteridge’s leaked email.

He said that after working on the toilets for at least seven hours, the plumbers eventually found a mass of used condoms had caused a blockage in the pipes, preventing them draining properly.

‘As well as it being extremely inconvenient to have both loos out of order for an entire day, this has now cost the office a considerable amount of money,’ Mr Gutteridge added.

‘Please can we be considerate to the ancient Sloane Street plumbing going forward,’ he went on.

In most real estate office I know of, if you banned scumbags you’d lose half your sales force.

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