Speaking of stupid lawsuits

 

So sue me

So sue me

Harvard lawyer Dov Seidman sues Chobani Yogurt for stealing his brilliant marketing strategy based on the theme, “It’s not just what you do, but how you do it”.

The Harvard Law School grad is also suing Manhattan-based Droga5, which counts Healthcare.gov, HoneyMaid and Motorola as clients.

He wants Chobani to immediately stop using his trademarked philosophy, plus unspecified money damages.

If Dov had lifted his nose out of a law book up there in Harvard, he might have discovered the works of Grantland Rice (November 1, 1880 – July 13, 1954) who, long before young Dove was even a gleam in his proud mama’s eye, wrote,

“For when the One Great Scorer comes
To mark against your name,
He writes – not that you won or lost –
But how you played the Game.”
Of course, Dove is probably planning to sue the estate of Mr. Rice, too, probably because he’s been inspired by another of Rice’s poems:
“Money to the left of them and money to the right
Money everywhere they turn from morning to the night
Only two things count at all from mountain to the sea
Part of it’s percentage, and the rest is guarantee”

 

14 Comments

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14 responses to “Speaking of stupid lawsuits

  1. Walt

    Dude –
    It may be Greek yogurt, but as far as I can tell, this is an all-out Jew vs. Jew fight OVER MONEY. This is not one, as a Gentile, you want to stick your big, fat WASPY nose into. This will be a battle to the death, which goyims are best advised to stay out of. You have been warned. So act like a mensch.

    Anyhows.
    In the Jewish doctrine, when does a fetus become a human? When it graduates from medical school!!

    Why do Jewish men like to watch porno movies backward? They like the part where the hooker gives the money back!!

    What’s the definition of a gay Jew? Someone that likes girls more than money!!

    Can you post something now on the Mick’s, Wop’s, or Pr’s so I can get that out of my system?

    Thank you.

    Your Pal,
    Walt

    • I think Chobani is Turkish, but otherwise ….

      • Libertarian Advocate

        Believe it or not, there are quite a lot of Turkish Jews who descend from the Sephardic Jews who fled Spain in the 1492 when they were driven out from the country by Ferdinand & Isabella and later settled from Morocco to Istanbul and beyond, even India. Their language, Ladino, is still spoken today.

      • Libertarian Advocate

        Here’s a hauntingly beautiful song sung in the Ladino tongue:

      • Walt

        Dude –
        That makes no sense. It’s a Greek yogurt. And it is a well-known FACT the Turk’s despise the Greeks. In fact. IN FACT!! A very popular Turkish joke is as follows:
        Bir Türk Lokumu nedir?
        Ölü bir Yunan.

        That one always kills me!! So anyhows. I am still going Jew vs. Jew in the lawsuit. איר לוזער!!
        Your Pal,
        Walt

  2. Dov Seidman

    OK SMART ASS, you’re next and that Walt guy too. I don’t know why, I think it’s mostly just because I really enjoy litigation and the emotionally withering effect it has on all defendants.

  3. AJ

    “This Is What’s Wrong with the Legal System in America

    What else could we have done with the billions of dollars squandered on regulatory friction and the pursuit of questionable claims of damage?

    Behind the public-relations facade of “advocacy” and “justice,” much of the American legal system is unproductive regulatory friction and the pursuit of extortionist rentier skims. I recently received an email that reflects many aspects of this systemic reality.

    The letter blares legal threat in its upper-case title: TRADEMARK VIOLATION. Not possible trademark violation or alleged trademark violation, but a declaration of the unquestioned guilt of the recipient.

    The email then proceeds to the accusation:

    We recently visited your website and discovered that you are using the phase “From the Garden to the Table” on your website.

    This is not an accurate statement. I used the phrase once within a longer string of words: from the garden to the table in 20 minutes. I am not “using the phrase on my website,” I wrote those words once as a description of my individual actions, i.e. harvesting vegetables from my garden and preparing a meal with them in 20 minutes.

    Next, the email lists the URL to the offending page on my site, but when I clicked on the link, it led to some other website:

    This URL http://www.oftwominds.com/blogfeb14/chard2-14.html led tohttp://experimentalstation.org/garden-to-plate-for-carnegie-elementary-school-students-woodlawn-chicago, a page of the Chicago-based organization experimental station.

    In other words, this threatening legal letter was filled with errors both subtle and egregious. Anecdotally, such sloppiness is hardly unique in American law–especially when it comes to issuing veiled threats and enforcing rentier skims. The basic approach in America is unleash a tsunami of questionable threats and demands and then see what sticks.

    The email then declared: Please take formal and Legal notice that the phrase “From the Garden to the Table” is a TRADEMARKED NAME of a California based non-profit organization. This registration is listed under #3118945 in the US Patent and trademark office.

    At this juncture, we have reason to believe that your utilization of the trademark may be an oversight, and as such, we are sending you this notice to request that you immediately remove this phrase from your website. (emphasis in the email)

    Would any judge declare my single use of this phrase in the context of a longer phrase a violation of trademark law? It’s difficult to see how my writing the plain English descriptive phrase from the garden to the table in 20 minutes harms the trademark or the holder of the trademark, from the garden to the table, a non-profit organization whose slogan is Eat & Live Green.

    Perhaps the organization has trademarked that phrase as well, so please be cautious in your use of eat & live green as well as from the garden to the table.

    You see the Orwellian absurdity of a non-profit promoting growing and eating healthy food devoting resources to threatening individuals and other organizations that share these same goals with unproductive and nonsensical accusations of trademark violation.

    If I were a donor of from the garden to the table, I would be wondering . . .”

    http://charleshughsmith.blogspot.com/2014/05/this-is-whats-wrong-with-legal-system.html

    • Libertarian Advocate

      I suspect that the motive underlying the demand letter is really an over-zealous proactive defense of the mark. Part of TM law is the theory that the mark can be lost through inadequate efforts to squash clear violations of the mark, but innocent “uses” of the mark if both numerous and widespread may also lead to effective “abandonment” of the mark. I don’t see it in this case, but who knows what a judge might think. That said, I’m actually a bit surprised they got the mark in the first instance. It’s a pretty common string of words expressing a very common idea. The best marks are usually unique and original. The more fanciful the mark, the stronger it is in the eyes of the law.

      • Libertarian Advocate

        I should have added that this could also be a case of a mostly machine driven search for TM violations. Lawyer or even paralegal plugs the protected word mark into a search engine, scours the net for any and all uses of the phrase, finds it and plugs it into a letter automatically. No human really reviews the use and context of the word string searched, so off goes the demand letter in service to the God of the Billable Hour.

        • AJ

          Ah yes. The billable hour. Something to keep in mind when a lawyer tells you should fight this thing: you can win. Ask yourself, what is it that lawyers sell.

  4. D

    My late father in law, a long time Greenwich resident and gentleman, always said “it’s not what you have, it’s what you do with what you have”
    Too bad our current thinking is not as kind or proactive.