And you certainly couldn’t find these in Alpine

11 Joshua Lane - "Le Petite Masonne

11 Joshua Lane – “Le Petite Maison dans la Prairie”

11 Joshua Lane has hit the market, 3,400 sq. feet, an acre of land, asking $3.095, after selling for $2.550 in 2009. I’m always wary of the term “recently refreshed” where “renovated” usually goes – brings to mind sweeping dust bunnies from under the beds and a quick flush and a spritz of Glade in the powder room – but I was particularly attracted to its claim to “separately situated staff quarters”.

It’s a friggin’ run of the mill suburban pseudo-colonial on an acre of land, for Chrissake – you wanna stick your Filipino baby sitter in a windowless cubical in the basement, fine, but that’s not “staff quarters”, and you still won’t live in a manor, no matter what you call it. Get a grip.

23 Comments

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23 responses to “And you certainly couldn’t find these in Alpine

  1. Anonymous

    Cheap looking roof/house in general. They went to the trouble of using Scalamandre wallpaper, yet didn’t redo the kitchen? Price is crazy for 3,000sf. Funny to think of someone living in a glorified tract house having live in help.

  2. Anonymous

    Nice land and location except uh oh, is this one acre in two acre zoning?
    That would explain the smallish house.

    • In fact, it’s in the one-acre zone so,with 1 1/4 acres, you ould expand. Maybe even put in a natatorium for the staff.

      • anon2

        A mother-in-law is a better option for separate quarters. I know a few families who are moving an aging parent into a cottage on the property or a wing of the house. Gives the senior a sense of independence and the adult child peace of mind.

        • They’re a rarity, and I have a couple of clients looking for exactly that arrangement, especially within walking distance of town. Almost impossible to find, which makes me think there’s a market there.

      • Anonymous

        I believe it’s back lot also with a longer driveway I think which takes away from the FAR.

  3. Brad Benedict

    Are the staff quarters in the cottage by the pool?

    • anon

      Funny. The listing says the pool “house” IS heated so perhaps…

      See linked photo #13 of 17 for reference!! LOL.

  4. Anonymous

    I had to look that up – natatorium. We can’t all be Yale grads. Good thing that is one acre zoning. House will sell for 2.5. Maybe.

  5. what happens on the prairie, stays on the prairie:

  6. Guest

    Price and assessment are high for a 3400 square foot house. Yes, lot is flat, and it has a pool and is a pretty colonial. However, capes in good condition with the same square footage in the same neighborhood are 2’ish in price. Shows what a nice shape will do for a house.

  7. Guest

    I take this back. Price is really high – $902 a square foot. The average in the neighborhood is a little over $650 a square foot. Not sure why this warranted even $2.5 in 2009. Assessor put one over on them – flat lot/ pool/ pretty shape house added half a million to the FMV assessment?

  8. Anonymous

    Separately situated staff quarters. Where did this realtor study English? The over use of the word situated in real estate remarks is so tiresome.

    • Aw, the realtor’s a great person, extremely well spoken, and very successful. But on this one, she missed. In her defense, it’s really hard to write short real estate copy that sets your house apart, without falling into flowery, cliched phrases. Tom Gorin was a master at it – probably still is – but most of us struggle, and sometimes lay an egg.

  9. Randomly assigned name

    This is actually a lovely house, not sure why that’s not coming through in the pics. The description re: staff quarters may not have been the best wording, but it feels renovated and has a gorgeous flat yard and pool. Joshua is a nice cul de sac too. “Guest,” you can’t go exclusively by square footage for a house – it’s not an apartment – too many other factors go into price of a house incl. land, location, generator, pool etc. BTW, there aren’t too many capes in good shape in this neighborhood. Not sure where you get that pricing from.

    • Guest

      Lots of capes in the area and also colonials from the 1950s all being torn down, even if In mint condition. This is very overpriced.

      • The problem is that houses like this may be beautifully appointed, but the new construction makes them appear under scaled and obsolete. There are tear-downs galore and many more coming in this neighborhood.

  10. Anonymous

    the next open house i go to i’m going to loudly proclaim, “oooh, a granite-appointed counter!”

    will i either: a) get punched in the mouth, b) get called a total douchebag and told to stfu, or c) all of the above?