Well, Ioved her in “Shakespeare in Love”

Oh, if only you were a light-skinned negro

Spokesman for the mentally retarded Gwyneth Paltrow orgasms on stage while introducing Obama to fellow millionaires in her backyard.

The actress introduced the President to a crowd of 200 supporters. She gushed: “You’re so handsome that I can’t speak properly.” Paltrow also described herself as one of Obama’s “biggest fans, if not the biggest.”

Paltrow told the crowd: “It would be wonderful if we were able to give this man all of the power that he needs to pass the things that he needs to pass.” She cited sustainable energy efforts as well as Obama’s push for equal pay, which she called “Very important to me as a working mother.”

Working mother Paltrow has a net worth estimated at $160 million, and takes in $10-$20 million per year, depending on her schedule.