Is trading on Wall Street really this easy?

I'm sure they haven't,but how low a hurdle is that?

I’m sure they haven’t, but how low a hurdle is that?

Sage Kelly has been (temporarily – he’s going on paid leave) forced out of his $7 million job at Jefferies & Co., not for non-performance but because his customers are embarrassed to be associated with him.

The Wall Street bigwig accused by his soon-to-be ex of being a bed-soiling, drug-abusing wife-swapper was benched Thursday from his investment-banking job — as dirty details of his divorce reported by The Post began to cost his firm clients.

In the interim, Kelly, who rakes in $7 million a year as head of health-care investment banking at Jeffries, will be replaced by Ben Lorello, one of nearly 20 high-ranking execs accused by Christina of being part of her hubby’s cocaine-abusing posse. Kelly is on paid leave.

As a result of the highly publicized matrimonial spat, Jefferies has lost five clients — including one who was mid-deal and cited a “morality clause” in its contract with the company, Fox Business reported.

But the stunning allegations in Christina’s 26-page sworn affidavit — which include claims that Kelly urinated and defecated in bed and on the floor after booze and drug binges — are just “the tip of the iceberg,” a source who used to work with Kelly at their prior firm told The Post.

Kelly, Lorello and co-worker Dung Nguyen — whose wife, Jessica, allegedly engaged in steamy pool sex with Sage Kelly, Christina claimed in court papers — are a group of “ruthless and completely self-serving sociopaths” who loved to party, the source said.

“Many of us left because of the challenges of working in that group. It was honestly a miserable place to work — a complete boys’ club run by Ben,” the source added.

The source said he has hung out with the hard-partying honchos at hot spots like Marquee, Bungalow 8 and PM — and he added that he has “seen Sage pass out and lose his bladder control numerous times.”

During one particularly rowdy night out with a client, Kelly, 42, racked up a $28,000 bill at Scores strip club in Chelsea, the source claimed.

“In typical Sage fashion, he stuck the analyst with the tab. Poor kid almost had a nervous breakdown trying to figure out how to run it through as an expense,” the source said.

Note that Kelly isn’t accused of not making money from his trades; indeed he’s being paid millions of dollars for, presumably his stellar results, and many of his peers receive that much money or more for their own trading activity. But from what I know about Wall Street, Kelly’s behavior – except for soiling his bedsheets, which no one has ever confessed to me – is not atypical, so what’s up? Do these people have such remarkable recuperative powers that they can stay out til 4:00 doing booze, coke and strippers and then stagger into work at 6 and trade effectively, or is what they do really so simple that they can succeed at it even with impaired judgment and at 1/4 capacity?

Either way, nice work if you can get it, I suppose.


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51 responses to “Is trading on Wall Street really this easy?

  1. The New Normal

    he’s not a trader – he’s an investment banker to corporate clients (i.e. relationship manager) – more like sales than anything

  2. Anonymous

    28,000 at scores?
    What an idiot.
    Back room is 500, plus door cover is 50
    He overpaid.
    Typical banker.
    Total moron.

    • james

      I would say free to get in, 500 just gets you in the back room, then another 1000 do do anything you want plus a few 100 buying her drinks… but I agree not worth it. just go on and get a hotel room.

    • The New Normal

      I’m not sure what beverages you would order if entertaining ‘clients’, but I’m guessing it wasn’t bud light

      • james

        Popping champs like it’s 1999

        • thurston

          ” I am not hating on him”………………WTF? What is wrong with speaking english? What is up with the Greenwich ebonics? Also, what is up with the Mr. Kelly’s spread collar/double windsor look? Pure sartorial comedy!

        • Anonymous

          Ironic that you’re poking fun at Greenwichabonics, but use phrases like “WTF,” and not capitalizing the proper noun, “English.”

    • Anonymous

      Or he entertained 10 current clients and 10 prospective clients. They all had a great time and now his business became twice as big. That is why he was making 7mm per year and you are not.

      Who is the moron now?????

      • Anonymous

        Sage is that you?

      • dogwalker

        20 at a time? Wow, that’s stamina.

        • Anonymous

          When the idiot bankers go into places like Scores, they hand over a credit card and then management just starts swiping and swiping and swiping as they send over the bottles and the girls and god knows what else. Then when you’re done, they hand you a bill and since you know you’re getting expensed, you don’t give a crap, or they bank on your fear of being outed as a reprobate should you challenge the charge (love to hear the chargeback discussion with Amex, ‘ it was one private room grope, not six!’). This occurred to the husband of the UN ambassador from Bangladesh who starved a few thousand kids and instead ran up over $200,000 on night on the Bangla credit card

  3. towny

    Behind closed door corruption of clients is good management. Sage would be a natural in politics.

  4. Fred

    “Well according to at least one of his former associates, Sage is a “ruthless and completely self-serving sociopath”,

    Sounds like a perfect candidate for upper management and government…

    Seriously, did these personality types just hide themselves better in the old days or do we have sudden surfeit of these people in the ranks of the upper class. Or does our “meritocratic” system just highly encourage them, while the old anglo american “aristocracy” keep a lid on it by just promoting themselves as a group thus aside from the inside -group nutters, kept the outside group nutters out preventing the concentration of them at high levels?

    As to the sex, drugs and rock & roll… when did that become a thing, is it just my naive middle class morality that I find that it’s apparently openly acceptable in some circles as fairly shocking?

    • Publius


      The transition to where we are today had its genesis in the shift of ownership structure form partnerships to publicly traded companies. In the days of the partnerships, compensation and behavior was kept on a tight leash by those whose pockets were directly impacted, the partners. The goal back then was to be a partner, so the behavior we see today was not as egregious and was generally more discrete. Outrageous behavior back in the day was getting a little too friendly with a junior analyst at Harry’s. Today there are few bounds and despite the fact what used to be called “Personnel” is now called “Human Resources” there has been little done to reign in those who find new ways to define debauchery. Pay has exploded despite the pay for performance verbal spew because you are no longer paying with house money rather its on the shareholder’s dime.

      As for the role of investment bankers, there was a study done a number of years ago,( MIT perhaps ??) that reviewed a large sampling of M&A activity and concluded that something north of 90% of all M&A transactions reviewed destroyed shareholder wealth.I have worked with bankers and to a person when quoted the research I note would claim to be the 10% that did not…. with a straight face and a hint of indignation….

    • Fox

      Fred, don’t make the mistake of conflating wealth with class. Take a look around and you’ll see a lot of the of the biggest earners are the lowest of the low. As my ex used to say “they have lots of class all of it low.”

  5. thurston

    Professor Roy Hinkley: The Mosquitoes left us a note.
    Thurston Howell III: They can write?
    Professor Roy Hinkley: Apparently…

  6. Walt

    Dude –

    So just what is your problem with Sage? Besides his faggy first name, I mean? From someone with a brother named Gideon, I would have thought you to be more tolerant.

    So he likes strippers and blow. WHO DOESN’T!! So you can’t fault him there. He is into swapping partners. No harm no foul, I say. And what ever happened to Ms. McBeal anyway? She still in the hoosegow? You New Canaan partner swapping PERVERT!!

    Could it all just be a jealous money issue? This guy is as unskilled as you, yet DWARFS YOU in earnings power? Why does dwarf mean way more than, or bigger, in that context Dude, when dwarf’s are midgets? Oxymoron? You moron.

    Anyhows, I think your WASPY WASPYNESS is driving your dislike of this guy. HE MAKES MORE THAN YOU!! If he was old money, and willing to buy some dirt from you, you would let him drop a steamer on your living room floor and not say a word about it. And then serve him horse de vours.

    He didn’t beat his wife, or his snot nosed little brats, even though they probably all deserved it.

    So you are two peas in a pod. Cut from the same cloth. Siamese twins. Double trouble. He just has more money and fun than you do.

    What are you wearing tonight? Dress like Capote and pretend to be a writer. What time are you picking me up?

    You loser.
    Your Pal,

  7. Anonymous

    i blame al gore. if it wasn’t for his internet, we’d never hear of these things. and perfectly good raunchy escapades would continue without getting plastered all over it’s a damned shame.

  8. Aaron

    Many a married man in Greenwich must be shaking in their loafers. Lots of Christina Kelly types (i.e stupid, irresponsible, gold digging, coke sniffing ho’s) running around town. Her scorched earth strategy may give some of the local girls some crazy ideas. BE CAREFUL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  9. Anonymous

    Can we create a Sage Society and do our own hook-up parties? Someone else can have my share of the coke.

  10. AJ Nock

    I love Walt.